[unico]

A few years ago I went through a pretty traumatic experience and for years afterward I kept finding out more information about what happened and how severely I was betrayed/lied to, so the bad feelings and anxiety never really eases. As soon as I started to feel better, something new would start crashing down. I've been good about limiting triggers and feel a lot better about the original upsetting situation as long as I'm not triggered. However, I still have bad anxiety and it pops up every day, sometimes for minor situations, sometimes remembering problems with people, and sometimes I don't even know the cause.

I have resorted to taking 1mg Klonopin almost every day (it used to be 3x a day in the spring). Before the upsetting situation happened (though I was diagnosed already with PTSD) I only needed Klonopin maybe once every couple of weeks, at .5mg. I can't afford to regularly see my therapist right now, though I did see her recently. I'm disappointed in myself for not controlling my anxiety better on my own and for relying on medication so much. It's just that other techniques of controlling anxiety often don't work enough. I really want my anxiety to get more under control...

[bigbrat]

Hi Unico,
I understand what your going thou. Somehow, Has painful as it is you need to put that behind you and move on. Even if it means to have no contact with whomever was involved. I had disconnected completely from some family members for years in order to give my kids a better life. The past will only destroy you. If you let it. Think of yourself first and the people in your life that truly love you. Take what ever med for now that makes it easier to deal with, But in all reality you are the one that needs to control the hurt. People that do evil things to you are not people you need in your life. Hope this helps a little. I have just recently started having anxiety attacks in the past 4 months. Never before had i ever had one. It is a very hard thing to deal with. Iam not a person to take any meds. But i had no choice but to seek help and be put on paxil. I dont if this is the answer but iam doing it for now. Just try to dump the extra baggage. Hope this helps you..

[unico]

I haven't talked to the person who I got upset over in years. I've had zero contact and don't allow people to talk about him to me. I just obsess...

[bigbrat]

Unico,
Thanks for the reply. I'm new to this site and don't know how it all works. Trying to figure it out. Hope you are doing better today. Try to think positive. I'm trying that also. Its hard to stay focused on it When people are so augmentative over the little things in life. Peace out. Relax and try to enjoy each day one by one.. bigbrat

[unico]

Unfortunately I had a bad dream last night about this person I've been traumatized by and this day has been hard. I reviewed a Dielectical Behavior Therapy Skills workbook and took some Klonopin. I'm hoping the obsessions go away again, even if the on-edge feeling stays.

[KerriAnn]

Hello Unico,
I can really relate to your situation, the trauma, the PTSD, and the concern about medication. I finally gave in to my doctor and am taking Xanax. I still feel odd about it, and my partner (of 14 years) doesn't even know I take it. That is how at-odds I feel about it. However, I have decided that I need the help. The medication does help keep my mood manageable. If I don't take it, I suffer much more, and so do those around me. Anxiety, PTSD, any mental illness or disorder is just like any other illness. If I were a diabetic, I don't know that I would feel shame around taking insulin. Therefore, I allow myself the relief I deserve from a pain that is not my fault. I hope you too find some relief.

[unico]

Thank you KerriAnn Klonopin does often help me and I do take that, in addition to Zyprexa for Bipolar and obsessions.

[KerriAnn]

Originally Posted by unico

Thank you KerriAnn Klonopin does often help me and I do take that, in addition to Zyprexa for Bipolar and obsessions.

I am glad to hear you are able to use some healthy coping skills to help you get through the tough times. I hope you have peaceful dreams tonight. I will send you some warm thoughts...

[Gently1]

Medication worries:- when first started using Klonopin, I would second guess myself for 3 hours before taking as needed.
My doc said if I suffer 3 hours a day, it will not make the depression recovery happen any faster.
So she prescribed .25 twice a day and I do feel better overall but still anxiety is often part of my day.
I have 25 mg seroquel if my anxiety is over the top and this is where I make sure I have eaten in the last 3 hours, try a soothing activity and if the anxiety is still interfering I take a pill. No judgement- less stress

I have started writing down activites that help me so I have a list handy for ideas, because if the anxiety is sudden, I never remember what has been helpful in the past. A list in the bathroom, office and on the fridge.