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  #1  
Old Nov 14, 2006, 11:06 AM
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Yoda Yoda is offline
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Location: Appalachia
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My dad and brother-in-law are coming to stay with me for "Deer Camp '06". They will be arriving this Sunday. I have known this for a month but my extreme fatigue has prevented me from cleaning my house. Which is the primary reason I am anxious. I know you are probably thinking "Oh everybody has a messy house, he will understand" but I am way beyond just messy. In the spring a social worker came to my house and he said that if the DHHR saw my house they would say I was unfit to raise a child and take my son away. Yes it is that bad. It is a health hazard and difficult to just walk through it. I had a water leak under my house for a year because I was too ashamed to let anybody in my house to fix it. (Finally fixed it when we were no longer able to take showers)

So last weekend I was able to clean the bathroom a bit. I thought I would start with the smallest room. Dad called last night and I pretended everything was fine. After we got off the phone I took a xanax and smoked a cigarette. Not much of a smoker - I am still smoking a pack I bought in September.

I am sooo tired and I just don't know how I am going to pull this off. I have no money to hire help. My family is useless. I only have 2 friends and they are men. I have 5 days left to clean and I am so scared. I have tried to rephrase my thinking by saying cleaning will be like a scavenger hunt - I will find lots of neat things I have lost. I even put $100 in an envelope for my reward for when my house is "company clean". But I just feel overwhelmed. And so tired. I have been to the doctor and have lab tests pending to seek a biological cause for the fatigue. I started taking bunches of vitamins a week ago.

So basically I have lots and lots of work to do with a deadline fast approaching. I would appreciate any support from you guys. How have you dealt with overwhelming tasks with a deadline?

I feel like I want to run and hide. Anybody got a spare room during deer season? Increasing anxiety and dread - nearing panic - send H-E-L-P!!
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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous

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  #2  
Old Nov 14, 2006, 01:56 PM
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Soidhonia Soidhonia is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: OHIO
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Hello I hope things are going better for you at this time. If your fatigue does not get better you may want to see a Dr. for a physical and your psych Dr to help you adjust your medication to help you be more motivated. I feel that if your children are old enough, they can help do some tasks, to help you out. I hope the best for you but if you do things, even for 20 minutes (set a times) you may do more than trying to do too much at one time and get overwhelmed, and too exhausted to do anything. Hopefully things will get better soon, and after your father leaves maybe you will talk about some goal setting and daily living skills with your therapist to help you retrain your motivation towards realistic daily activities and prioritize what needs to be done daily. Many people have really thrived under the direction of a therapist that can help get things organized daily, and I feel that you can do the same. Take care Sincerely Soidhonia
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  #3  
Old Nov 14, 2006, 08:05 PM
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biplol biplol is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: close to the beach in body, close to the mountains in soul..
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Yoda, what I do, when i have to do soemthing and it's a mess becuase I procrastinated everyhting, it's just, don't think about, divide you house in small taks, start wiht one room at a time, but don't stop until you finish it.
~best luck to you~
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Increasing anxiety and dread - nearing panic - send H-E-L-P!!Increasing anxiety and dread - nearing panic - send H-E-L-P!!
  #4  
Old Nov 14, 2006, 10:33 PM
freewill
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the dread is the pits... sometimes I hurt so bad, just thinking about doing something overwhelms me.

So when I absolutely have to have something done, I set a timer 15 minutes, I like "mentaly" hold my breath and say I will not think about anything but this little space that I'm cleaning. I put a large garbage bag in very room and a laundry basket. I go like a whirlwin and throw everything away that needs throwing first. Then I throw everything in the basket that needs taking care of - use 2,3,4 baskets/boxes. Then the next round I take a bucket of water/soap and clean everything that needs it.

By breaking it down by room, by small times, then by a specific task - like throwing all the garbage away... for me it easier to make myself do something even though there is pain - both physical and mental.

For me this method worked even long term so that nothing gets in a sad state once I get it in shape.

Wishing you the best... hope some of this suggestions help - Sincerely, Lu
  #5  
Old Nov 14, 2006, 11:39 PM
Boopers Boopers is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Washington State
Posts: 1,622
Yoda,
Also, one thing that helps me is, everytime I get up to go into another room, I grab something, anything that belongs in the room I'm going to, and put it away, throw it away or whatever. Then, whatever room I am going to next, I grab something from the room I'm in and take it there. That seems to help me as I don't stress near as much.

Good luck to you!

Linda
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  #6  
Old Nov 14, 2006, 11:51 PM
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LMo LMo is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2003
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,224
One way I like to start is by taking a paper grocery bag and a garbage bag, and I walk through each room looking for things to either throw away or recycle. Once I've taken away those two mess-makers, then the rest of it seems way less overwhelming.

In terms of the kitchen, I always follow this sequence. If I work out of sequcne, I can't do it:
1) throw away any garbage or bottles that are on the counters or table
2) put away whatever dishes are clean from the dishwasher or dishrack
3) fill the dishwasher
4) wipe the counters and stove
5) go through the fridge and clean out whatever isn't edible
6) put resulting dishes in the dishwasher
7) wipe the fridge shelves
8) rewipe the counters, wash the sink, and replace the dishrags and sponge with clean ones

For the bedrooms, I:
1) change the sheets
2) make the bed (I cannot clean a bedroom if the bed isn't made -- doesn't work for me)
3) gather all dirty laundry and get it out of the bedroom
4) fold all clean laundry and put it away
5) dust and sweep

It's got to be in that sequence, because there is always a beginning and an end to each step.

I am sorry it feels so overwhelming. I know it's not fun. You were smart to pick the smallest room first.

Good luck... you can do this!
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  #7  
Old Nov 15, 2006, 12:41 PM
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Yoda Yoda is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Appalachia
Posts: 9,968
Thanks so much for the encouragement I am going to do my best and hope that it will be ok. Those are some really good tips. I am making notes and am going to head off to one room and just start with a small goal (and lots of bags).
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