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#1
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I've now had two panic attacks just today, after not having any for several months. I'm so freakin' triggered by everything that's been going on here. I hate asking people for help in the first place, even when I have a legitimate need, and all this has pretty much guaranteed that I will never ask anybody for anything ever again.
Please pray or send positive vibes or good karma or whatever it is your belief system allows that I get SSDI. I was told by my worker yesterday that my claim was about finished. I need a good result out of it. I can't work right now, and I can't take my family p*ssing and moaning about having to pay all my bills anymore, and there's not a chance in hell I'm asking any of my friends, online or off, for ANYTHING. I will just send the stupid drs. and hospitals $5 a month till I'm 100 or something. It's bad enough I have to live with my sister now. I feel guilty for eating her food (requiring her to spend more on it) and not contributing to her mortgage payment or utility bills. I feel like the biggest, fattest loser on earth, actually, because I can't really take care of myself anymore, and I have prided myself on doing that for a long, long time. I want to cry, but I can't get it to come out. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
#2
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(((((((((((((((((candybear))))))))))))))
Sending good vibes too you! I hope you are able to get a good nights sleep. When I get stressed out I will take a hot shower and close my eyes and try to visualize when I breathe out that my concerns are going down the drain. Sometimes it really works. HUGS Cher
__________________
[b]If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.[b] -Catherine Aird ![]() |
#3
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Hi Candy,
Two things: Panic attacks often come out after a period of holding ourselves together. This is one of the ironies of the illness. You have done a lot recently, and the key now is to let go of some of that pressure. Your sister offered you 'support'. In my book that doesn't include any form of complaining. This should not be happening! I think if I were in your spot, I would 'play dead'. Just look and act as tired as you I really am, and let the relatives say what they like. You can always vent here at PC. ((((((((((((((((Candy)))))))))))))))))))) Good thoughts, M ![]() |
#4
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I agree with the advice and support above...
I too suffer from multiple attacks in the same day at times and I hear you... Hope you feel better today, if not I'm here with the others... ![]() ![]() ![]() Patricia xx |
#5
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M, aside from one snotty remark that sounded remarkably like something my mother would say, and a couple of comments about my medical bills, my sister has been pretty OK -- she doesn't *expect* me to contribute (aside from picking up around the house and feeding the cats, LOL). I just feel bad for not being able to. Frankly, out of all 4 sibs and my mother, she's been the best about not complaining. So I know when she starts to that it's getting to her, too.
Thank you {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{everyone}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} for the support and ideas. Cher, I hadn't ever heard of your visualization technique, but i love it! I'm going to try it today. ![]() I'm feeling a little better, but will probably still spend most of the day in bed. And then I'll feel guilty about THAT. Anybody got any ideas on how to give myself a break? ![]() Candy |
#6
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Candy, I wish I could help.
![]() I understand about wanting/needing/not wanting to ask for help/not wanting to need help. Damn viscious circle. I want help. I don't want to ask for help. I need help. I'm not going to ask for help. I want help.
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If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space! Rondeau |
#7
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((((((((((((((candybear))))))))))))
Giving yourself a break would be YOU taking the time to relax, do something you enjoy, turn the phone off(which I do quite a bit), sit outside with a book and a cold iced tea. All in all truning the outside world off so you can take sometime for YOU. For me it has been a new hobby of gardening or sitting outside reading. Let me know how the visualization works for you. It really works for me in the shower and then I throw on a comfy pair of jammies and make some hot tea and sit in bed and read. HUGS Cher
__________________
[b]If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.[b] -Catherine Aird ![]() |
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