She's started again...

I'm so upset. My mother, who I thought had been sober for over nine months, has revealed that she's been secretly drinking. It hurts so much. She's dug us into a hole and we're stuck now. Our car was just taken away. When it comes to credit... ours goes downhill when she drinks. Our power had been shut off a week or so ago, and she had to borrow money.

I feel so betrayed. She said she's been drinking rum, used to be wine, and she'd drink it when she was alone, or mix it with her soda, so we couldn't smell it. I found a bottle once but she said it was old and she was throwing it away. She told me now she'd been lying. She was drinking it. It's gotten me very depressed, almost suicidal.

The only things I feel are stopping me are my best friend Alyssa and the fact that it'd end up with another bill for my family from a funeral. I just don't know what to do. It hurts so much to know she's been lying. I was so proud of her...

My mother was an alcoholic also, except she never quit. Back then in the old days things weren't talked about, so we, as children, were groomed to keep quiet.

My Daddy was a sweet man, though. He would sneak my brother and I out once a week to a local Alateen meeting. Mom thought we were going to help ourselves with our own problems (I was maybe 11 or 12). Didn't matter, they were great people, and I learned alot!

I hope you find a strong support system, and know there are people out there (and here) who care!


Dee

Hey,

first of all, you gotta remember that this is not by any means your fault. that is first and foremost.

i can hear the immense sadness in your post. i would recommend finding an Al-Anon group in your area, you can search for your local group via the al-anon website. they will certainly help you along in the right direction of finding help for your mom.

do you have any close relatives or mentors whom you can discuss this with? they might be of more immediate help as well...

please remember, stay strong, you have to remember to take care of yourself as well.
Melissa