Mysophobia

This is my first post here, so I thought I should probably address my most prominent problem, I guess...

I don't really know where to start, but...

I've been dealing with Mysophobia (more commonly known as "Germaphobia,") for two years. I honestly don't know what triggered it, and I don't know if I want to or not. One day, I was my normal self - then the next, I was coating everything with Lysol.

I mean, the first couple of months were horrible because I didn't know what I was doing. Then I guess I got "smarter" about keeping everything sanitary. (I started researching, which was a bad idea on my part.)
I would only wash my hands when I needed to (after using the bathroom, before eating, after chores, etc.) That only lasted for less than a year.

Now, I find myself compulsively washing my hands. I have to wash my hands 3 times in order to make a damn sandwich. My hands are horribly damaged from all the hand washing I've done.
I don't touch my face - and I don't let people stand too close to me. I can't stand going to restaurants, or (obviously) using public bathrooms. Going to school - or in any public place is a hassle for me. And when someone is sick, I do whatever I can to avoid them & the air they breathe. (Pun intended.) & the anxiety that comes along with it? It's just ridiculous.

I know that getting sick is inevitable, yet I continue being controlled by my fear. I try to hold back at times, but then I get anxious - and I hate anxiety attacks - so I let my fear win.

Plus, no one in my family is trying to help me - even when I ask for it. They don't take me seriously - they just poke fun at me for it & call me a nut-case. I embarrass my dad when we go out places (I try to tag along so I don't feel guilty later.) And he always points out how damaged & ugly my hands look, & it makes me feel ashamed. I don't go to school anymore, so the school counselor isn't an option for me. I honestly don't know what it's gonna take for me to get help.

I live in fear of illness, for reasons unknown, every minute of my waking life, and I'm tired of living this way.

I just don't know what to do.

Dear VII,

I can't say I relate to your post as I have never felt in the way you do, but I do understand and hear you very loud and clear asking for help.

First of all, are you or have you in the past seen a professional about this? You say that it came on from one day to another and you don't know why... I think if you would know why, you probably wouldn't ask for help today. You said that your hand washing is compulsive... A psychologist or psychotherapist would most definitely be able to help you make sense of it all.

You are definitely not a nutcase. Did you know that OCD disorders are as common as people having asthma? You are not on your own. My guess is that your family doesn't know how to deal with this... They might have never come accross Mysophobia, and don't know how else to react but defensive. Is there any way you could see your doctor about this?

As for the physical reaction to you having to wash your hands... Would it be able for you to swap normal soap to something which protects your skin at the same time as washing it? I am thinking in the line of some cream for example which I have to use for my hands and body. I have so called hand and foot excema and am using a wash cream instead of soap. It is still doing the job of cleaning my hands hygienically but it moistens my skin at the same time.

By the way, I have an aunt who had exactly the same as you, and even so she is still very particular about hygiene and cleaning, she has gotten to a point to where it doesn't interfere with normal life... It can get better .

Thanks for the reply! I appreciate it a lot.

I haven't been to a professional about this yet - but I plan on doing so as soon as it's available to me.

My dad won't let my buy stuff like that, or Purell, because he thinks it might worsen my habit, I guess. I really don't get why he thinks that,
But I think the next time I get money, I'll go out & buy myself some & tell him that I don't want my hands to fall off.

Yeah, I'm not sure if I can get any worse than I am now, so hopefully it means that I'll only get better.

Thanks! :3

Sounds like your dad is scared to deal with it. I get my cream from my doctor on prescription as it works out cheaper (he puts something like 10 big tubes on the script). Let me know how you are getting on.

Don't be afraid of this. Live your life . you only have one and it is up to you to love every second of your life.

OCD is one of the more easily treatable disorders, it's well worth talking to your doctor about it. There are behavioural therapies that help, as well as some meds. I used to wash my hands obsessively after my son was born, and also when my husband was sick. On both occasions my hands started to bleed, and I realised that far from protecting my loved ones from germs I was actually allowing my hands to become more likely to pick up infection. Then my husband got so poorly he couldn't use the bathroom, and I had to start disimpacting his bowels (with rubber gloves, of course.) It was very hard at first, but I did it because I loved him. I suppose that was an involuntary exposure therapy.

I do still have a tendency to that fear, but it's fightable.

Sometimes it can be the slightest thing which triggers it, but there really are ways around it.

Hmm...could be.

I'm gonna try using a less milder soap - or lotion soap. Or something. XD

Thanks~

I honestly don't know the next time I'll be seeing my doc - but whenever that happens, I'll be sure to bring it up. Usually, I'm just too embarrassed to say anything (even when I know my doctor isn't gonna laugh at me or whatever.)

Wow, that sounds...horrible. I don't think I would've been able to do that, but I don't think I even have the willpower to eat a sandwich without washing my hands first. :/

I hope I can find the ways around it. :] Thanks for replying~

hi, don't know how to reply this, hope i'm not wrong place to rely this
but can i ask u what u mean by wash cream that still doing the job of cleaning but in the same time keep ur skin moist? what name of that product if i may know?

Are you taking medications for your anxiety and OCD. I am on a medication that while it is primarily for anxiety is often prescriped as an anti-obsessive.

You guys know this post is from 4 years ago right?

LOL...too funny!

There isn't anything wrong with being clean or healthy. You just need to find a happy medium. You need to convince yourself that one time of washing your hands is enough. Washing them again will not make them any cleaner. I liked what was said earlier... keep in mind that over-washing is just opening you up to infection. Try thinking about that when you go to wash your hands. It might help you convince yourself to stick with one time. Also, being around people builds up your immunity to fight big illnesses. I would stand away from sick people too, but try to just calm your actions down a little bit. Think of it like volume, take down your obsessions one setting at a time. Baby steps.

Good luck!