[Elliver]

This is not my first time battling with anxiety (I'm on medication), but it is my first time posting about it.

I currently am doing my residency for my doctorate and I'm pretty miserable where I'm placed. I had no choice in where I went (but that's a whole different post).

The supervisors at my residency are the main reason I'm having a hard time. I get yelled at - literally yelled at - for mistakes I've made and even things I didn't have any part of. One direct supervisor tears me apart verbally when reviewing my reports and makes snide, back-handed comments. 5 minutes later, she acts like she didn't just call me worthless. I feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells and that I could be screamed at at any moment. The only support I receive (at work) is from my fellow intern who is struggling with the same kinds of issues I am.

I'm legally obligated to complete my residency at this site and have to be there until August, 2014. My supports (husband, friends, family) keeps telling me "it's only a year" but that doesn't help. It seems so far away, especially sitting here crying as I type this because I'm so anxious about having to go in.

Some days I'm okay. I tell myself that it's temporary and that all of these issues are beyond my control. I can't control the waves but I can learn to surf. Other days, like today, I just cry and cry. I think of all the bad things that could happen, might happen and I just don't know how I'm going to survive day to day, much less another 10 months.

I guess I'm posting here in hopes of feeling like I'm not alone. That "it's just one year" is not the only answer out there and that maybe someone else understands.

[gayleggg]

I've been in job where I felt like that and it's horrible. Don't blame your for being anxious. I'm glad you have a good support system and that you are on meds to help you out. The only thing I can tell is put one foot in front of the other. It's not a good situation and don't know of any way to get around it. Wish I had a better solution. Wishing you the best. Keep posting. It helps to be able to let it out.

[Pierro]

You will have no self esteem by the time you leave there. A month is hell of a long time never mind a year. No wonder you are on meds. I am so sorry that you are being treated like this. Life is hard enough. Best wishes.

[Little Lulu]

Glad you have found us - it does help to let it out. Support is everything! Those nasty people are so hard to those of with anxiety to deal with. Frequently I take it personally when logically I know it is really about them. I try imagining the word SICK written on the person's forehead when someone is acting crazy. Somehow, it helps ... because they are! Hugs.

[Kaboodle]

So sorry about your negative experiences. It sounds more like Marine training! If that one supervisor is tearing you apart and then 5 minutes later acts like she didn't, SHE's the one with the problem. She has issues in her own life and is taking them out on you in one of her tirades. This is exactly what an abusive spouse does, then sends flowers. She is a very sick individual.

When faced with situations like that I try to turn it around and inject some sort of humor into it. Maybe you and the supportive intern can secretly come up with silly nicknames for the supervisors. As the old saying goes, "life is 10% what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it." Try not to let them rent space in your head.

I've found that even a 15-minute brisk walk with some deep breathing can help shake some of it off. I figure if you're working on your doctorate, you don't have a whole lot of time to exercise!

Do some Googling on how to deal with a difficult boss and you will get some good tips.

I've been there with the "only a year" statements. It's times like that I wished I had a banana cream pie to throw in their faces!

Been there, done it. I feel for ya.

[wiltedflower11]

I am in a similar situation right now. Do not let them get the best of you! Chin up.

[gnat]

I had two jobs like that, one right after the other. Half the time whatever I was being torn apart about was something I had specifically been told to do by them or just stupid stuff, like being assigned a client in the morning and yelled at the same afternoon because I hadn't MST with him yet (he wasn't free until the following day and I had scheduled an appt.).

Both of my supervisors who treated me this way were addicts. I knew it wasn't about me, it was about them, but it was still hard. I would literally be sick every Monday morning because if stress and felt terrible all the time.

With my first boss I just took it and tried to make it her happy by being perfect. Thing is, when you're in an abusive relationship there is no pleasing them, they are only happy when they are putting you down. With the second I finally had it one day and started flaring my nostrils while he was chewing me out. He was so mad and I was trying not to laugh. I then stood up to him and he fired me...well, kind of... he told me to find a new job. I had been looking for several months but was happy to have a job offer on my answering mmachine when I got home that day.

I am so sorry to hear you are stuck in the position I was in. I know it's hard, but remind yourself it's not you, it's them they are being disrespectful, unprofessional, and abusive. Do you have an advisor you can speak to?