[Estee1]

Why are some types of people so condemning and judgemental? They mean well I think, and want to help, but they make me feel sooo bad for having anxiety and depression. They think that I can pull myself out of the pit that I'm in. Just like going to the dryer and pulling the clothes out. They act like I am only here in this pit because I like it here and want to be here. I feel so bad about myself for being the way that I am. Like it's my choice that I arrived here. I'm confused. I should never tell ppl anything. The people that I would expect to find acceptance from are just plain meanies.

A hug for you down in the pit! I´m there as well! No, we don´t want to be down here! But it´s not up to us to decide...we try as hard as we can to get up from here!
I´m proud of you, Estee1! You´re climbing the ladder!

Your friend
Nina

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS )))))))

Simply said....... one cannot and does not understand unless they have walked in the shoes you wear.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[LMo]

Estee... I'm so sorry you have been judged and misunderstood. I know how that feels ((( estee )))

From the other side of the fence, I can say that they truly have no idea the extent of the internal torment that goes on inside you. How could they? Being judgmental is almost an innate survival skill -- we HAVE to evaluate what we can see and make decisions based on the facts available to us. It unfortunately carries over into a very touchy interpersonal area when dealing with complex inner feelings that aren't readily apparent to an inexperienced outsider.

They just don't know better, Estee. It's nothing personal. They are naive and uneducated. Their condemnation says much more about them than it does about you.

[joyfulg]

I am here with you and I've even tried bringing my family with me to my psychiatriast's appointments because she is very good at explaining-and being blunt with people about how the way they are treated directly corresponds to the way the feel heal and react. But it didn't work. So I am just convinced that people will believe and think what they want to. If we can't find support where we need it, it hurts, but that means we need to find it somewhere else.

[silver_queen]

(((((((((((((( estee )))))))))))))

[JustBen]

It's hard for people to understand what it's really like for you. They've probably experienced "hard times" before, but it's been the kind of stuff that they've been able to just pick themselves up from and walk away. When they see what's happening with you, they think it's the same kind of thing; that's the way it looks to them. They don't realize the difference.

[DaveyJones]

I agree with Ben--most folks just don't understand. I used to be that way--when my ex was having a depressive episodes, I would say stuff like "How you feel is your decision", I may have even said the bootstrap thing (Oh, Lord, please, no!) Within a couple of years, though, it began happening to me. NOW I understand!

So, when someone says those things to you, just smile and say, "Thank You", because they really think they're helping, and then pray "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do"...

DJ

[Myzen]

Hi folks,

I agree with every post so far. This is an issue which affects every one of us with the illness.

At least we have each other!

Good thoughts, M

[Estee1]

I used to think that how you feel is your decision and all that positive lying to yourself stuff. That's what it feels like. Telling yourself all these positive things and looking happy on the outside but underneath feeling so dead and in so much pain. I was kidding myself.
It's just hard when people that I look up to don't understand. Then it makes me question myself and I feel guilty. They are so hard and insensitive sometimes. But when they are like that they start losing my respect, and I am beginning to see them through clear glasses rather than through my rose coloured glasses. They are not so 'all knowing' as I thought they were. I actually understand something that they don't have any idea about. Then I see how narrow minded they really are. I get annoyed when people address a major problem with a simple answer. If that answer doesn't work they conclude that something must be wrong with you.

[Estee1]

PS. What's the bootstrap thing Dave?

[PetulantWolf]

the "just get better" mentality. Like youre doing it on purpose to inconvenience them. Those people tick me off tooo. T

Hint on the bootstraps while waiting for dave - watch the tv show - Little House On The Prairie - and focus on the mens work boots (shoes), particularly Michael Landons (otherwise known as Pa on the show).

[FelineHeart]

Estee, I go through this all the time. People, including my shrink will say some really nasty and insensitive things to me and I will worry about it for days as if there were something terribly wrong with me. I agree. Thank God we have each other here.

[alan1968]

I know how you feel Estee! I am in the same boat! My family just does not get it! I have even gone as far as sending them information on panic attacks and anxiety and they still don't get it! What has become obvious to me is the fact that they never will, unless this tragic disorder took a hold of them. But I don't want that to happen to any member of my family, heck, I would not even wish this on my worst enemy! I am here for you and everyone else who suffers with this problem! You ever want to talk just let me know, and I am here for you!

[Estee1]

Thanks Alan. I can't even begin to talk about this stuff with some of my family. I wouldn't know how. We don't talk about stuff like that. Plus, I am ashamed. I have been given pamphlets on the disorder and haven't been able to give them to my family. Except my mum, but she doesn't understand things. She gets confused and mixes everything that I say up into something that isn't right. One day something is a dog, and the next day it's a turkey, and she completly believes that what she is saying is the facts. Then she gets angry if you tell her that what she is saying is incorrect. She will insist that the turkey was always a turkey. Lol