[goldmoon]

Hello this is my first post and it's going to sound really really bad but I am so scared and obsessed that I'm a psychopath and I'm always checking myself for symptoms and can't stop looking up information on it on the Internet. It is literally driving me off the edge. I have never want to hurt anyone or anything physically but now I constantly worry about having thoughts or wanting to hurt my pets or someone I love around me. I am afraid to be around sharp objects. I'm also terrified of being an emotional manipulator/having narcissistic personality disorder and I'm scared I'm emotionally abusing the people around me to the point where I don't want to talk to them in case I'm hurting. Also I am afraid to be around children in case I'm a pedophile or I'm going to hurt them. How do I stop this worrying?? What if I really am a psychopath or something like that??

[biplol]

Goldmoon, are you doing anything you can to see a doctor? I think at this point you really nedd help and there are people especially prepared for that.
Please do something to start tacking of this and of you.

[goldmoon]

I went to see a therapist before but I was too afraid to tell him about this, I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and depression and I'm now taking Lexapro but I didn't tell him the real reason why I was so depressed, it's because I can't stop worrying about this and because I'm afraid that the person I love is cheating on me and I can't stop these thoughts.

[Mikey]

Im suffering from ocd also, Its important that you tell the doctor and T the real reasons. I too had really difficult with that before, but they cant really help you if they dont know, and theres a risk that they give you wrong meds, as it was for me in the beginning.
take care, mikey

[alisandria]

I agree, tell your doctor & T the real reasons. OCD is treatable with the right meds, and some meds can even exacerbate it. Don't be ashamed, or frightened, they deal with this stuff so it's likely they have heard it all before and then some. If you cannot bring yourself to say anything to your T in person, give her/him a call and do it over the phone. But, find a way to break that ice...that in and of itself maybe help reduce some of this behavior, afterall, the anxiety of it all only feeds it. When it's out there to be dealt with, your fears are lessened, and your symptoms will too.

Hugs, Lisa