Daily Check In #3

Still taking your Antabuse?

Something triggering you to want to drink?

greentires,

yeah, I had a dissapointment this week - didn't get a job I thought I had.

And I'm still taking my Antabuse, so I won't drink. Just wish it would stop the cravings.

Meh. I'll live.

I've quit smoking for a month. I felt agitated so I sprayed some nicotine under my tongue but it didn't help.. I keep thinking about my future and life in general.. just makes me frustrated.. I took two gulps of rum then took two benzos..

I feel so depressed now. I wish I could cry.

what exactly does this mean?
bizi

Feel better cuz alcohol wore off quick.

It was 3 years 5 months sober on Wednesday and it said on my sober app that I was 51 days until my next milestone of 1,300 days sober.

Desoxyn,

Glad you're still in the game with trying to quit. Glad you're feeling better.

Quitting booze is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

splitimage

Admitting I have a MI and seeking treatment was harder for me.

Never drinking alcohol again (Yes.. that phrase)..

I feel like I have a headache without the pain. I took benzo but it didn't help. I should take another seroquel but that's probably dangerous to not take as prescribed.

So I must suffer..

I guess more water will help? I already drank a lot of that.. or ibuprofen although I don't have a headache.. maybe it will help.. I just want to sleep..

What I'm talking about is the chemical imbalance that happens after drinking in someone with mental illness

Today is 2 months sober.
splitimage

congratulations split!
((((HUGS)))))
bizi
me it'll be 7 weeks tomorrow.

I’m 4 months and a week sober, and I’m worried about Christmas. Normally I use alcohol to get me through it, now without it I’m not sure how I will cope... how do you guys deal with holidays sober??

I am going to the company Christmas dinner tonight. Drinks and apps at 6:00, seating at 7:00, so I am planning to stroll in around 6:45. By the time I walk around and tell a few people happy holidays, get introduced to plus ones and make a little small talk it will be time to get seated. I will flip my wine glass upside down as soon as I sit down. I am less than a week away from 18 months; I don't feel self conscious about it anymore. That's a huge thing that happens at some point. Early on, I felt like everyone noticed and scrutinized me for it, probably figuring out I have a problem. Most people are caught up in their own stuff.

As far as coping, I am more open about how I feel. That's hard; really hard. But bottling up was a big stressor.

I get offered almost all the time for drinks. I just ask if there is a can of pop that I can have and don’t ever let them crack it I want to crack myself because some times while their drinking I may not want to put into that spot to feel made to drink. Or I bring my own drinks...

Sometimes I wonder why people mix drinking with the holidays almost always it triggers something in my past. But stay safe and remember if it gets too much you can always leave or remove yourself from the situation.

Last night at the company dinner there was a four course meal - soup, salad, entree/sides and dessert. There were 4 wine glasses in front of every setting as there was a different featured wine for each course. The first one was already poured when we were seated. I asked the server to take the wine away and he pretty clearly understood what I was asking and took the other three glasses also. The guy sitting next to me did not understand and gave me the play by play of what he thought of each wine. It didn't really bother me. It is almost scary how I am becoming conditioned to not drinking, like I am getting lulled into letting my guard down. I am determined not to let that happen.

Another one of those cool numbers - 543 days.

I just realized a few days ago I have a spending / shopping addiction and I need to deal with this.

I am just not entirely sure how to, I have never had an issue like this before and it freaks me out a lot that its part of my life.But i want to do something to help myself.

I woke up in a panic this morning. It was the first time in a while I had one of those vivid drinking dreams that seems like a real memory when you fist wake up. In the dream I knew I was breaking sobriety. Weird and no big deal once I got my senses about me. I actually feel good about my first reaction being panic. In 3 days, one of my Christmas presents will be 18 months of sobriety.

Happy holidays, to one and all!

I feel like snorting something

It's frosty outside, but at least it's not snowing. Snow is soft and fine. Ice is not!

I forgot to post yesterday - 18 months!

One of the driving forces behind trying harder than ever before to make this time stick was the fear of going into my 60s as a problem drinker; risks of poor health and early death go way up. 18 months ago, I was also overweight (BMI over 33) and out of shape, which are two more big risk factors. Well, today I turned 60. I haven't had a drink in over 18 months, my BMI is below 25, I can do two hours of cardio non stop and I have visible abs. I can hardly believe that last part; that wasn't a goal because I didn't think that was realistic. So I am pretty pleased.

Way to go UpDownAround,

All awesome accomplishments.

splitimage

Nicotine spray kills my cravings for everything.

So I'm just addicted to nicotine spray