[poptart316]

I have really bad social phobia and don't know how to deal with it.

I don't like dealing with people in pretty much all social situations, even one on one situations are bad now, which used to be easy/enjoyable for me... but not anymore!

I keep shuffling the same thoughts over and over in my head... beating myself up for being shy/quiet, feeling like I need to fix it- although I really do feel like I should open up more and push myself to make improvements, and I *want* to but I'm not sure how to or if I even have anything to say... I just feel like I can't connect with people through simple conversation or make friends and feel very lonely/isolated. Not only that I believe my shy/awkwardness also effects my ability to get/keep a job... like I'm 24 years old, unemployed, still living at home.. I go to school but I'm barely keeping up with that because of depression and maladaptive bs.. I have no friends. I just feel like nothing is going right and am getting so frustrated to where I hate everyone and everything and don't even want to live anymore... like I wake up and it's the same thoughts, the same struggle everyday without experiencing any joy and I'm just tired of dealing with it.

I'm in therapy but it's not really working for me.. like it just seems like another place to vent. I take medication but medication doesn't put words in my mouth.

Has anyone else been through this, how do you deal with it?

[optimize990h]

I understand where you are coming from, poptart316. I experience agoraphobia and when I do go out, I have to put on my "public mask" so I can be with people that relates to the errands that I need to do. I am on medication and I go to group therapy because I have trust issues with T's. I know I am trying to get into this routine that gives me a goal to aim for each day. It involves trying to get a positive mood by practising simple exercises that seem to simple to amount to anything, but it helped me. Grant you, I still have the good and bad days that interfere with that process.
It is hard, but I take it one day at a time. I have to keep away from negative thinking cycles, too. e.g. simple things like taking care of a pet, they know when you are in the dumps.

[r4v1]

I think I can relate to you. I have trust issues, I mean I don't really like to open up to people. I had friends and room mates who used to make fun of me. Sometimes they would abuse me so I gave up on making friends and things. So I am quite lonely.

Sometimes I think that is fine with me now. I think I need to find good wife who would understand me.

One thing I found out was my life is so monotonous. I have not traveled much.

Hope this helps.

[camo]

I can relate. I am very much like you - but, you will always have to take it day by day - can you get yourself involved in things that force you to interact with people - organizations, sports team??? That is what I do for my daughter who also fears social situations and is quiet. She is in girl scouts, goes to Bible class, takes singing lessons and gets involved in theatre groups - I take her to all these things because she needs the structured social situations, or else she starts to feel lonely, like she has no friends, etc. She does not make friends easily, and neither do I -- if you are quiet, remember THAT IS OK! Try not to be afraid to take some small steps to helping yourself --- no one wants to be lonely -- quiet and introverted people don't want to be lonely either! Maybe take some small steps each day to take you out of your comfort zone?

[l8blmr]

Hi poptart316,
I am an old guy with similar issues. If I could go back to my 24 old self, this is what I'd tell myself. If you've made it to this age and you feel unfit to be around people then you have not received the proper parenting to prepare you for life on you're own. You are okay, you are just like everyone else, they are capable of love, and warmth, and forgiveness. It's time for you to join the world of mature, caring adults. Show them that you're ready to love them and they will welcome you.

[CharactorAssassin]

Its a jungle out there. No doubt about it. The best thing we can do I think is try to get outside and go places to expose ourselves. We have to "habituate" to the stimulus. A therapist told me normal people often take a newspaper or device to a local coffee shop perhaps. They go for a walk in the park. Try walking about town treating yourself along the way. Forget about everything else. Its hard at first but it should get easier.

[avlady]

I also have social phobia, i put my mask on too. I don't like it when people seem to be looking at me, they probably aren't even doing that, but my mind tells me to beware, someone might try to talk to me. A few times I did get to talk to people out there, but only small talk, I don't trust too many people I meet at a grocery store!!! I am on Social Security Disability so I don't go out much, but I did just last year , volunteer at the old folks home in the hospital near us. I ended up quitting because I felt seizures coming on, but otherwise I would have stayed. I recieved 2 plaques for my help, the only people I could ever relate with were elderly people. So I think I was able to overcome my agrophobia, for a while anyway. I hope this helps someone!!!

[Fuzzybear]