Motivation...

I need motivation.

To not drink, no... I'm actually doing well on that front. I've only wanted to drink when I've been stressed out... unfortunately this time of year is BAD for being a student and stressing out... But still haven't drank! It will be 6 months come January 20th that I've stopped drinking (yay)

But I need motivation... to actually go to the silly AA meetings. Failing that, to go to a CODA meeting or an Al-Anon meeting. I'm not liking the fact that the woman who seems to have appointed herself my "sponsor" (I DISLIKE HER) refound my phone number and has called two days in a row. I'd phone her back, but the number is withheld, and i delete it before the message finishes... I know, Im stupid.

So I need motivation. There is a bus strike happening right now for me, so I cant actually get to a meeting ... but I should really start again come the new year.

Or failing that... I need someone to bug me about calling one of the women from my "home group" about being my sponsor.

Volunteers?

Stay strong everyone, we can do it!

Hey Christina,

Nice to see you posting around this forum again. Well done on not drinking through the exam stress. I heard about the bus strike from my stepmom who lives in Ottawa, what a pain. And it would have to happen in winter.

I totally get how annoying it can be when someone self appoints themselves as your sponsor. There's one woman here who does it constantly with newcomers. Sigh she means well but...

Having a good sponsor who you click with can make a really big difference, so I'd really think about calling someone you think you'd get along with. Also think about what you need from a sponsor, so that you can discuss that with them early on so that you don't have totally different expectations of each other.

As for getting to meetings. I know sometimes it can be a drag going to them. I find especially in winter that some evenings I'd rather just stay in my nice warm apartment, then go out at night. The thing is I always here something worthwhile at a meeting, and I usually leave feeling better than I did walking in, so I'd really encourage you to start going again.

Whatever happened to the meetings on campus? I seem to recall you thinking that there were going to be some, did it not just happen?

One thing that's been big for me is finally connecting with a group of women my own age, who are all in similar stages of sobriety (between 3 months and 3 years) For a while all the women I knew were a lot older and had been sober for like 15-20 years, so I had trouble relating to them. But now that I've met a younger group and we're all kind of struggling with the same things it's a lot better. I've even joined a Sun. night step study group with a bunch of them, which has turned into my favourite meeting.

But if you need someone ot yell at you to go to meetings, I'll happily fill that role.

--splitimage

It's me again...your friendly "nagger".....

You have a home group you can call and have someone be your sponsor? You haven't done that why? That sounds like a good idea. I agree that going out in the winter is hard...I used to find every excuse not to go to Al-Anon in the winter, but boy did I feel good after....even if I never spoke, just took in others words. You've come so far....I'll poke you so keep it up!!!

The transit strike makes me cry a little bit inside. On the upside, it means I can't go out to get alcohol like I'd like to... on the downside, I'm stuck inside because of my silly wheelchair!

The meetings on campus didn't happen... apparently the only way they *will* is if I can get in contact with the people "organizing" them, and basically take a leading role in running them... not exactly my cup of tea, but thanks for the reminder and I'll try to see about contact info for the guy this week

I need to get to more meetings... honestly, the meeting I was consistently going to - I was the youngest, probably by 8-10 years! (no university students at all... sigh)

I think I'm holing up indoors for the winter. Hybernation!

Thanks for the friendly "shove" ((((((((((splitimage)))))))))))))))) it would make me happy if you would be so willing.

((((((((((cantstopcrying)))))))))))) You're a good poker.

I honestly can't get around and do as much in the winter because of my disability... I mean, I could be dependent on others to get me places, but I'd prefer not to. Can't I just stay indoors until March??

((Christina)))) i dont want to get the word struggling confused.. im struggling over some substance abuse issues right now too and even though i dont consider myself the addict, i woke up this morning in a not so excellent place... at least its pretty infrequent at this point in life for me...

i maintained abstinence at different points in life.. i guess its not true abstinence if i still use tho...

the thing im trying to say is that if you want to stay away from drinking, reach out, like you did today, i will always listen and care

(((((((((((nwtr))))))))))))))) thanks I wish I could reach a level of real "abstinence" but I don't even know what that is... But yeah, I could use a good kick sometimes.

here's something my sponsor said to me once when i was early sober and fighting going to a meeting and getting involved. she said, "if a snowstorm occured, did it ever keep you from somehow getting your booze replenished?"
"well of course not", i said.
that's when i realized that i needed to use the same amount of fierce motivation to stay sober as i did when i needed to drink!
AA saved my life and my sobriety will always come first even over family, money, etc. cause if i'm not sober everything else will be lost anyway.
you're right, we are stronger as a group than as individuals.

(((((Christina86)))))))))))))))))))
As my sister would say never give up
as I told her You can do it
muffy

((Christina))) i was going to post this elsewhere but i realized it fits your thread also, so i hope its ok to drop in here..

ive been thinking about this thing recovery, and the motivation to follow through with it completely... ive heard it said that we all have a cross to bear..

so i came here in the middle of the night, from my moms house, wearing three layers of warm undershirts, wondering when i will ever be able to really break free of the cycle of non health, and i never know when or if i'll have the chance to speak with all of you again...

ive come here to unburden my story because of motivation.. i looked around one day and only heard bad news, only saw tears, only felt pain, and felt time slipping away...

i began to think of all i had accomplished in life, what it amounted to, what i had to take to the unknown when it was my turn to go...

its been said that a person has only their reputation in life and as i counted the deeds of my past i knew in my soul that i had done less than i wanted in this world.. many obstacles had stood in my path...

the tears of children motivated me...

we all carry a burden, our weight, some call it our life calling... sometimes we may need to live long enough to discover what that duty is to be... we must travel and stumble and learn from the mistakes and find truths to share with our fellow travelers and so unburden or packs..

the story of my life, how weak and pitiful it may appear to some, is my gift to my only son.. never give up, and take care of your mom

may you always walk in love ..

Christina wow......I never even knew you had a problem with alcohol....did you tell me back in the day and I just don't remember? Wow congrats hon. I wish I had been here for the start of your journey.

Now for some tough love lol. You said you wanted a push....bet yer not gonna be so happy I'm back now lol.

So.....hmmmmmmm.......getting to meetings when there's a bus strike.......getting to meetings when you're in a whel chair......hmmmmmm......I wonder if you know anyone whith a disability who still gets to a minimum of three meetings a week..........hmmmmmmmm.........maybe a blind girl, even better, a recently blind girl who doesn't take buses or cabs or even van tran yet.......a blindg girl who just learned the cane.......know any of those?

Haha couldn't help the sarcasm. Yeah it totally sucks relying on others fror transport. But, my sobriety is more important than my pride. I have my regular women who come pick me up but in a pinch I've got some good guy friends too. I could even call the hotline to find a ride if necessary. I can't imagine not getting to meetings. For me there's no excuse cuz I want to keep living.

As for the sponsor, I just got a new one about two months ago. I had just sucked my old one dry, and needed another woman whith some real life experience. I never go a day without talking to my sponsor or someone else in the pgram on the phone.

So.......there's my tough love for ya. If I can still get to meetings with my recent disability, so can you my dear.

Congrats on all this, on sobriety. I was shocked when I read your post lol.

Hugs,
Rayna

*hugs* Rayna, your sarcasm makes me laugh. haha.

Tough love, huh? You did good on that! Alright you crazy woman, I'll stop with the excuses, even if I do think mine are pretty good. :P lol.

Now, how do I get rid of those annoying people who insist on trying to help me out when I don't get along with them in AA? Got a woman who is trying to annoy me with her over-sponsoring attitude. :P

I just hate accepting help. I hate asking for it too.

I dont even know if I need AA, or another 12 step program instead...

Bah. this is far too complicated for me!

PS. the reason you didnt know about this is because I only quit drinking in July, after my birthday... someone told me that I "might" have an addictive personality... and unfortunately for me, they're quite right. So I stopped drinking, just to be safe. I've just got a bunch of addictive qualities - self-injury, alcohol, self-destructiveness, co-dependent stuff... the whole bit. So I've been free of self-injury for two years as of February 20th, and free of alcohol for 6 months as of January 20th! Not that I'm counting or anything... teehee.

Love you!

You can have my sarcasm whenever you like LOL. As far as stopping those annoying people at the meetings, just be honest and say I'm ok for now, I'll ask for help if I need it. At least as far as the "disability" stuff oes...I had to tell many people that my medical care was between me and my docs. People in AA like to think they know alot wink. People are only trying to help though, keep that in mind most people in AA do what they do out of love......

christine did u call one of the woman about being your sponser? How about now? Now? How about now? what r u still sitting here reading this for call. Ok how about now????????????
U want me to call and tell those bus people to gt off strike? cus I will and they will listen to me because I am a stranger with no power telling them what to do. Or maybe I can be the medator....yeah ok.
how about now?

Hehehehehehehehehehehehe thats funny. I like it a lot.

Are upi wosjomg upi jam
t asled fpr ,pto

Oops think I was on th wrong keys lol. Nevermind, forgot what I was trying to type. Not drinking, promise.

My computer spells out the screenname m i n i m e......is it MiniMe? I like your sense of humor. Christina, whatdya think? Did you call?