[thunderbear]

Ok. I was on methanphetmine for 5 years. 2 of them was off and on the last 3 were pretty constant everyday use with breaks once or twice a week to sleep and eat. I have been compleatly clean off of it for almost 6 years. I had 2 relapses in the past 8 years. The last one being 5 years ago. My worry is that I have lingering affects from smoking it so much. I'm talkin $200 a day when I was using the most. The past 2 years for some reason I have been feeling "unreal" I guess you could call it. Like detached from people. Dreamlike. I don't know how to describe this feeling really. All I know is sometimes I feel like I have been on a 4 day bender and just ran out of dope. I feel paraniod and paniky and very short nerved. Things just get on my nerves alot easier. I don't know if the prolonged use of meth has caused some sort of brain damage or just caused a mental illness. I tried to talk to my new doctor about it but he was hurried and would'nt even give me a referral to a psych or a gyno. I was seriously pissed. Now I have to wait till the first of February so I can change my primary care physison. That means more of not haveing the treatment I need or meds I need. I am worried that the meth use may have caused somthing worse than a mental illness. Anyone else have this problem?

[damajdancer]

I have never done meth before, mostly just smoking a lot of pot with some other heavier drugs every once in a while. I know how you feel with the unreal and dreamlike feelings. I have episodes where I will be completely disconnected. And I am very sorry you are feeling that. It is hard to cope with. Do you have any regret for doing the meth? That regret usually turns into depression, for me. I hope you can get out of the hole you are in. I have been trying a while myself. And I also hope the doctor stuff works out for you (with out too many troubles).

[madisgram]

can you call your doctor's office and request a psychiatric referral? i believe you will feel better if you can get the referral now. if not, then wait til you change pp.
it's good that you are addressing this. it takes courage to find out the unknown. sometimes the unknown is not as bad as we expect, too. i will wish that for you. hang in there and glad you're not using meth anymore. (it is a dangerous drug). in the meantime, try not to project the outcome. i know, that's easier said than done but do be kind to yourself. you're worth it! look what you've already accomplished by putting down the meth.

[DePressMe]

thunderbear, I was into crack. Meth was not really on the scene before I quit drugs. I had some of the same feeling you are describing but, for the most part, they have gone away. Every now and then the feeling of being unreal or being disoriented will hit me, but not very often. Yes, it sounds like a good idea for you to talk with a doctor. Can you see a psychiatrist?

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by damajdancer

I have never done meth before, mostly just smoking a lot of pot with some other heavier drugs every once in a while. I know how you feel with the unreal and dreamlike feelings. I have episodes where I will be completely disconnected. And I am very sorry you are feeling that. It is hard to cope with. Do you have any regret for doing the meth? That regret usually turns into depression, for me. I hope you can get out of the hole you are in. I have been trying a while myself. And I also hope the doctor stuff works out for you (with out too many troubles).

I do have some regret. Mostly because I was mean to my mother then when I got sober and we started to get our relationship back she passed away. That and I ended up giving my son to my grandmother because I could'nt take care of him. I get him all the time now though. But my regret comes mostly from my actions caused by my drug use.

[I_WMD]

Thunder ,, I read your posts here and the replies ,, I have a bit of a problem sharing my personal account of myself most the time .

But......
I'll describe the * unreal * feeling thing as you call it, this way ; .... Mine is a voice that re-enforces ,, time to disappear ,, .... When IRL stress time gets to the max ,,, I want to get * High * ,, .

It , for me ,, is , the heart racing , body numbing , brain thingys firing off .
I would not say damage may or may not have happened ,,, but the physical changes were more prominent . grinding teeth , rapid weight loss , and the all but invisable veins now . ..

I personally have my moments as to short with people ,, I figure that is/has nothing to do with mental illness or brain damage . I believe that is just observing others and wondering why they ______________ ,,[ insert irritation you feel ATM ].

WMD.

[trixielou]

Originally Posted by DePressMe

thunderbear, I was into crack. Meth was not really on the scene before I quit drugs. I had some of the same feeling you are describing but, for the most part, they have gone away. Every now and then the feeling of being unreal or being disoriented will hit me, but not very often. Yes, it sounds like a good idea for you to talk with a doctor. Can you see a psychiatrist?

i am into crack also. i love the stuff too much. i spent 5 years off of it & started back again i when im not doing it i think about it alot. as for meth ive never done it. my brother has done everything & he tries to tell the difference between a crack high & meth. i dont have a concept of meth high. i used to snort crank in my early 20s when i drank alot but people teel me thats not the same. i can never get a straight answer. used to snort coke but after trying crack i could care less if someone put a line of coke in front of me to snort. i was much happier when i was off of it for that five years. i served the Lord & had an inner joy that doesn come from anything here in this life. i keep praying to God for Him to do whatever He has to for us to quit this awful cycle--then at the same time im like tomorrows payday i hope hubby gets drunk so he'll start callin the dope dealers. thats usually how it works i wait for hubby to get a buzz & he picks up the cell phone & im like Yes i get to do a hit. but lately ive been scheming to get a little for myself while hes at work. ive never felt so conflicted.