[Gabby21]

I tend to overly worry about so many things. One of the biggest and crippling worry I have right now is if a friend will get super mad at me and leave me completly. Because of this I begun to obsess over her. I feared her leaving and disapearing completly and I still do at times. It has gotten to the point of extreames if she doesn't text me or message me I fear her getting mad at me and leaving me to the extreames. I fear her hating me and blocking me cause she got mad at me. I also do not love me enough sometimes and feel I am being punished and cursed for something that happened to me at the age of around sixteen or seventeen. I just want to get help for this so I can lead a normal life. I also suffer from deppression from the obsessions and highs as well where i am hyper alot. I was recently diagnosed with major deppression disorder.

Hi, it's nice to meet you I hope you are getting some counseling with your diagnosis.
I'm not qualified to diagnose but it sounds like you have some elements of OCD and BPD fear of abandonment. And a lot of anxiety. It isn't unusual to have a bit of this and a bit of that under an umbrella diagnosis of major depression. You aren't cursed. I can tell you that And the only one who could be punishing you is you yourself. I hope you can talk about this thing that happened that causes you such distress.

[Gabby21]

Well with the fear of abandoment I had a girlfriend once I fell for. She was never a good girlfriend to me and I ended up fearing her leaving too and lost my girlfriend that way. I also lost several of my friends because they thought I belonged in a mental institution. Tink even said that to me before, and it hurt. I don't want to fear her leaving me so much, but I do. It cripples me and I have to ask if she mad or not at me. Anyways nice to meet you, George H. I have a therapist appointment the 5th of May for the major deppression disorder. I am also wanting to get on anxiety meds and actual deppression meds. the meds i'm on now are mood stabilizers and I am still getting deppressed. It doesn't help too my sis blocked my friend when I left my facebook on as payback for something she 12 by the way. Now my friend ignoring my messages and no replies to anything i feel lost friend cause sis actions.