this is for nicoleB, downsolong, and emmy, maybe some others, but i forget.

i know i said i wouldn't drink, and i didn't..last nite, but this morning temptation took over. it was fun while it lasted, but it only lasted about a half hour. errrg. then my headache came back. anyway, sorry guys..one of those things i felt i had to do but probably didn't. i've been up to a lot of no good lately and i need to slow down. see you in chat later? well ima do my class work, b/c i skipped yesterday i'm twice as far behind as i have been, and i was really behind. see you all later. ty.

Well, don't beat yourself up. You can decide to begin on day one again if you want. I know it's not easy. It's sure not easy alone, so I'm glad you are posting about it. Telling people in your 3D life makes it easier, IMHO. Do your friends know you are trying to quit? I fergit.....have you tried group meetings of any kind?

emmy

ty emmy
yeah, i don't really say anything about it, but recently an ex bf of mine came back to visit and thinks it's really getting to be a problem. and me being me, i'm always in denial of everything and i never think i have problems so i just blew him off. but my friends, they want me to quit, i just don't want to quit. right now, my only motivation is to get these people off my back. but even that doesn't matter to me half the time. but, i tend to stay out of groups. when i was in T (for si, not this) i was half forced into a group and i did not like it at all. i wouldn't be able to go to any kind of group anyway w/o my mom finding out something or other, and that won't be pretty. b/c jeez, i'm only 16. ty for your words.
-me

[vulnerome]

Hmmm - have never been in group therapy, but have my doubts about it - especially if you are reluctant. Certainly as regards an addiction like alcoholism it seems a bit dodgy - I know I'd be go for a drink afterwards if anybody offered & could quite possibly be the instigator of a session.

How often do you drink (a question for you, not for me). Whatever it is, try to double the time without going for a drink for a time. If you only drink occasionally, but binge, try to halve the time that you binge in - ie, if you usually binge for 4 hours, start 2 hours later. Either way, line your stomach with solid food - protein & carbs & drink lots of water.

You are only 16 - if you can cut down now you are sailing & can continue to enjoy a drink for the rest of your life - continue & you are faced with the hell of abstinence or the hell of a drink sodden life & a drink sodden liver.

Irene

XXXX

i have got to quit. seriously. but i don't feel i can. the temptation is too strong and i am very weak. i don't eat enough as it is, and i don't see how it is my body can stand to take all this. i know i'm really self destructive, so i think i'm testing myself. but i gotta stop. it's not making me feel too good and it's not doing anything good for me anyway. just keepin those who care updated. ty.
-me

[itsjustme111]

Sleepy, don't beat urself up. I am so sorry. We talked in chat and I didn't realize that u are struggling with this.

I did not mean to sound insensitive and I am sorry. I just wanted you to put down that bottle. Thats why I said, dump that junk down the drain. Not that easy, I know.

I hope you feel better. Please be careful with that stuff. From the sounds of it, in chat, you need some help with this. I want you to wake up dear. (hope you know what I mean).

I want to say sorry again. I feel really bad. Just give me a slap okay. I truly hope I didn't hurt u. Let us know how you are later, please. Sending you (((((((hugs)))))) and hopes of recovery from this soon.

Justy

it's okay justy
i feel like i'm exaggerating this anyway. i mean, all i want is a drink, so what if i get drunk and pass out? so what if i can't remember the past 2 months? i just feel like i'm making a bigger deal out of it than i should. but this bottle is almost gone, and since i'm 16 i don't know when i'd get more. i could just call my friend i got this from. but you wouldn't like that. no one would but me.

anyway, it's okay. it takes a lot more than that to hurt me. you were just having a good day it seems and i'm happy for you. i'm off to bed now, school in 3 hours. yikes. thanks for the hugs. ((((((((((((justy)))))))))))))
-me

[vulnerome]

I am pretty sure you are not exaggerating Babes, and you are right to make a big deal out of it - alcoholism is a scary place. It is really hard to resist, but please please try to find that strength.

((((((((((sleepy head))))))))

Well, jeepers. Ya know Sleepy, I don't know a thing about teens. Not a thing. I was one once, but that's about it. So me giving advice to a teen seems sorta lame. But the best I can do is pretend you are 30. If you were 30 and behaving this way, I'd say - hey, you know you are obviously an alcoholic, right? And you know that just won't "go away", right? It's a life long disorder. And the best part is if you keep drinking, it just gets worse and worse. You drink more, and more frequently. Drinking to the point of passing out means you that are damanging your brain, and the damange is permanent. So, each time you drink, you're getting dumber and dumber. Great, eh?

Sorry for the lecture...well, not really. You have to take what you are doing seriously, because you are poisoning your body - that's why you are passing out.

If you won't talk to your parents, my suggestion is to talk to someone at your school. Find a social worker, or teacher you trust. You need to get some help with this cause if you keep it up, it will be only that much harder to quit. You've the "bug" for alcohol and it's bad news. Please oh please stay away from drugs, cause chances are you will find them extremely addictive too.

End of lecture. Please know I'm only going on like this cuz I care. I've seen too many lives ruined. I'm about to loose someone I love very much to the effects of alcohol. I wish he had stopped when he was your age.

Old Auntie Emmy

[NicoleB]

Hey Sleepy,
Sorry I took so long to post, I jsut saw this today. Don't beat yourself up, it just makes it a lot harder to say no the next time. I struggle with alcohol also. I have not drank in 8 days and trust me it is very hard. I still struggle with if I am an alcoholic. I was sober for 3 years at one point, I think that is what I did wrong. I just said I was alcoholic because it was expected, but I never truly admitted it to myself. I still don't know if I am or not, but I am going to find out and that is what you need to do sleepy. You need to find out if you are an alcoholic or not. Sorry I can't really help you anymore than this, because I still am searching for my own answers. What I do know is that if I don't pick up the drink I dont get drunk, which gives me a clear mind to figure out my questions and answers.
Nicole

Please come back and post....I promise no more lectures!

Sober or not, I want you here. (((Sleepy Head!!)))

emmy

okay, i can't drink now. i finally made the decision to get rid of it all. i put it in a water bottle and gave it to someone at school, another kid. he can screw up his life. my mom already has CPS tracking her, long story. so it's gone now, and i'm sad. no more drinks. the only opportunity i have is to call my friend and get him to get me some. i'll try not to be so desperate. i have had the worst headache for the past 2 days though. errrg. anyway, i had my last shots this morning, with half a bottle of motrin for the headache. heh. i'm hopeless. but my ex-bf is real happy, and so are a lot of other people. i'm the only one that feels like i'm losing something really important.

it's so sad to see my liquid friend go. thanks for saying hi, nicole. my mind is trying to clear up too, but i just lost the past few months so it's probably a lost cause. anyway, back to school work. wasn't allowed online last nite, so i have to do this in class. hehe. ttyl hopefully in chat.
-me

[NicoleB]

Good for you! I know it is hard to get rid of your "liquid friend". I am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too. I know easier said then done right, but at least work at it.

Nicole

[itsjustme111]

Hey look at this!!! GOOD JOB!! Very proud of you.

I know that must have been soooo hard, but you did the right thing for you. Don't call this friend, I know you can do it.

I have to say how sorry I am, I had no idea that you are 16. Not that it makes a difference. Just felt really sad for you that you are going through this at such a young age.

No, you have not failed; there is a million more things that can work, just have to find them. I think you are so amazing. You may not see this right now, but wow, you are a strong person who deserves more then feeling like crud.

So really, you don't need your false liquid friend cause you have true friends here that really care and will support you anyway we can.

Take care, keep posting. We want to know what's happening. And if you take a step back, this is okay, there will be many steps forward.

Lots of (((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))) (your doing great)

Justy

ty justy. good to hear from you. hope all is well with you.

i don't think i will call my friend, we're both already in trouble for seeing each other. very long story, doesn't help that he's 25 and i'm 16. even without him around, i'm looking in to other options. other than a few parties being around that i'm invited to or i'd crash anyway, i always have my options. for me, if i'm not being self destructive one way, it's another. the last time i had a drink, and that was tuesday (wow, that seems like a long time w/o a drink) i cut that nite, not that this is the right forum for that. but i have my ways.

anyway, i am making new friends at school though, not that these are any better than the last ones. my old friends all smoked and drank a little on the side. all my new friends are into drugs. heh, good for me. i know. i'm hopeless.

ty for the hugs (((((((((((((((((justy)))))))))))))))))))
hope you're doing good too

-me

[shadowalker164]

Sleepy Head…
Yea, I guess almost every drunk has been in the boat you find yourself in. It’s a tough place to be. Telling myself that I ain’t gonna drink today was a little like telling myself that I can stop diarrhea by the force of my will alone.

Early on the recovery path we are on our own, no power greater than ourselves in tow, it is hard going. Early in my sobriety they used to ask me all the time “you got a back bone of a wish bone?” But I was in an AA meeting when they said that to me. And they asked me to keep coming back.
The long and short of it is we stay sick all by our selves, alone and in secret, and we get well together in the sunlight of the spirit.

The message contained in AA is an odd one, it seems that it can only be clearly heard by the truly desperate. If you think you can take another run at that drinking crap, you will. The idea that you might have called this a little too soon, you know, maybe been a little hasty in your diagnosis, that idea has to be smashed.

Barring major organ failure, or of course in a car wreck, you may find yourself willing. That happy day can happen as soon as you say so. But no matter wither that good day comes now or years from now, don’t kid yourself about what you are facing. Drinking quit being fun a long time ago. You wouldn’t be trying to quit if it were still fun.

And here is the bad part, That crap that’s eating your lunch ain’t never gonna give you up easy. And you ain’t gonna walk away from it without a fight either. You and your addiction understand each other very very well. There is a very good chance that all by yourself, you don’t have the power to say no and to make it stick. You may be battling a disease that only a spiritual experience will defeat.

If you aren’t willing to go to any lengths right now, and if you are lucky and don’t die, someday you will be. Active alcoholism will never get better over time, it only gets worse. And I mean a lot worse. You will call this stuff you’re going through at this time in your life the good old days a year from now. It will never let you go.

Make your way to an AA meeting today.
Find the winners around the tables, and stick close to them. Find out what they are doing and what they’ve got, and ask yourself one question, do you want it? If so, get a sponsor and work the steps.

Shadowalker164