[PrairieCat]

Hi All, I am new to this forum. Started out on Bipolar forum but I have gotten all new docs and gotten off of most all the Bipolar meds. I feel I was most probably misdiagnosed...long, disgusting story. I think I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression ONLY. My pdoc has promised me a diagnosis eventually. He is old and he keeps being out sick and I don't know how the heck he can possibly diagnose me unless he could have been with me every moment of my life since I was born.

I am 73 and wanted to get off Xanax/Alprazolam because it can cause dementia in the aged. One past pdoc told me that it "probably won't cause dementia because you take so little." "PROBABLY" is not good enough for me.

I was taking only 1 mg. Xanax at bedtime for sleep. For MANY years. One past pdoc told me it was not meant to be taken for more than two weeks! I went off 1 mg. Xanax per my present pdoc; it took four weeks and I added on the last week by taking only 1/8 mg. per day. I'm very good at cutting pills. lol

I then had withdrawal I could not tolerate - panic attacks and huge anxiety plus big time depression. So I went back on the Alprazolam, felt I had no other choice.

BUT, WHAT this did for me was make me remember and realize that I have had these awful anxiety feelings ALWAYS, since I was a tiny child. I believe I inherited this along with two auto-immune diseases, Fibromyalgia and Scleroderma (Raynaud's Disease). The Fibro is now gone because of a treatment I had called TMS, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. I remembered feeling this same awful anxiety when I was in the lower grades in school, also higher grades and into my adulthood. When very young, I tried to play sick to stay home from school. This is also coupled with the horrid way I was raised, by a misogynist mother who truly believed her only son was much more important than her three 'stupid, brainless' daughters she treated like babies always and who also would NOT allow any expression of feelings at all within the family. Crying was not allowed, feeling scared was not allowed, one was made to feel guilty for feeling happy or laughing, ad nauseum, ETC. Poor misogynist mother...she could not have been a happy individual.

Does anyone have any similarities to any of this in their experience?

Has anyone done CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, to learn the skills needed to combat anxiety????? I know I need to change my negative mindset and my thought patterns.

Please answer me, whatever you have to offer. I am feeling desperate. I know where I can get CBT for no cost, hopefully, but I would like to know more about this first if possible! I could use some encouragement or whatever your thoughts are on this. THANK YOU!


PrairieCat

[kaliope]

I was more successful with hypnosis than cbt for my anxiety...

I also went thru withdrawals coming off klonopin so take it very rarely as I don't want to become addicted to it again. I take buspar for my anxiety daily. it is nonaddicting and works well to take the edge off.

[zoogirl7]

Hey there,
So sorry you're going through this. I'm 37 and was prescribed xanax about 8 yrs ago. It was the only med that helped me. I've actually never heard of xanax contributing to dementia but I assume the docs know. I have found that my psychiatrist and primary care doctor never agree! Since I became pregnant a few months ago I tried weaning off and it is incredibly hard. I had good days and rotten days, the rebound anxiety is terrible. I'm not 100% off but at least I did the best I could. Yes, CBT can do a lot of good. I do find or sudden attacks of anxiety, the xanax helps a lot, but if you're at a point where you can let the anxiety pass, it will go away. I think CBT will be a great thing for you! You may learn things about yourself you never knew before. I found the source of most of my anxiety issues which is very helpful. Hang in there, and yes try CBT! If you dont click with the first therapist, try new ones until it feels like a good fit. Good luck, you'll be fine!

[Mustkeepjob32]

That's the problem with getting off the alprazolam, the withdrawals. I think people have to come off it VERY slowly in order to be successful.

[zoogirl7]

Yes hynpotherapy too! I've done CBT and hypnotherapy concurrently, I do admit I looked more forward to the hypnotherapy. There are different techniques they use and you are always in control of your own mind. It can be a major relaxation/stress relief and they can also delve into different events in your life and help the way you react to those events. Its very interesting. If you're able to do both, there's a lot to gain for sure, but therapy in general is always helpful and a good idea in my opinion.

[PrairieCat]

Originally Posted by zoogirl7

Hey there,
So sorry you're going through this. I'm 37 and was prescribed xanax about 8 yrs ago. It was the only med that helped me. I've actually never heard of xanax contributing to dementia but I assume the docs know. I have found that my psychiatrist and primary care doctor never agree! Since I became pregnant a few months ago I tried weaning off and it is incredibly hard. I had good days and rotten days, the rebound anxiety is terrible. I'm not 100% off but at least I did the best I could. Yes, CBT can do a lot of good. I do find or sudden attacks of anxiety, the xanax helps a lot, but if you're at a point where you can let the anxiety pass, it will go away. I think CBT will be a great thing for you! You may learn things about yourself you never knew before. I found the source of most of my anxiety issues which is very helpful. Hang in there, and yes try CBT! If you dont click with the first therapist, try new ones until it feels like a good fit. Good luck, you'll be fine!

Thanks for your encouragement re CBT! You say your primary care doctor and your psychiatrist never agree. That is no surprise to me at all. None ever will! Psychiatry is too different and sometimes at odds with primary health care and that's just the way it is. Listen, it is hard to even find two psychiatrists who agree!

I am concerned that you are taking psych drugs while pregnant. This is a very big thing. You need to follow your OB's advice. Some are not to be taken at all during pregnancy, too dangerous for the baby. I don't want to scare you and realize that you may already know that. Take it seriously. But also you must take care of yourself while doing so. There are always other options, no matter what. My best to you.
PrairieCat

[zoogirl7]

Thanks PrairieCat! Ha yes I dont think my psychiatrist and my primary doctor have ever agreed! My psychiatrist gets mad and says, if I had high blood pressure, the primary doc would treat me and he wouldn't say a word about it--but when it comes to psychological issues, he gets annoyed that primary docs try to tell us what to do. He told me they only are required to take I think one course on psychology in med school and dont always know best. My psychiatrist is about 70 yrs old and has seen it all. He told me from the start, if I want to feel better, xanax is the med that will help. I resisted at first, but he convinced me to try and sure enough, I felt a lot of relief and was able to function without fears for quite some time. I hate relying on meds but I was pretty severe and desperately wanted my life back. The regret I do have is what's happening now. If I never went on meds, life would have been agonizing, but I would have been forced to figure out how to deal with the panic disorder med-free. I did go to therapy for 4 yrs straight, but with the xanax is in my system, the work I did progressed slower. So now that I weaned off most of the xanax, I'm not as prepared to ward off the panic as I wish I were. But I cant see myself being able to have done this any other way. I asked 4 docs about xanax during pregnancy and was honestly shocked at the response! I thought they would all tell me, get off that med!! But it was the opposite. They felt it was more important for me to feel ok and calm. The only birth defect with a slight correlation to xanax was a slight increase in cleft palate, but they kept telling me no worries? I took it upon myself to wean down to 1/6 of my normal dose. That was super rough. Some times I was shocked at how ok I felt, and other times, I felt so crappy. I did it pretty gradual, but probably not gradual enough. I went 3 days with no xanax and it didnt go well. So I take a little piece in the morning which seemed to be ok. As of today though, it's gone up to now 1/3 of what my regular dose was. No one seems worried about it at all, and frankly, it still surprises me that I'm not being told xanax is a bad idea, but the baby is healthy. They are more worried about my borderline blood pressure than anything else and dont even bring up the xanax at all at my visits. Very interesting. But I think for someone like me, this will be my only pregnancy! I learned something valuable about myself I didnt know before, I am a control freak. When you're pregnant, you have zero control over what is happening with your body and very little control over your moods/mind. It's an uncomfortable situation for someone who needs a routine, structure and stability in order to feel ok and keep anxiety down. There's a lot of added stress, worry, and responsibility. While I know I have to deal with this and figure it out, it surely is the hardest thing I've had to do in a long long time!

[PrairieCat]

Originally Posted by zoogirl7

Thanks PrairieCat! Ha yes I dont think my psychiatrist and my primary doctor have ever agreed! My psychiatrist gets mad and says, if I had high blood pressure, the primary doc would treat me and he wouldn't say a word about it--but when it comes to psychological issues, he gets annoyed that primary docs try to tell us what to do. He told me they only are required to take I think one course on psychology in med school and dont always know best. My psychiatrist is about 70 yrs old and has seen it all. He told me from the start, if I want to feel better, xanax is the med that will help. I resisted at first, but he convinced me to try and sure enough, I felt a lot of relief and was able to function without fears for quite some time. I hate relying on meds but I was pretty severe and desperately wanted my life back. The regret I do have is what's happening now. If I never went on meds, life would have been agonizing, but I would have been forced to figure out how to deal with the panic disorder med-free. I did go to therapy for 4 yrs straight, but with the xanax is in my system, the work I did progressed slower. So now that I weaned off most of the xanax, I'm not as prepared to ward off the panic as I wish I were. But I cant see myself being able to have done this any other way. I asked 4 docs about xanax during pregnancy and was honestly shocked at the response! I thought they would all tell me, get off that med!! But it was the opposite. They felt it was more important for me to feel ok and calm. The only birth defect with a slight correlation to xanax was a slight increase in cleft palate, but they kept telling me no worries? I took it upon myself to wean down to 1/6 of my normal dose. That was super rough. Some times I was shocked at how ok I felt, and other times, I felt so crappy. I did it pretty gradual, but probably not gradual enough. I went 3 days with no xanax and it didnt go well. So I take a little piece in the morning which seemed to be ok. As of today though, it's gone up to now 1/3 of what my regular dose was. No one seems worried about it at all, and frankly, it still surprises me that I'm not being told xanax is a bad idea, but the baby is healthy. They are more worried about my borderline blood pressure than anything else and dont even bring up the xanax at all at my visits. Very interesting. But I think for someone like me, th husbandis will be my only pregnancy! I learned something valuable about myself I didnt know before, I am a control freak. When you're pregnant, you have zero control over what is happening with your body and very little control over your moods/mind. It's an uncomfortable situation for someone who needs a routine, structure and stability in order to feel ok and keep anxiety down. There's a lot of added stress, worry, and responsibility. While I know I have to deal with this and figure it out, it surely is the hardest thing I've had to do in a long long time!

Zoogirl, I wish you the very best of luck with this. You are so right about having no control during pregnancy. When I was pg with my only child, my daughter, my new husband whom I had only known for six months before marriage, constantly berated and criticized me. At that time, I had no self-defense skills whatsoever. I cried all the time. He got much worse after I gave birth, so I left him. I have never regretted that. He tried to terrorize me for about 10 years afterwards. His ego was so damaged, I guess, plus he was a very cold, cruel individual His second wife had two daughters and she also left him. She and I are friends now. I was lucky to have very supportive parents at that time, although they were on his side, not knowing the full details of my awful life with him. Gee, I didn't think I'd tell you the story of my first marriage! I had one more and left him also; very bad choice but I set myself free and have been free since then.

If I go off Xanax again, I will have to do it much, much more slowly, been on it for 15-20 years, sadly. I feel that the past doc who put me on it was quite dangerous and absolutely nuts; she didn't believe anything I told her. Ever.

Yes, you have a big challenge now. Sounds like you have a good pdoc who can help you. The only way I know how to deal with anxiety at the moment is to rest, sleep and meditate as much as I can. I need to have foot surgery because of ingrown toenails on left foot. After that I can maybe walk it (the anxiety) all off! Am a bit agoraphobic now. Plus I will try CBT. Loving friends and family can possibly help you with emotional support. Maybe you can design your own new and different types of routine, structure and stability, as it sure changes after you give birth to your child, one of the most wonderful experiences of my life(!), which I did all alone; husband deserted me during labor, couldn't handle it. It will all change, but you CAN have some control over it as you go along. Do it all YOUR way! I wish you the best of luck with this. PM me if you like. Would love to hear about your baby!
Sincerely,
PrairieCat

[ashland]

I would be careful coming off Xanax .

[-jimi-]

I don't plan coming off it but I plan to keep down my dosage more. I do notice I have issues with short term memory and forming new memories on a too high dosage. I usually take 0.75 mg but it is too much and I will strive to be OK on 0.25-0.5 mg. And use the med more PRN compared to how I have the last years.

I also have a long history of anxiety, back to when I was around 6. I think it's then children start to learn they are not safe in the world (if they had decent parents like mine and no accidents or trauma), noticing people get sick, suffer, die, how much unfairness there is out there, how life actually always hangs in the balance.

I was quite sensitive so those things freaked me out, I think I basically freaked myself out just by looking at the world. I don't think any adult guidance could have stopped this, I would just have seen through it if it had been a lie. I wasn't badly treated or anything.

[PrairieCat]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

I don't plan coming off it but I plan to keep down my dosage more. I do notice I have issues with short term memory and forming new memories on a too high dosage. I usually take 0.75 mg but it is too much and I will strive to be OK on 0.25-0.5 mg. And use the med more PRN compared to how I have the last years.

I also have a long history of anxiety, back to when I was around 6. I think it's then children start to learn they are not safe in the world (if they had decent parents like mine and no accidents or trauma), noticing people get sick, suffer, die, how much unfairness there is out there, how life actually always hangs in the balance.

I was quite sensitive so those things freaked me out, I think I basically freaked myself out just by looking at the world. I don't think any adult guidance could have stopped this, I would just have seen through it if it had been a lie. I wasn't badly treated or anything.

Thank you! I can sure relate to what you say here. I was anxious as a child and I believe it was because I never felt safe and my mom had too many kids and worked full time (24/7!) at my parents' business. I was fairly safe, but it had to do with where we lived, on a main highway behind the business with motels on each side of our property. I know that a grown man who lived next door and worked in the grocery store was stalking me. There was another of the same kind who I met at the city swimming pool; he was masquarading as much younger than he was. Also I had to work in the business and I was horribly shy. Strange people came in. I had no idea how to wait on people and was sometimes left alone there, was taught nothing. I was too young for that.

Geeze, how I wish I had thought of just staying on a very low dose of Xanax instead of going back on 1 mg., but I was really suffering from panic attacks and anxiety. I will know better the next time and will go down much, much slower.

I have always been super-duper, extra sensitive to everything also. Nobody else in my family was like that at all. I would rather be me than any of them, though! Thank you for sharing your experience.

PrairieCat

[PrairieCat]

Originally Posted by ashland

I would be careful coming off Xanax .

Yes, thank you! Next time, I need to go off much more slowly than I did. I think pdoc did not consider how long I had been ON it. Wish I had not gone back on full dose of 1 mg. but I just did not think of it, was in such bad shape.

PrairieCat

[justaguy14]

I find xanax to be a short term drug only to be used be really needed. It kicks it quick and is great for fast relief but has a very short half life which leads to a "crash" and can make it addicting to those that have that kind of personality. Klonopin is much better for long term use as it has a much longer half life and a much smoother affect. Xanax basically treats panic attacks while Klonopin prevents them. I have been on 1mg of Klonopin 3 times a day (usually around every 8-9 hours but sometimes skip a dose) for over a year and have had no negative side effects nor have I built a tolerence and needed to take more. I still alos keep a prescription for Xanax but only take it a few times a year to deal with hard core stress. Haven't had a single panic attack since starting on Klonopin and I have a high stress job that requires a good amount of public speaking. Basically the Klonopin won't let your body go into full fledged panic mode. You still feel some anxiety but not the " I need to run out of the room" feeling. I will take it for the rest of my life if needed.

PS- I find most of the people who say benzos are bad or had bad experiences on them were abusing them. Alot of people mix them with illegal drugs and alcohol and then blame the benzos for their problems. Maybe if they weren't using it to come down from a coke high or enhance their binge drinking, they wouldn't have a problem.