[LearningMe01]

This sucks. It really...effing...sucks. I have been pretty much anxiety/panic attack free since the birth of my child (almost a year ago), something triggered a panic attack last week and I've been dealing with anxiety (almost on the verge of panic attacks) ever since. I just dissolved 1.5mg's of ativan under my tongue. Ativan (or benzo's in general) is something I swore I would stay away from. I took it for a long time, and while I never had a problem with them, I don't like the feeling of depending on something to make me feel "alright". I gave in last week, called my Dr. and asked her for some. I have to be able to be alert and function since I have an infant, I can't let anxiety stop me from living my life.

I'm just so incredibly discouraged. I really thought I was done with anxiety for good this time...this last year has been the longest I've ever gone (straight) without having an anxiety attack, and here it is again. I know what triggered the first attack, that issue is resolved...so why am I still dealing with this free floating anxiety? like tonight for instance, I'm sitting here on the computer, very calm , just chilling...and bang, it hits me like a ton of bricks. I try not to react physically - if you saw me, you would probably have no idea, but on the inside I'm almost freaking out, for seemingly no reason.

I really fear that this will never end. I fear that I'll have to live my entire life battling this. And the worst part about it? It feels as though I'm doing it to myself, yet for some reason I can't seem to get a grip.

[NeverAlone76]

I know how you feel. I have to be honest with the fact that our lovely hormones play a big role in this. I know this may sound very strange, but look at where you are in your cycle. I know for me, I have been able to pin point my anxiety/panic attacks to coming on the week before I get my period.

I have suffered with Bipolar, anxiety/panic since I was 16yrs. old (20yrs) now and know how discouraging and enraged they can make you feel. Your anxiety could have been high for sometime about whatever is going on, and without anything in particular "triggering" it, panic comes on. Just because you took some Ativan to help ease the discomfort, doesn't mean that you will have to continue for the rest of your life.

Keep your head up

[Vossie42]

Perhaps you are feeling anxious about having panic attacks. You hadn't had a panic attack for a long time and then you had one last week. That must be a real blow to your confidence. The current anxiety could be a temporary thing. After all you said you went a year without a panic attack. You can do it again!

[sassymck]

Hi there. Don't give up hope. It sounds as if you are anxious about getting anxious. I know I am. If you went a long time without panic, you will be free of it again. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing. Whether it is something good or bad, it cannot go on and on without end. Even anxiety. It will break. In the meantime, try to cut yourself some slack. Don't be hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself. It's not your fault or something you are doing to yourself. And if taking Ativan helps and your doctor prescribes it, then allow yourself that. As long as you don't get dependent on it, it's safe. Also, you could try some non-medicinal anti-anxiety treatments. You might look online for coping techniques such as relaxation exercises, meditations, etc. All the best to you and your baby.

[LearningMe01]

I'm going to just say a "mass thank you" for these replies, although there are only three, I've taken some benadryl and it's making me fall asleep here lol. I appreciate the input, and all the replies really resonate with me. I think you all could be right about having "anxiety about anxiety" I see my therapist tomorrow and I'm going to run that past her and see if she has any coping skills for me (which I'm sure she will, she totally rocks). But I've felt better the last day or so. Thanks again. Much appreciated

[avlady]

I used to get anxiety attacks most of my life. The last time i was hospitalized they became controlled somehow, maybe the new meds? I have no way to know but i am not giving up my meds as it's too scarry thinking of anxiety attacks. Also concerning your period, i also believe that could also be a a trigger. Hormones, etc.I had endromitriosis and had an operation to stop my period, am 52 and maybe that is also why i don't get anxiety attacks too?

[Cocosurviving]

I hate this happened to you and hope you
can get to the root cause.