[katie80]

Hi. My name is Katie. A little history is that I'm 31 and I've been on disability for anxiety/panic disorder for about 6 years. My dad had it since his 20's so I think it's hereditary. My brother was lucky to have it very much then us.

Anyway, I'm here because I was just wondering if anyone has felt the way I'm feeling now. Which is that I will have months where I'm sort of content (even though I have to live life a little differently than other people), but I'm generally ok. Then what seems like all the sudden I'll have huge bouts of anxiety, stress, major depression and what seems to be obsessing a little over irrational worries. And it could last a few weeks or a month.

I know it will pass, like all emotions do, but I just feel so alone because nobody I know except my dad understands. And I can't talk to him about it really because he just gets upset that I'm upset and he can't help.

I don't know. I'm already sort of isolated with this. And when these waves hit I just feel more alone. Just wanted to see if there were others than feel the same.

[healed84]

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I just wanted to say I can identify with your feelngs of anxiety/depression and irrational worries. I do go for periods of time where I kind of feel fine and then go through the anxious feelings and depression. As a matter of fact there are many people here that can identify. I really hope that you find the support you need here and from other around you.

[katie80]

Thank you for responding. I do appreciate it.

[ur_ladybird]

Originally Posted by katie80

Hi. My name is Katie. A little history is that I'm 31 and I've been on disability for anxiety/panic disorder for about 6 years. My dad had it since his 20's so I think it's hereditary. My brother was lucky to have it very much then us.

Anyway, I'm here because I was just wondering if anyone has felt the way I'm feeling now. Which is that I will have months where I'm sort of content (even though I have to live life a little differently than other people), but I'm generally ok. Then what seems like all the sudden I'll have huge bouts of anxiety, stress, major depression and what seems to be obsessing a little over irrational worries. And it could last a few weeks or a month.

I know it will pass, like all emotions do, but I just feel so alone because nobody I know except my dad understands. And I can't talk to him about it really because he just gets upset that I'm upset and he can't help.

I don't know. I'm already sort of isolated with this. And when these waves hit I just feel more alone. Just wanted to see if there were others than feel the same.

Hi Katie

I can relate very much to how you feel. I used to feel very similar. Like you social anxiety runs in my family. It's learned behaviour and unfortunately I passed it on to my son as well.

I used to have so called good spells for long times, and then something set off the bad spell. After having worked it through things in my head it would be ok again. (unfortunately this bad spell at the moment has stuck with me).

You are not on your own feeling this way. At one stage I took up the guts and started talking to people about the way I felt sometimes, the anxiety coming and hitting me... I was surprised just how many people said... Oh, I have that. It made me feel so much more connected.

[waynec]

Originally Posted by katie80

Hi. My name is Katie. A little history is that I'm 31 and I've been on disability for anxiety/panic disorder for about 6 years. My dad had it since his 20's so I think it's hereditary. My brother was lucky to have it very much then us.

Anyway, I'm here because I was just wondering if anyone has felt the way I'm feeling now. Which is that I will have months where I'm sort of content (even though I have to live life a little differently than other people), but I'm generally ok. Then what seems like all the sudden I'll have huge bouts of anxiety, stress, major depression and what seems to be obsessing a little over irrational worries. And it could last a few weeks or a month.

I know it will pass, like all emotions do, but I just feel so alone because nobody I know except my dad understands. And I can't talk to him about it really because he just gets upset that I'm upset and he can't help.

I don't know. I'm already sort of isolated with this. And when these waves hit I just feel more alone. Just wanted to see if there were others than feel the same.

i, too, will be quite content (in the good sense) for months and then have a bad period, though not nearly as bad as many folks here. i am going through a rough time this month after a good past year. i suspect all of the following:
a lot of family deaths happen in various years including my dad when i was a teen
a friend died this month which brings my mortality into question (at least the coporeal)
my job is in jeporady due to forces outside my control
had a cold for 2+ weeks so cant exercise as much
everytime i feel a little better i push too much and relapse
sleep is off which ALWAYS makes me anxious and exercising usually helps instead of drugs but cant do that
i enjoy my solitude during the day except when i feel like this and i get a tad paranoid

i have taken more as needed baby doses of xanax this week than i usually do in a month.
i have a physical in two weeks so i will get more help if necessary.

i just remind myself there is a purpose for this whether i understand it or not. and that took years to "discover".

[shezbut]

Hi Katie,

to Psych Central!

Have physical causes of the anxiety been ruled out by your doctor? Do you take any meds to control the anxiety regularly?

I've had those times like you described. Horrible times of intense fear. I hated it with a passion! Just reminding myself that I would make it through, that I'd be okay again, helped in general. Challenging myself to "suck it up" and do things anyway also helped. What helped most was seeing a T, talking about things, and becoming frustrated with myself helped most.

Best wishes!

[katie80]

I am on xanax, lowest dosage, I take twice a day. More if I'm going somewhere I know will be really challenging (new places, new people etc.) I don't really know what you mean by physical causes, but my doc says I'm healthy otherwise. I do think it's hereditary as I've heard it can be because me and my brother both grew up with my dad, but I got it just as bad as him, but my brother didn't. And seemed to have come on quite suddenly in my early twenties.

What's really bad is the isolation something like this brings on. I would so much like to have friends, but without being an outgoing person it's really hard. Hard to make friends as an adult anyway. I have friends,but their all online. And I love them, but it's not enough. I mean sometimes you need actual people, friends that you can go places with and talk to on the phone. I don't know, I just feel stuck. I go to school, but I can only take 1 or 2 classes at a time, which is really nice I love to go, but I can't really make friends there because most of them are quite a bit younger than me.

Also, how do you guys deal with meeting people? I mean, it's not easy for people to deal with someone who's so "weird" with the way they have to do things. I mean I know that if someone were to get to know me, I lighten up and I'm worth knowing, but I don't really blame people for being turned off by all the initial **** they have to put up with to get there. It's just not worth it for someone you don't even know yet.

@shezbut, trust me, I'm more frustrated with myself than anyone and I try to "suck it up" and sometimes it does work and other times it just makes me feel more guilty about my limitations. I have tried therapy, but with the insurance I have being on disability, I can't really get anyone who knows anything about my specific condition. Most of them are social workers.

I know there has to be a way out of this, or at least a way to accept it and still have a contented life. I just haven't found it yet.

[starvingformore]

katie, i identify in what seems to be the most exact way. i don't know what triggers it. it just happens. i've found that the only thing that works for me is triggering my adrenal gland before it happens regularly. as long as my adrenaline is up and i can face the challenge then i feel alright. i think i can say that i can identify though... feels like suddenly you're alone, you feel guilty, paranoid, and nothing will ever be okay again? i've been break down free for 7 months now... before it was every month or two i'd have one. i wish you all the luck in the world.

[nmb3001]

Because of my upbringing, I was shy and never really talked to anyone. Now I am college and I feel overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. Your issue is exams my issue is presentations. I believe is you study, remain calm you will do wel,l for me, knowing the material and going over it will help but seeing everyone looking at me drive me crazy.

[more70]

Hi katie! My name is Yvette. Just wanted to let you know I am going through the same exact thing as you. suffering my whole life with anxiety, I have lived different many times, had many bouts of anxiety, depression and horrible panic attacks and times where I felt completely normal. Right now I'm going through it, ugh....but I just got back into therapy, considering medication and I'm reaching out to all I can. I really hope you are too. It helps a lot. And you don't have to feel you are doing it alone because I'm doing it too and feeling the same on the other side of your screen!