[RozG]

guess i'm just showing these days what i'm really worth. i stayed clean and dry for my kids for 10 years...no need now. and yes i'm failing miserably. 3 or 4 days without anything then i just think...to hell with it...EVERYBODY in this crummy hood does drink/drugs to stay sane...what's so special about me? no point aiming above what i'm really worth right?

sorry all...i just hope y'all see you are ALL worth more than that really.

[MINIME]

Hey...........((HUG)) please be nice to you. I like all of u and I want u to be safe. Alcohol can make things harder. So be careful.

[reddevil]

You are worth more than that Roz.

There is a need... it's you.

[Lenny]

One of the unjust realities of "our" disease Roz,,is that in the end there is really not much anyone can do for us. And often when they do, it can be counter productive,,by enabling this disease a few more precious days to kill us.

I have read your words Roz,,and you have a great sense of value and worth..you cannot give what you don't have and you share these characteristics to most of the folks you type too..

You know your worth it...the people who love you know your worth it along with many people who have been Graced with your attention.

That's not the problem here.

You have an addiction that is more powerfull than you. You will not be able to fix it yourself.

When you accept this,,,things will begin to change.

Not a moment before.

With deepest care,

Lenny

[I_WMD]

Roz I will post here as you may read mail pms' also ,, But just to share with others ... If I may .

Went on drive ,, made a call ,, got voicemail ,, Turned around ,, made a decision to not throw away what I truley wish for ...

Take care . xoxox.

[RozG]

Originally Posted by I_WMD

Roz I will post here as you may read mail pms' also ,, But just to share with others ... If I may .

Went on drive ,, made a call ,, got voicemail ,, Turned around ,, made a decision to not throw away what I truley wish for ...

Take care . xoxox.

truly glad you made a great decision for you.

for me though ...a screw up as always

really glad for you though ((((corky))))

[RozG]

Originally Posted by MINIME

Hey...........((HUG)) please be nice to you. I like all of u and I want u to be safe. Alcohol can make things harder. So be careful.

((((((((Minime)))))))) thank you for caring, i'll be careful.

[RozG]

Originally Posted by reddevil

You are worth more than that Roz.

There is a need... it's you.

((((((red))))) guess i'm the only one who doesn't believe that but ty for caring

[RozG]

Originally Posted by Lenny

One of the unjust realities of "our" disease Roz,,is that in the end there is really not much anyone can do for us. And often when they do, it can be counter productive,,by enabling this disease a few more precious days to kill us.

I have read your words Roz,,and you have a great sense of value and worth..you cannot give what you don't have and you share these characteristics to most of the folks you type too..

You know your worth it...the people who love you know your worth it along with many people who have been Graced with your attention.

That's not the problem here.

You have an addiction that is more powerfull than you. You will not be able to fix it yourself.

When you accept this,,,things will begin to change.

Not a moment before.

With deepest care,

Lenny

((((((Lenny))))) i have always respected and appreciated yours words.

the truth is i stayed clean and dry for 10 years without professional help but...i had my kids as a reason...now i have no reason. what reason can be more powerful than the love of children? i feel i no longer have any worth and the love and care i give to others is minimal and nothing that another could not do equally or better.

but thank you so much for caring enough to reply.

[Lenny]

[quote=RozG;813670
the truth is i stayed clean and dry for 10 years without professional help but...i had my kids as a reason...now i have no reason. what reason can be more powerful than the love of children? [/quote]

I have no doubt Roz that you stayed clean and "dry" for 10 years and that your love for your children was powerfull. Do you still love them?..I'm sure they love you. I'm confused...Because the task of raising them is concluded..the love is over?

Our adddictions are seldom events. They are processes and exactly where the "tipping point" is in each person's life is hard to indentify but somewhere along the line it went from use to abuse. When we use we have some control,,when we abuse,,it has control.

Admitting our powerlessness over whatever substance is definning us is the one crisp thought that can change our very existence. I certainly don't know the aspects of your use of alcohol Roz...only you know its power over you. But if it is number one and all other things sit and wait until it is satisfied,,it is unlikely that "reasons" will be enough to steal its power.

IMHO.

With care,

Lenny

[splitimage]

Roz,

This is your disease talking not you. Your addiction wants you to continue to feed it, so it helps you make up reasons / excuses to use. But until you stop drinking you'll never truly feel better. But once you stop drinking your life can get better. It won't happen overnight or be easy. Once I finally stopped I was in a fog for about 6 months but then I started to feel better about myself and things.

But Lenny's right, it wasn't until I admitted that I was completely powerless over my addiction that I was ready to get help - that admission came when I was in the ER on Christmas day 2006 wired up to a bunch of machines that kept beeping because none of my vital signs were normal. I was shaking so badly that I couldn't even hold the pills they were giving me - the nurse had to feed them to me. I came very close to having a heart attack or stroke. That's where alcohol took me. That's also when I decided that I wanted to live and would do anything to stop drinking. I entered treatment in early January 07 and it's been a long and hard road to recovery but it's so worth it.

Roz you've shown yourself as a very caring person on this site, and I hate to see you hurting, and hurting yourself. Only you can make the decision, but I wish you'd consider treatment and stopping feeding your addiction. Once you're out of the cycle you'll be able to start to see what a good person you are.

--splitimage

[RozG]

Originally Posted by Lenny

I have no doubt Roz that you stayed clean and "dry" for 10 years and that your love for your children was powerfull. Do you still love them?..I'm sure they love you. I'm confused...Because the task of raising them is concluded..the love is over?

Our adddictions are seldom events. They are processes and exactly where the "tipping point" is in each person's life is hard to indentify but somewhere along the line it went from use to abuse. When we use we have some control,,when we abuse,,it has control.

Admitting our powerlessness over whatever substance is definning us is the one crisp thought that can change our very existence. I certainly don't know the aspects of your use of alcohol Roz...only you know its power over you. But if it is number one and all other things sit and wait until it is satisfied,,it is unlikely that "reasons" will be enough to steal its power.

IMHO.

With care,

Lenny

Lenny...

Thank You for taking the time to reply again. I have read your words and will think on them...just not in a good place to reply atm, but please know i am grateful for your input.

roz

[RozG]

((((((((split))))))))

Please don't take this the wrong way coz you know i respect you and always appreciate your time and words but...i feel i started drinking again in the first place because i feel useless and worthless.

But i will think of going back to my social worker and getting another alcohol counselling appointment as i blew the first one and am doing crap atm.

Thanx again for all your effort andsupport, it is much appreciated

Originally Posted by splitimage

Roz,

This is your disease talking not you. Your addiction wants you to continue to feed it, so it helps you make up reasons / excuses to use. But until you stop drinking you'll never truly feel better. But once you stop drinking your life can get better. It won't happen overnight or be easy. Once I finally stopped I was in a fog for about 6 months but then I started to feel better about myself and things.

But Lenny's right, it wasn't until I admitted that I was completely powerless over my addiction that I was ready to get help - that admission came when I was in the ER on Christmas day 2006 wired up to a bunch of machines that kept beeping because none of my vital signs were normal. I was shaking so badly that I couldn't even hold the pills they were giving me - the nurse had to feed them to me. I came very close to having a heart attack or stroke. That's where alcohol took me. That's also when I decided that I wanted to live and would do anything to stop drinking. I entered treatment in early January 07 and it's been a long and hard road to recovery but it's so worth it.

Roz you've shown yourself as a very caring person on this site, and I hate to see you hurting, and hurting yourself. Only you can make the decision, but I wish you'd consider treatment and stopping feeding your addiction. Once you're out of the cycle you'll be able to start to see what a good person you are.

--splitimage