Daily Check In #4

Hi Striving4Thriving, welcome to psych central. AA wasn't my thing either, but there are other programs out there. There's SMART Recovery, which is a CBT based approach that a lot of my friends use and like. And if you're female there's Women for Sobriety, which is my program that I love. I do think it's easier to stay sober if you have the support of other people and some kind of program.

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Right now my body is screaming for alcohol. I really want to drink. The cause? I dropped the dose, by 20%, of one of my medications that has serious sedative side effects and my CNS is in overdrive in response. I feel like I'm going through alcohol withdrawal, even though I haven't had anything to drink. It sucks.

But I'm not going to drink. First and foremost, I'm still taking antabuse so drinking would be spectacularly stupid and just make me really sick, so there's no way I'd do that.

I'm drinking copious amounts of a herbal tea that's calming, and that's taking the edge off somewhat, but not completely.


I hate that every time I make a med change, my brain goes immediately to alcohol. I had kind of hoped I'd be beyond that at this point.

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Another absolutely horrible day for craving alcohol, I've been going out of my mind wanting to drink. But I've made it through the day, and the liquor stores are now closed and I can't be bothered to clean myself up enough to go to a bar so I'm safe.

I actually resorted to calling some friends and the distress centre to make it through, which is huge for me in terms of new coping strategies. So that's a positive I guess. Didn't resort to si either even though that was also really tempting.

Some days I just hate my life.

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Down to 250mg of phenibut.

I used a lot of xanax the past week because of panic attacks. I had 4-5 panic attacks this week.

I crave morphine... Or something that will make me feel good..

Craving either;

An extra Vyvanse
Methamphetamine
Heroin
MDMA
Ketamine
Cocaine

But mostly I just wish I could cry

Not feeling like this anymore. I exercised today for 2 hours. Feeling a little better.

Didn't take any benzo yesterday or today and down to 250mg of phenibut...

Finished off my stash of oxy this morning. Like I said, that means I'm stopping. I already feel like ****. I'm isolating so I don't freak out at people. I know I could get a rx for suboxone or something or other, but I'd rather not. Kinda trying to keep this as much as a secret as I can. Letting the group I go to know and that's all I think I'll need.
******mit I've never craved something like this before.

((((((((spikes))))))))

Hang in there!

Honestly thought I wouldn't have withdrawals because my usage wasn't "that bad." Boy, was I wrong. Had about two hours of sleep last night and woke up in Hell. First f'king thing I thought about was oxy and almost started crying when I realized I was out and done. I know it's for the better, and I know I shouldn't do this, but I'm seriously thinking of asking my very few friends if they know anyone selling. Not going to. I would hope they are good enough friends to not tell me anyways. But damn this sucks.

spikes,

Hang in there. I've heard opiate withdrawal is awful, but you'll get through it, and come out on the other side stronger.

Will be sending good thoughts into the universe for you.

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250mg phenibut still. Not benzo dependent anymore.

I'm horribly addicted to nicotine gum though

Don't know where else to post. Having the most intense cravings today. My boyfriend had a brush with my drug of choice today and its like its so close.

Hang in there Nitrous!

In 2020, I began year 4 of zero alcohol. I was a serious alcoholic. I gotta do something quick tho, cuz I've been missing alcohol, purely for comfort. I'm so lonely living in this state. Alcohol always comforted my loneliness. Strange right? Cuz I preferred drinking completely alone. Nothing makes sense..

Not sure what meetings are like in your location, but there's always AA. Even if you don't completely buy the steps it's great for meeting other people who are working on sobriety and for fellowship.

If AA's not your thing, check out SMART recovery. They're totally different and based on cognitive behavioural therapy principles. I have a lot of friends who attend SMART recovery meetings and really them.

And sorry - don't know your gender but if you're female, Women for Sobriety is a great program.

Personally I've always felt better in my recovery when I'm in a community of like minded individuals.

spitimage

150mg of phenibut a day.

Taking a 0.5mg alprazolam to relax every evening though.

Today is day 1 sober - Just meds.

I've decided to just take meds as prescribed. I just had a urine test.. I hope nothing bad shows up in it.

I'm in the hospital for dp/dr panic attacks and psychosis.

Strong cravings continue. A major trigger has come back into my life. I've been feeling dark, and i want to use

Don't use.. You are loved.. If you do, make sure you don't OD from lower tolerance...

It will be ok the longer you don't use <3

Thanks, I needed to hear that. I won't use, I've been using my coping skills. It helps to talk about the dark thoughts, you know?

It does help to open up - That's why they want to use MDMA-talk psychotherapy for trauma - Not because of the MDMA itself, but because it allows people to open up to their therapists.

Many addicts have trauma and that's why we use.



This addiction music video gives me the chills and makes me tear up every time I watch it...

If you need anyone to talk to I'm always here =]

Thats really interesting, I haven't heard about that. I talk to my therapist tomorrow, it will be very good for me.

Get some suboxone if you cannot do it.

One thing at a time.

Craving what, Nitroid?