[wushuduck]

I went around to my friends house for the first time in a few months yesterday, I should have been able to relax and enjoy myself, but I felt completely out of place. I feel like that a lot in social situations, it's like I don't bring anything to the table by being there, could it be because I'm not used to socializing? I get a little paranoid, too, and start feeling like they don't really like me and that they don't really want me there. I just can't enjoy myself around my friends because I'm too focussed on myself and trying to socialize properly. I don't look forward to socializing like I should do.

A psychiatrist I saw said I have social anxiety, but I'm not sure, is all of this normal in people with Social Anxiety? Will it get better if I keep forcing myself to socialize or should I just give up and hide away again for another few months? Because that happens a lot, I socialize once, and then go back into my hole for a long time. I just genuinely feel like they don't really like me, that I bring the atmosphere down when I'm out with them, despite them continuing to invite me out and trying to keep in touch with me.

Anyone got any advice? Would much appreciate it. Thanks.

Ha - YES. Haven't "fit in" all of my life. I've crafted a lifestyle and career out of being a freak. Having confidence in my freakiness has, ironically, made me "cool". Funny, how life works

[tohelpafriend]

Originally Posted by Twigg

I went around to my friends house for the first time in a few months yesterday, I should have been able to relax and enjoy myself, but I felt completely out of place. I feel like that a lot in social situations, it's like I don't bring anything to the table by being there, could it be because I'm not used to socializing? I get a little paranoid, too, and start feeling like they don't really like me and that they don't really want me there. I just can't enjoy myself around my friends because I'm too focussed on myself and trying to socialize properly. I don't look forward to socializing like I should do.

A psychiatrist I saw said I have social anxiety, but I'm not sure, is all of this normal in people with Social Anxiety? Will it get better if I keep forcing myself to socialize or should I just give up and hide away again for another few months? Because that happens a lot, I socialize once, and then go back into my hole for a long time. I just genuinely feel like they don't really like me, that I bring the atmosphere down when I'm out with them, despite them continuing to invite me out and trying to keep in touch with me.

Anyone got any advice? Would much appreciate it. Thanks.

Hi,
I don't exactly have advice, but can relate to some social situations which just don't feel right for me...maybe it's more I don't want to be there, than wondering if I fit in. It's nice your friends continue to invite you out....they must like you to do that.....I've started to invite some family to try to socialize more.....when I'm out in public, like shopping, I try to feel empathetic and speak to people when it seems right, like in a supermarket, but not on Saturdays when the crowd is crazy and I can't standing unruly kids running around making noise. What did the Psychiatrist say about anxiety getting better? I hate having strangers over, like contractors...Monday and Today. Maybe you just feel like they don't like you...is there a close friend in the group you could ask how you come across to others? I think I do have some traits of social anxiety, though my T has not said so. Let us know how you figure this out; I think quite a few people here at pc can relate to social anxiety. Peace, "help...."

Do I feel like I do not fit in? Absolutely NOT.

I know that I do not fit in.

[CountingSheep]

I've felt this way before. Its mostly because I struggle with conversations. I feel like there is some big secret that I'm missing out on and because of that I cannot talk to people normally. Especially because we humans are supposed to be social creatures.Since I cant do that as easily as others I feel like I'm not normal.

Since your friends are actively attempting to invite you out to places and have you join them I'd say you might be a bit paranoid in that respect since you believe they don't like you. You have to keep in mind that if they didnt enjoy your company they wouldnt go out of their way to talk to you or invite you to places. I know its hard to just ignore those thoughts, Ive had them too, but I suggest you just take your friends at face value.

As for some advice, I don't think Ive got anything good to say. I havent really been able to get over my little social anxiety problem when it comes to my friends. With strangers though I've gotten to the point where I don't care what they think of me. As long as im being friendly if someone doesnt take to me or conversation doesnt go the way I had hoped then I just shrug my shoulders and move on. I didn't really do anything to get to the point, it just happened one day. I will say though that I don't think you should be trying to close yourself off from people. That doesnt do anything but stunt your social skills.

[makayla55]

That's exactly how I feel all the time. I was diagnosed with social anxiety some years ago, and do believe I've always had it but just didn't know what it was. I didn't have friends in school because I didn't fit in with everyone else, and even with my family I feel like the black sheep of the family.

I'm working on not caring what others think, and just being myself, but then I don't really know who I am either. It's crazy.

[lizzyjb]

I can do it when there's a few people but I can't fit with a lot of people. I stop talking and stand near someone I know well or alone in a side. Because I know that I don't fit.

[allme]

You're definitely not alone. I have never felt like I fit in ANYWHERE. My answer to this was to take myself away from social situations. I will only go do something (which is rare) when I am totally feeling ok. I spoke to my pdoc and told him, I am in a place right now where I am happy not to see ppl too often and he told me to do what makes me feel happy. Too much pressure is put on us to go out there and fit in and socialise. I am not saying staying away from people is the right thin for you to do, it just works for me. I have my hubby, my parents and my brother and I feel this is enough for me right now with the occasional social event (maybe once every 2 or 3 months) I am happy now

[Restin]

There's a lot of talk about social anxiety, but what if you just don't have anything in common with 99% of people?. What if you're not scared but are bored?

[not quite right]

I've never fit in any group, any age, any situation. I have trademarked the "outsider" persona and am known by it. I do have a few friends and we communicate usually by texting & email because I don't like talking on the phone. It is what it is. I imagine if you could change it you would so now you will have to figure out how to live in a world that doesn't understand. I wish you luck. Warm m thoughts to you

[Denman]

I have never fit in anywhere my entire life. I'm 59. I've felt like an outcast for most of my life, totally unliked by most people I have encountered in all of my years. I've reached out and tried to "fit in" and make friends and connect with people, but have failed miserably every time. I have 3 friends, and have come to realize that I will have to be content and happy with that. It's a horrible feeling going thru life knowing that people just don't like you.

[emmyk]

I can fit in with older adults, sometimes, but not people my age. Walk into my high school and boom. Anxiety and feeling like I don't fit in.

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[StrongerMan]

I can fit in with most everyone and, at the same time I've always felt like an outcast. By that I mean I can find common ground with just about anyone but I don't trust many people long enough to allow them to get to know the real me. I have a high level of empathy but I've never been comfortable in my own skin. I've always put more weight in how I was different from others and how they would reject me than in the things I had in common with them and they might accept me for. We learn these things at an early age from our parents who either make us feel empowered by our uniqueness (faults, blemishes, talents, fears, needs etc...) or to feel ashamed of it.

[clytemnestra]

I'm no expert, but I would imagine that if people keep inviting you places, they want you to be there and enjoy your company