[drunksunflower]

So ... after a few weeks of debate with the 'boy' he made me go to doc about throwing up randomly n stuff.

We went, he came in with me, I barely managed to answer questions, what I didn't say he said for me and doc ended up asking him questions about me and my moods etc - embarrassing

So it's apparently stress-related. No yucky anything else. I got more Celexa and some lorazepam for sleeping. And doc went ON AND ON about counselling.

So the boy says I have to go or he will get frustrated and ****** again. I don't WANT to. I'm tempted to make it up. I can lie convincingly enough I think. And if I say I am going thru work (we have an EAP that provides it) then he can't really prove I haven't.

But it annoys me cos I should be able to make my own decisions (sex is still being with held).

I suggested that I try reading some self help books on stress management and maybe some yoga or meditation. But that's not good enough. If I don't go to a counsellor that's it he doesn't want anything more to do with me, basically.

I am just upset about the whole thing, ok I can deal with stress now I am sure that is what it is.

But whatever I do isn't good enough unless it's what he thinks too.

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drunksunflower, only do things that YOU know will help YOU.

being forced into a corner will help no one, and you will only feel pressured and ill even more if this continues. i wouldnt normally advise to lie but this time id say to do it. as long as he thinks you are, you can use other methods to help yourself, with him thinking you are going to therapy.

i am sorry you are in your situation. its not nice to be forced to do things.

take it easy and i hope you feel better soon.

and im glad the being sick wasnt anything medical, just stress related, thats good news in my eyes because at least you can say you have health.

simon

[zombiette]

i think counselling could be a huge help, and i know i've gotten a lot out of it, BUT only if u want to be there...if ur there under "duress", it's going to be a waste of time for everyone...on one hand i can see why he's getting frustrated, but on the other hand ur not just ignoring it, ur talking about other methods u can use to help urself, so u could give those a shot and see how they work...hopefully they do, but if not, time to call in the professionals! make ur choices based on what u think is best 4 YOU tho, not to appease him.

[JustAPixie]

((((((((( drunkensunflower ))))))))

If you are forced to go to counselling it won't help anyway because you won't open up.... What would you say to someone else in your situation, would you think they needed counselling? If you don't think you need, then you shouldn't go. But don't lie, it will eventually bite you in the *** and you know it!

[alisandria]

I'm not for lying at all. I think that would be a wrong move all the way around. I am also not for you being handed an ultimatum about the counselling. I think counselling would benefit you greatly, it can help you talk with someone that is removed from your everyday life, and can help you make choices about things just like this.

I don't see anything wrong with you working at things the way you want too. Being pushed into doing something generally doesn't have a positive outcome. I agree, you will feel less apt to open up there. Just a bit of food for thought, if you seriously feel you have everything in control, why lie to him about going? why not just stand firm and tell him, this is how I chose to deal with it at this point.

G'luck ((((DSF)))) I know you will do what is best for you.

[drunksunflower]

It doesn't work, he just won't talk to me until I have sorted it out.

Heh.

Such a mess.

[drunksunflower]

So I got persuaded to go - we have an EAP thing through work so I made an appointment - at least i can talk about work stress (which is what doc said is the underlying cause of throwning up).

sigh

don't wanna go but it doesn't seem so bad if it's work related.