[Hippie]

Going between being anxious, then feeling calm, then anxious, then paranoid (nobody likes me) and then calm. I hate this feeling(s). What is going on when this happens?
Anyone else feel like their going crazy with feelings going haywire? It's like Im waiting for someone to tell me how to feel!!

[englishteacher]

Hippie - glad to hear from you, but sorry that you are feeling so confused. I feel that way alot, but the calm spots are self-induced - with me trying to self-soothe and rid myself of anxiety.

What are you doing when these feelings go haywire? Can you find something to distract yourself and keep yourself focused on a task? That helps me.

[Hippie]

Yes, distraction. Maybe I'll try to read. I'll go to NPR and listen to David Sedarkis.(Sp?) Ever listen to him, Englishteacher? I'm going to try that.

[englishteacher]

Nope - not familiar with him.

[SWA 1971]

I know I sometimes feel great one minute, & then the next minute, my self-esteem gets low again. I think no one loves me, I don't love them, & think people lie to me, etc. It puts me in a bad mood. I was in therapy from Dec. 2007-Aug. 2009 for anorexia & OCD, but wonder if I need a little therapy again. It might not hurt.

I think distracting yourself is a good idea. What are some other things you like to do, besides what you listed? Do you have a psychologist/therapist?

[michele#3]

Sorry you're feeling this way, Hippie. I do understand. With me it fluctuates between anxiety and depression. In the past I've felt no one liked me either.
Anyway, all I can do is give you a great big cyber hug.

Hello, Hippie. The threshold question is whether you like you? Perhaps you might want to think a bit about that. If you do not like yourself, how does that affect how others view you?

You may choose your values. You choose what must be in your life to make it meaningful. Those are your choices. Do not allow others to define you.

Now go through these distortions again. http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/

Be brutally honest. Do the negatives you perceive about yourself withstand an honest challenge?

What occurs that has you going from calm, to anxious to paranoid? A likely candidate is negative chatter. Bannish negative chatter. It is so destructive and such an impediment to a better life.

Love yourself. Be well.

[Cyran0]

Hippie, I too go between depression and anxiety. In fact, I sometimes have trouble telling them apart. Sometimes I just hurt.

But on a different note, I love David Sedaris! Good choice for a distraction.

Cyran0

[Hippie]

Byz, I just went through the stinkin' thinkin' list again. That is NOT easy. I see my way of coneceptualizing the world written all through the distortions and that in itself could be a distortion. I see "Catastrophize" and actually begin to pant instead of breathing correctly. Can go through that list and pick out most of those traits as illustrating the way that I think.
It's a lot to go there. My T is working with me on these and even in the safety of her office there are times I want to get up and leave. I get disgusted and scared with myself. We're working on autonomy. How to explain this? Okay, because I was not allowed to express an opinon, express myself for so long or risk or did get physically beaten and was just looking to survive from minute to minute my view of what Is real was skewed. Naturally. I generalized (and still unfortunately do) that most of the world population is like what I once encountered even though intellectually I know that's not true. Reflex ily, it still seems that way.
Yeah, I have a lot of work to do and this therapist has been pushing me to see the distortions in my thoughts. I never had this before with my previous therapist who just loaded me up on pills and sent me on my way. My current T is not such a medical model therapist,- more behavioral. It can get downright scary to face all of this.

[englishteacher]

(((((Hippie))))) I struggle so much with distortions too. It's so hard to separate my reflex reaction which is so frequently distorted with reality and I second guess myself constantly. Being aware that I do it is helpful, but painful. It's a ton of work and I find myself obsessing about distortion/reality. I had a therapist 10 years ago who really helped me with this, but now I'm trying to do it on my own (out of necessity - so wish I had a T) Anyway, I just wanted to say, I'm there with you and I will always listen. It's a lot easier to see that distortion in others thinking. PM me anytime and be good to yourself. I think you are an awesome person!

If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things. ~Rene Descartes

[Hippie]

Originally Posted by Cyran0

Hippie, I too go between depression and anxiety. In fact, I sometimes have trouble telling them apart. Sometimes I just hurt.

But on a different note, I love David Sedaris! Good choice for a distraction.

Cyran0

Thank you for spelling David Sedaris' name correctly. I tend to make up my own spellings as I go along.

[englishteacher]

Lol Hippie - that's what spellcheck is for! At least that's what I tell my students.

How are you doing, Hippie?

[Hippie]

Good Byz. Rereading cognitive distortion. Have to process all. Takes time with my brain. I'll get there.

[valfor]

(((((Hippie)))))