[splitimage]

I;ve been debating this for some time now. I really like my sponsor and she's been incredibly supportive through my various relapses. She even let me stay over at her house one time when I was detoxing and it wasn't safe for me to stay on my own.

The thing is, she has big time mental health issues of her own and now is continually down. She and her husband are also under considerable financial strain at the moment due to insecurities around his job. Whenever we talk, I feel like I'm the one giving support. I don't mind a little role reversal because I think every relationship has give and take in it, but it's starting to drag me down. I also know she doesn't really work the steps herself so she really can't help me work them & frankly I need some direction. I'm ok on my own up to a point, but I really believe that if I'm going to have solid sobriety, for a change, i need to be really working the steps and because I'm a procrastinator I need someone who will help me stay on track.

I'd just feel bad about firing her, because it feels like kicking a dog whose down. And i know she means really well, she's just not a strong sponsor.

--splitimage

[Lenny]

This is a selfish program splitimage.

Our sobriety MUST come first.

If your present sponser has achieved sobriety she will understand your need to move on. The program is distinctively about change and we do...and when we do we often find ourselves growing out of and into people...

Do what you must for you...

IMHO.

Lenny

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( splitimage ))))))))

[Raynaadi]

Split, I agree with Lenny. Its your sobriety, and any sponsor understands that. Its tough to feel like you're letting someone down, but if you move on, you'll not only help yourself, but she might realize she needs to kick things in to high gear. Its easy to get complacent with the steps, and a lot of times it takes something like this to make us realize we're not working it as hard as we should be.

[StarPonysMama]

((((SPLITIMAGE)))))) Look out for #1. It's what we have to do.

I haven't had the experience with A.A........I've chose to go this on my own but, I certainly know I've had to loose a lot of friends over giving up alcohol.

It may get her to make some changes in her life too so it may benefit you both. If she spirals downward, well, then, just be grateful that you were not there to go down with her. I kinda hate to say that because it sounds cruel but, if you have come so far, why stay in something that may throw you backwards?????

I certainly understand where your coming from though. You're a compassionate person and you should pat yourself on the back.

[hopenfaith]

i think it may be a good idea to get a new sponcer b/c this is a selfish program & in order to be a sponcer u must be actively working the 12 steps & have at least a year clean & sober! you can still be there for her & what she's going through but, your definately right she'll eventually bring u down b/c u need help as well! i am also in the process of looking for a sponcer. i don't have one at all right now. i wish u luck on finding one & i hope i find one as well!
~hopenfaith~