[yukisaru77]

Hi I'm new here nice to meet ya all

Just wondering if anyone else gets the way I get.
I am prone to after thinking something, then analysing it as selfish, mean, cruel, evil etc... I end up hating myself and obsessing for days over the thought and what it means about me as a person. I can't find much on it on the internet, does anyone else suffer from this? I have OCD also but this is different to the usual OCD intrusive thoughts. This is more like me judging my own character based on what I think.
It's so bizarre and I want to stop it, if anyone has had any luck with this I'd love some insight!
Thanks all.

to be sure that i understand you, are the thoughts that are "bad" about yourself? i have bad thoughts about myself all the time and i hate it. i just try to change the "subject" and distract myself. xoxo pat p.s. welcome

[(JD)]

Welcome to psychcentral! imo What you are doing is a common cognitive distortion: all or none thinking. You probably see things in black or white categories? If your effort falls short of "perfect" you see yourself as a total failure, this causes a lot of anxiety!

Second guessing ourselves is a bad habit. Now you are even second guessing your thinking! Are you thinking "correctly?" ((((hugs))) Try spending a limited amount of time on something (give yourself a time limit!) Then stop. If the thought comes back, tell yourself STOP. Tell yourself that you already thought about that. Replacing your ongoing dialogue with some good stuff might help too!

Welcome, again! Hope this helps.
"

[Myzen]

Hi Y,

These are indeed part of the OCD cycle of thoughts. I've been there. OCD thoughts come in many ways, and the simple way of spotting them is to ask, "Are these thoughts repetitive and upsetting?" and then "Do they make me feel bad about myself?" If the answers are yes, then it's more OCD.

My own variety of OCD is to remember hurtful comments that have been made to me by others, and then to think that they must have been right about me.

As with all thoughts in this illness, we are stuck in a self harming loop and we need to get out of it. We are judging ourselves as bad and unworthy and looking for evidence to prove it. Instead of this harmful pattern we need to get to truth, which is that no one's perfect, and that we are all just human beings, with all the imperfections that being human entails.

In my experience the worst people to be around are those who think they are perfectly OK and right about everything.It is much better to be aware of some shortcomings, but the OCD illness takes this to the other extreme, making us think that we are definitely not OK. The truth IMHO lies somewhere in between.

OCD is a miserable illness, and no mistake, but it can be reduced significantly with the right approach. It is an illness, it is not you.

Good thoughts and a warm welcome to the forum,

Myzen

welcome to the forums.....i have been battling ocd for the last 30 years......one thing that has helped me in the past with those intrusive thoughts is to write it down on paper and throw it away...sometimes...not all the time....i can remove them from my head to the paper....then tear it up and throw it away....i was on prozac for 15 yrs and it helped alot but the side affects bothered me almost as much as the ocd....i weened myself off of the prozac (not a good idea without a doctors guidance) but although some of the ocd has returned..i feel better overall....if i can be of any help to you...let me know

[jmo531]

I hesitated to reply to this thread at first because I know all to well how you feel. I have OCD among other things but my OCD triggers thoughts of the worst kind in my head. I have had overwhemling feelings of guilt, shame, disgust and sadness over my thoughts. I am currently on medication and see a T and am learning that the thoughts are my OCD not me and as my T likes to put it "Teflon Thoughts". Letting my thoughts come in and let them slide right back out. I still have some thoughts from time to time and they are quite bothersome and distressing, but recently, here on this site, I was reminded of how loving and caring people can be because I had someone to turn too when I was having a hard time. That is the upside. Whenever your having a hard time like this, turn to PC. We are here to help.

I try several things to help me with my thoughts. First of all calming your body is part of it. I drink lots of Tea's. I love herbal tea's and they work. Chamomilie is my favorite. I also drink Sleepy time and Tension tamer. I have 3-4 relaxation CD's. They range from Island sounds to Rainforest showers. I recently discovered that Target has a wonderful selection of these relaxation CD's at a very reasonable price. They range from 4.99 to 9.99. For your thoughts, you have to remember that it is not you, it is your OCD and it tries to drag you down. You have to remember that thoughts are not actions. When your having these thoughts, look around the room. Name 5 things you see, 5 things you hear and 5 things you can touch. I repeat this as much as possible. I also, lay falt on my bed with my arms out. I breath deeply and hold it for 4 secs and breath out for 3 seconds. This helps also relax your body. Putting a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it help, not alway but it helps. I will also transer an object from one hand to another. Whatever you can hold in your hand. I do that soley concentrating on the object and the transference between my hands. I think about my safe place and I go there. I try to recall as much details of my happy place as possible. This keeps my mind on a peaceful place rather then the intrusive thoughts.

I know the guilt you feel. I have lived it and still feel that way at times. Remember, it is not you, it is the OCD. You are a wonderful person. You have gotten some very good suggestion from the others here. I hope your feeling some releif soon. Please post as often as needed. Take care.

Jen

[Myzen]

Hi Jen,

That's some good advice you've given to Yuki.

By the way, the strategies you describe are almost identical to my own coping strategies. I've been doing this stuff for so long that it has become second nature almost. The only think I don't do is the 'rubber band' thing; everything else is the same !

Cheers, M

[jmo531]

Hi Myzen,

We must be old Pro's. LOL.

Love,

Jen

P.S. Sorry for the Hi-Jack

[yukisaru77]

Oh wow thankyou so much everyone who replied! It's a relief to know I'm not alone and to get some back-up and coping advice.
[Sooo sorry I didn't reply sooner, I went on holidays last week and was internet-free.]

To answer Pat, [hi ] I get bad thoughts about myself but the ones that worry me more are ones I have about other people. I hate thinking I'm a meanie! >_<

((((HUGS))) all and thanks for a such a warm welcome, I'm seriously saving this page for all the awesome information on it!!

Also FYI I talked to a counellor about it and she said soemthing insightful, which is that apparently people that are genuinely "bad" don't care about being bad, so the fact we get so darn worried just proves how caring we are! Twisted logic eh??

[Hope4me2]

Yuk,
Just wanted to say your not alone in your thinking...jmo said everything perfectly so I will not even try to match her....I wanted to say WELCOME to PC you will find this place encouraging, supportive and loving....take care and keep posting

[Lexicon78]

Have you tried cognitive behavior therapy? Just a thought.

[misty]

Welcome Lexicon!
lrks

[seeker1950]

Myzen and JMO have given some very good insights.
I've practiced most of the examples they gave here for obsessive thinking. Today, however, driving back from Louisville, Ky, where I visited my twin grandsons, I was suffeing mightily from thinking obsessively. I talked to myself mentally, but, now home, it persisits. It actually started while I was there with the lovely 3 year old twins. I was using nicotine patches to avoid smoking around my daughter and her family, and think these may have triggered it??? Whatever, I'm struggling now, though I ripped the patches off last night.
Despite this little "setback," Yuki, I am doing remarkably well compared to how I was when I joined here about a month ago. I see that I am not alone, and neither are you. The feedback here is insightful and compassionate.
Seeker

[Myzen]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Also FYI I talked to a counellor about it and she said soemthing insightful, which is that apparently people that are genuinely "bad" don't care about being bad, so the fact we get so darn worried just proves how caring we are! Twisted logic eh??

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Exactly right. It almost changes it into a moral issue!

Cheers, M

[MacD]

This may sound simplistic...but it has always worked for me.....I truly relate to what you're feeling....and when I begin to obsess over any issue of "what I did" and "how bad was it"....I remember what my grandmother used to say...."There is nothing new under the sun.....no deed that hasn't been done before and no thought that hasn't been thought"....for some reason that puts it in perspective for me....

[yukisaru77]

augh! I just wrote a big reply and the internet ate it anyway shorter version :P you're all fantastic, thankyou SO much for all the helpful ideas!!!
Seeker ((HUGS)) I'm sorry things went a bit bad for you.. I know the feeling... I hope the forums help me as much as they seem to have helped you though
MacD your words are so wonderful, thankyou from the bottom of my heart for posting them, yet another gem of wisdom I'll keep close when things are looking bleak!

[irish_angel]

Wow, I am so excited to know that I am not alone in this and that tho I thought everyone thought this way... To now know that its not the normal way of thinking..Im still not alone..

I too am OCD and GAD and so many other things lol My whole life has been putting myself down and letting others get the best of me because of my people pleasing needs... Im just learning to do different things thru out the day to make *ME* feel better

Good Luck and take care
Erin