help help! aging worries me too much

I am so terrified of everything right now.

The people on this board are wonderful and probably sick of me right now.

I can't go on with my life knowing that my beauty is going, my body gets older, and my youth is gone, and time passes

I am so OVERWHELMED with these thoughts and feelings

I keep having these triggers of memory of my past and anything sets me off
and I want to go back in time because the present is terrible and the future sucks

I won't be able to get over this

I fear I will never accept these realities and never be able to focus and concentrate or anything

I understand that you're scared of getting old... but it doesn't HAVE to be a bad thing. I think with age we realise what's important in life. I think often times it's the later years in life that we REALLY enjoy ourselves and find peace.

Oh and who says your beauty is going? Who says only 18 year olds are beautiful? What isn't beautiful about a woman of 80 or even 100? Beauty is in who we are as people, and that is something you take with you through the whole of your life. I think with age we become wiser, we learn what and who is important in life... I think that is something to look forward to.

I do understand that you're struggling with this anxiety and I have read your reasons too, and they're valid... but you're spending so much time worrying about the future, are you really making the most of the present? There's so much fun to be had (sorry I must sound annoyingly positive here lol I'm having a good day).

I'm gonna look for an email fwd I recieved once, it always cheers me up about aging.

thankd, your post was helpful

i do live but my mind is not there in the present and i don't know how to achieve that

Beautiful Women

Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.

Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can't go to school looking like this!)

Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly"- but decides she's going out anyway.

Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's going out anyway.

Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "clean" and goes out anyway.

Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes wherever she wants to go.

Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.

Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life.

Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.

Are you receiving professional help, feary?

living in the moment (the present) is actually an old concept, and one that I try to live by. Sure, there are regrets of past things that I didn't do, that I didn't do correctly, or did even though they were wrong.

now, being in my 50s, I look for times that I can laugh. So much of my past has had worry and pain and abuse, that I actually LOOK for something funny to break up my day. watching Americas Funniest Videos are great, and they lift you up out of yourself and you find yourself laughing a great deal watching the antics of those on the videos that are sent in. And, I look for laughter in my daughter, who is 14. She is a fun kid, and she thinks things are uproariously funny, even those things that happen to her. She has great self confidence, and enjoys life to the fullest. She is great at lifting me out of my doldrums and gets me to laughing. It is wonderful to laugh with her...she keeps me young.

sure, im older, but that doesnt have to be how i view the world. i dont FEEL old, and don't feel that life is over, in fact, i find that life is just beginning. i plan on living for quite a few years yet. i am not giving up just because i am growing older. i enjoy being 55, and truth be told, i find that having my daughter keeps me from being my true age.

i know if i can learn to laugh, you can learn to laugh. you can learn to take a moment, and turn it into a moment to learn from. look for humor in the walk of life, like children playing on the gym set, or children interacting with dogs or other animals, or go visit a children's hospital and see their courage and zest for life that they have despite their illnesses.

Plan to laugh, plan to play, plan to have a good time, despite the circumstances. you will find things to smile about, things to enjoy, things that will take your breath away if you let them.

i hope this helps. i have had my own painful moments of being unbearably sad and distant and feeling as though i could never be in the moment ever again. i began to doubt my sanity, and was depressed, angry and anxious. thankfully, today my outlook has changed. i don't look to the future any more with the angst of before, because i can't change what is going to happen. and i don't look back on past regrets because they are over with and do nothing to help me live for today.

i hope that you will find some measure of acceptance and life in what i shared. you can change your life, and be at peace with yourself, regardless how old you are.

peace,

Yahna

Couldn't happen feary. We help each other and in so doing (I hope) manage to also help ourselves. I'm glad you're posting what's on your mind.

I've always hated how I look so I don't feel I have much to lose but I also know this can be a very different experience for men. That and so many people here have already offered great advice. So I'll just say I'm sorry you're hurting and that I agree with those who say beauty is more than a youthful appearance.

Cyran0

aging can suck especially when your health gets affected. I'm 42 and I am having earing aids fitted tomorrow, getting a sleep apnea machine on monday, but you have to embrace it, which can be hard when you have a hard time accepting it. hang in there,

Quote:

Originally Posted by feary I am so terrified of everything right now.

Oh, Feary!

No one on this website will ever get sick of you or what you say. Everyone here has their own problems and empathizes with others who have theirs, like you. So you can, and should!, keep posting and letting us know how it goes from day to day.

I don't know your age, but I'm a senior citizen myself, with social security and medicare and all the other merit badges. So's my wife, who's even older than I am, and we've been together for 40 years. I've known many, many women who age beautifully, slowly, over the years, each line and crease evidencing more and more wisdom about this life. You've seen pictures of Georgia O'Keefe in her later days? If not, take a look. Talk about beautiful. The older Georgia O'Keefe was beautiful. So were my grandmothers when I was very young. The wisdom of age IS beautiful, and you can't help but learn if you survive very far. I don't know why it is, but aged women are more beautiful than aged men. I think it's something in their eyes. A fuller understanding and acceptance of life. You can do it. You can do it too. Take very good care of yourself, try to calm down, and try to see the value in growing old. It's there if you try to see it. Let's hear from you again and again.

Thank you and I do know that but I just have this strange fear and feelings inside me that will not let me rest.

I think I am just too devastated by my divorce and how it all turned out and now I see nothing but bad things happening in my life so aging and dying worry me a great deal.

I just don't feel secure even for a moment anymore.