[grownupchild]

Well, I'm new here and I guess I have anorexia. No one knows as far as I know anyway. The thing is I know I need help but I don't want help, I want to keep going just a few pounds more....it's always just a few pounds more.

I don't know how to tell anyone, what if people think I'm too fat and shrug it off? I don't think I'd be able to cope with that.

[mrskid]

Welcome Grownupchild to PC. I'm glad you reached out because ED is difficult to talk about and is a secretive thing for most women. I understand what you are going through. I was the same way when I started PC 6 months ago. I wonted help but did not wont to tell any one of the fear of people thinking I was to fat or just shrugging me off. This was a way for me to reach out for help with out my family and friends being alarmed. I found the support and encouragement I need to find help from a trained professional and I hope with time you will find the help you need to but we are all here to support you and answer any questions you may have.

[AngelWolf3]

I agree with mrskid. I also understand about what you mean about being afraid to tell people because you are afraid they will say you are too fat. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Welcome to PC, and I hope that you find help here! It is definitely a great way to get out your feelings, and maybe with support, you will feel eventually like you WANT that help, too. But if not, that is okay, just posting and sharing is good. (I know I am still struggling with all the contradictory feelings too...)

[onlytime]

I definitely know what you mean about feeling like people won't take you seriously. While there are ignorant doctors and therapists out there, anyone with experience treating EDs know that it's NOT about the weight! Someone can be at a healthy weight or even overweight (not saying that you are!) and still have a serious ED! It is the thoughts, emotions and behaviors that are troublesome.

You deserve help, so don't be afraid to ask for it! Good luck!

[grownupchild]

Thank you all for your responses they mean alot. I'm glad I found this place to try and talk about how I'm feeling without people around me knowing.

Both my mum and sister have eating disorders and I just know they will think I'm trying to 'copy' them. The thing is I'm 29 now and have had problems since I was a teenager. But this is the first time really I have been at a low weight. Somehow I've managed to stop binging/purging and I've just stopped eating. But it's got nothing to do with them.

I don't know if that makes any sense.

[cka87]

hey i feel like we are in similar situations. im 25 now and have also struggled since i was in my teens but never sought help.
i worry people wont take me seriously and i want help but yet i don't want it all at the same time. i finally broke down and made an appt with a T about 6 weeks ago and I told myself "okay you dont have to change anything and you dont have to even go back if you dont want but just go once and talk to someone" i know thats not the best attitude for change but it got me thru the therapists door! ultimately its going to be up to you though, you have to want it and you have to work at it. take small steps, sometimes even just thinking about what you could gain if you were free from your Ed or making a list of pros and cons can help.

sorry if none of this makes sense but i do really understand how you feel! i struggle every day with wondering if recovering is what i really want. it helps to just get those feelings out and explore what you're thinking about and get feedback from other people in the same situation.