have to report tomorrow

good morning all.
ahh man my anxiety is starting, its bad. i have to report to my parol officer tomorow . she is going to ask me what i have done in the last 3 weeks. and i will have nothin to say. she is goin to ask me if i found a way to see a doctor yet and i will have to say no. i havent left the house sence the last time i had to report. i am so scared.... to top things off i am dirty. and if i get drug tested i may not pass. i hope water will delute me enough i can pass. if not i will be violated. and sent back to jail. geez i am soo scared i have alredy started to shake.
-telb

telb,

can you tell your parole officer how afraid you are and the problems you have. Its no good them setting you targets that you cant meet. If they maybe understood what was happening they may be able to help you get out and get to a doctor.

Good luck

I really don't know what to say .. but telb ... I can only offer you my support and gentle thoughts.

And yes, good post allthegirls ... I agree.

(((telb)))

last time i went to report. i told her i was depressed. she asked me why?..... my response was somthin like. ummmmm because i dont have my meds. i told i am a very nervouse person and need somthin for my anxiety. but i have no insurance and my family wont put aside 30$ for me to see a doc. it dident come out to smoothly and i was sweating relly bad and shaking. i think she took it as i had somthing to hide. that i was making up an excuse to why i was so nervous. i know tomrrow is goin to be worse then my last visit. im so scared everyone there will see me having an anxiety attack. its not like i can run out the door when one starts. once im there im there tell im let go.
-telb

Is it possible to write down your worries and give them to your parole officer as soon as you go in. Maybe you could print out this thread and take it with you. It seems such a waste to suffer so much when a little communication might help you with this

thnx for your thoughts guys. your are much apreciated.
im thinkin about sayin somthin like. look ruth i havent got out of the house in the last couple mounths. im more depressed then ive ever been b4. i havent worked in over 2 yrs because of this depression. my doc had me disabled for over a year because of it. i need help but i cant seem to find any.
i hope i am able to get all that out. i hate telling ppl i have a problem. it is soo hard for me to admit it. i cant stand to be seen as weak.
thnx again for your support//thoughts
-telb

telb,
I think your words are perfect and if you worry about not being able to say what you want then maybe printing this out and just handing it over when you arrive will make things easier. Im thinking of you

(((((telb)))))

I think going to any PO is like a death sentence! LOL Seriously, though, I am so terrified when I go to mine, even if I haven't done anything wrong.

I've even gone in thinking I'd be really dirty from pot or alcohol and then it would come up clean. Odd, eh?

Well, I'm sending you some clean vibes...wishing you the best of luck on this.

good luck today telb, let us know how you get on