Daily Check In #3

Oh no splits! That sucks! I hope you feel better soon!

I made it through without acting out. Here's to taking care of me time.

Thanks childofchaos,
I was back to normal by about noon Monday. And at least I was well enough to make it down to my Mon. night Double Recovery meeting.
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4-acetoxy-n,n-dimethyltryptamine made me lay in bed, feeling the blankets, walking through the hallways and feeling the walls and then I'm like "Meh.. I'm on shrooms - Whatever..".

I'll just stay sober. I got the psychedelic message so now I'll hang up the phone.

It's sure hard to quit but it's harder to act out. So many things are at play. I'm just trying to fill my time when work gets cancelled. Crochet is my go to, besides exercise.

puzzlcar,
Great that you have a hobby you can turn to when you get urges. I knit when I get a craving to drink.
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I play video games, journal and draw.

Today is my sober birthday I can party if I want party if i want. No drugs and alcohol allowed!

Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday Greentires. Celebrate as much as you like.
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Yesterday I meant this...

5 months 19 days

congratulations all.
I am back from my vacation...need to take it all in and be serious about my addictions.
bizi

You are all strong people.

I took 2.4g of phenibut. I take it once or twice a week instead of xanax. I haven't taken benzos in something like a month?

I'm reading a book on how to quit smoking. I think it will work. If it doesn't, I'll quit anyways because I'm really sick of smoking and cancer runs heavily in my family.

I think of taking chemicals as something that HAPPENS to me. Not something that I DO. Like it is apart of my thought process. Like some illness.

Hmm.. Addiction!

A pill to make you numb
a pill to make you dumb
a pill to make you anybody else
but all the drugs in this world
won't save her from herself

9 months for me today. I would have missed it, if it wasn't for my ticker. Happy I've made it this far.
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Yay! Congrats!

I am happy for you split,,,look how far you have come!
bizi

I'm taking a step to get closer to my higher power. I want to be rid of this addiction! It's been only day 22, I think but it's been over a year for another part.

Well this happened today...

Congratulations Childofchaos.

6 months is really awesome. I hope you're going to do something nice for yourself to celebrate.

Keep up doing what you're doing.

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It was time to take my beta blocker and I was getting physical anxiety so I smoked a bowl of Temple high CBD strain weed but still was having mental anxiety so I took 1mg alprazolam.

Then I smoked my last cigarette ever. It's almost 12am. That's day 1 of not smoking, August 6th 2019. I've never been so sure that I can quit since I've ever quit. When I did quit, I was an ex-smoker. Now I'm a happy non-smoker.

I'm very relaxed but the relaxation won't last so I'll sleep as I just took a melatonin and 50mg of Seroquel.

I'll wake up very tired as usual and then take my Vyvanse and it will become slightly stressful but I will handle it because I just finished reading "Alan Carr's - The EASYWAY to Stop Smoking". It made me realize that smoking is all brain washing. Cigarettes do absolutely NOTHING for anyone. Cigarette smoking isn't a choice but a drug addiction. Smoking makes people even more stressed, bored, unfocused etc and the only reason that a smoker smokes is due to nicotine withdrawal from the previous cigarette and brainwashing by society, cultural conditioning and the tobacco companies. Smokers already know the health consequences of smoking which makes them want to light up a cigarette.

I recommend the book to anyone who wants to quit smoking. You continue smoking until you're finished the book and can take your time reading it. After 1/3 way through the book, I already wanted to quit but my mom's bf (Who recommended me the book) told me to keep smoking until I'm finished the day that I found out my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. My dad had cancer, aunt, grandfather, great uncle and more. I may have Lynch Syndrome which greatly increases the chances of cancer but that's just one of the things that can cause poor health.

6 million people die every year from smoking. Since the 21st century, over 1 billion people have died from smoking.

Belated congratulations to childofchaos831!

Well done!

I'm struggling. I badly want to relapse, but won't - just feeling really antsy. Also having urges to SI and I'm not going there. Just in a really bad headspace, and my regular aftercare meeting was cancelled this morning, so am missing that support.

But I'll be ok.

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