[The Aes Sedai]

Today was my first day back in school since the winter break. I haven't been able to leave my house in four days and today was my first time out. I was panicking as soon as I stepped outside. All day in school my heart was racing and I couldn't stop shaking. I thought I was going to pass out. But once I get used to the routine again, it won't be as bad I think.

My mom is starting to notice how odd I act when I am around other people. When we went food shopping for Christmas, she saw how tense I was and how I was in a hurry to get out of the store. She asked me if I needed to talk to someone about it, but I told her I didn't need to. It feels weird for me to tell her how I feel around others and I don't know if I'd be able to talk to a professional about it either. I'd feel to embarrassed I think. Any advice?

Thanks,

The Aes Sedai

[lifelies]

I'm starting school on the 8th and I'm really afraid.
People of my grade treat us better now, we have some friends and it's nice. Even if they say something I learnt not to care, because I know every one in my grade and I don't give a damn about what they say.
But when it's other people of other grades I get really nervous.
I feel safe at school tho. When school ends all I want to do is go home. But some times they want to hang out with some friends and I'm okay as long as I'm not alone. I can't be left alone because then everybody will come to tell me things and laugh at me. But when I'm with friends I don't care and they don't do those things.
The thing I hate is when I go home because I live away from all my friends so I have to go home alone and it's horrible because if I find someone they will start staring at me or laughing or saying my name (not mine, bodys).
And it's terrible honestly
I always try to avoid neighbours becouse I'm afraid of they talking to me.
But I don't know what to do I totally understand you
Chris

[Dear]

Originally Posted by The Aes Sedai

Today was my first day back in school since the winter break. I haven't been able to leave my house in four days and today was my first time out. I was panicking as soon as I stepped outside. All day in school my heart was racing and I couldn't stop shaking. I thought I was going to pass out. But once I get used to the routine again, it won't be as bad I think.

My mom is starting to notice how odd I act when I am around other people. When we went food shopping for Christmas, she saw how tense I was and how I was in a hurry to get out of the store. She asked me if I needed to talk to someone about it, but I told her I didn't need to. It feels weird for me to tell her how I feel around others and I don't know if I'd be able to talk to a professional about it either. I'd feel to embarrassed I think. Any advice?

Thanks,

The Aes Sedai

Hello, I'm 17 years old and I doubt I'd be able to give much advice. But that's not what I'm here for, I'm here to reassure you that you really aren't alone, and as I was reading your post I couldn't help but relate and see myself in it so much. It helped me realize I wasn't alone, so I hope I help you realize too. School is starting back for me in less than 5 hours. (I've been up most of the night) and I've always struggled with school. Ever since about two years ago, school just got extremely hard for me. It was so hard just to focus. I have really bad social anxiety, and you may have that too. I would always feel eyes on me. I was never comfortable in my own skin. I even laid out of school for a whole year and tried to hide myself from the world in my own room. I hope you never do what I did because even though I thought it'd help me, it didn't. After that year of laying out of school my social interactions were worse than ever, my fear of school was even worse and I almost lost all of my communication skills.

You aren't alone. I'm still struggling on going back, and the thought that I have to go back in less than 5 hours really makes it even seem doubtful that I will. Just don't give up. Take me as an example and tell yourself "wow, I don't want to end up like that"

[Dan208]

I don't know if I'd be able to talk to a professional about it either. I'd feel to embarrassed I think. Any advice?

I know exactly how this feels. It took me FOREVER to work up the courage to call a pdoc and make an appointment. When I finally did, I was shaking so badly I thought I was going to drop the phone or pass out.

[The Aes Sedai]

Originally Posted by Dear

Hello, I'm 17 years old and I doubt I'd be able to give much advice. But that's not what I'm here for, I'm here to reassure you that you really aren't alone, and as I was reading your post I couldn't help but relate and see myself in it so much. It helped me realize I wasn't alone, so I hope I help you realize too. School is starting back for me in less than 5 hours. (I've been up most of the night) and I've always struggled with school. Ever since about two years ago, school just got extremely hard for me. It was so hard just to focus. I have really bad social anxiety, and you may have that too. I would always feel eyes on me. I was never comfortable in my own skin. I even laid out of school for a whole year and tried to hide myself from the world in my own room. I hope you never do what I did because even though I thought it'd help me, it didn't. After that year of laying out of school my social interactions were worse than ever, my fear of school was even worse and I almost lost all of my communication skills.

You aren't alone. I'm still struggling on going back, and the thought that I have to go back in less than 5 hours really makes it even seem doubtful that I will. Just don't give up. Take me as an example and tell yourself "wow, I don't want to end up like that"

Thanks for your message. I'm glad we can both feel a little better knowing that we aren't the only ones struggling. I know that feeling when it feels like everyone is watching you. I hope school today went well for you. I'll tell you the same thing you told me; don't give up. Talk to me anytime if you want.

[The Aes Sedai]

Originally Posted by lifelies

I'm starting school on the 8th and I'm really afraid.
People of my grade treat us better now, we have some friends and it's nice. Even if they say something I learnt not to care, because I know every one in my grade and I don't give a damn about what they say.
But when it's other people of other grades I get really nervous.
I feel safe at school tho. When school ends all I want to do is go home. But some times they want to hang out with some friends and I'm okay as long as I'm not alone. I can't be left alone because then everybody will come to tell me things and laugh at me. But when I'm with friends I don't care and they don't do those things.
The thing I hate is when I go home because I live away from all my friends so I have to go home alone and it's horrible because if I find someone they will start staring at me or laughing or saying my name (not mine, bodys).
And it's terrible honestly
I always try to avoid neighbours becouse I'm afraid of they talking to me.
But I don't know what to do I totally understand you
Chris

Hi Chris. Thanks for your message. I'm sorry to hear you've been bullied before. I'm glad you are ignoring what they are saying to you now. That's not easy to do. I take everything everyone says to me personally. I know.. I'm so afraid to be seen in public, as soon as school ends I go straight home. And once I'm home, I can't leave again. You can always send me a message if you want. Hope things get better soon.

[LavenderFruitNinja]

I can connect a lot to this, and I hope that it settles down for you a bit soon. I do agree that, most likely, once you settle back into the routine it will get easier. Hopefully it will. Just curious, have you tried wearing a warm hoodie when you go outside? Might not do anything, but personally I feel more protected and hidden when I wear a hood, like I'm being hidden and warmed. And you might not need to, but if you do think you need a professional to help you sometimes, perhaps you should try to convey your feelings through writing? When I'm trying to discuss something really secret or personal with my T, I often clench up and start panicking at the thought of her reacting or interrupting me, but she lets me write things down and then hand them to her to read, which still gets exactly my meaning across but with less stress. Sending hugs, good luck with things!

- Rin

[lifelies]

Originally Posted by LavenderFruitNinja

I can connect a lot to this, and I hope that it settles down for you a bit soon. I do agree that, most likely, once you settle back into the routine it will get easier. Hopefully it will. Just curious, have you tried wearing a warm hoodie when you go outside? Might not do anything, but personally I feel more protected and hidden when I wear a hood, like I'm being hidden and warmed. And you might not need to, but if you do think you need a professional to help you sometimes, perhaps you should try to convey your feelings through writing? When I'm trying to discuss something really secret or personal with my T, I often clench up and start panicking at the thought of her reacting or interrupting me, but she lets me write things down and then hand them to her to read, which still gets exactly my meaning across but with less stress. Sending hugs, good luck with things!

- Rin

Thank you for the hoodie tip
I will try it but Judit doesn't like hoodies so maybe I will end up loosing it
I hope tomorrow is a good day for me
Chris

[The Aes Sedai]

Originally Posted by LavenderFruitNinja

I can connect a lot to this, and I hope that it settles down for you a bit soon. I do agree that, most likely, once you settle back into the routine it will get easier. Hopefully it will. Just curious, have you tried wearing a warm hoodie when you go outside? Might not do anything, but personally I feel more protected and hidden when I wear a hood, like I'm being hidden and warmed. And you might not need to, but if you do think you need a professional to help you sometimes, perhaps you should try to convey your feelings through writing? When I'm trying to discuss something really secret or personal with my T, I often clench up and start panicking at the thought of her reacting or interrupting me, but she lets me write things down and then hand them to her to read, which still gets exactly my meaning across but with less stress. Sending hugs, good luck with things!

- Rin

Thanks Rin for your message
I know what you mean by feeling more protected and hidden in a hoodie. I do the same thing. I feel exposed without it. It's my lifeline. And writing down my feelings does sound like a good idea. It helps to write things on here and let things that bother me out. I'll start writing more on my own. Thanks again for your help.