[erysichthon]

Does anyone ever feel like they're just not suited for life, that they were just born weak and maladaptive, destined to be destroyed by the mean, scary world? And then add, to your own detriment, that you absolutely should be strong and cool in the face of stress? It's a nasty solution, like bleach and bile.

And then, if one takes medication, that getting better through it is just being fake, artificial, while the real you is a clump of useless matter?

My God, do the negative thoughts ever go away? Granted, I have successfully overcome some very virulent thoughts through disputation, but sometimes they come so thick and fast that one can seemingly do nothing but collapse under it.

"why, why must we never be sure til we die, or have killed for an answer" genesis

[Meta]

Hi erysichton,

I can definitely relate to what you have written. I think sometime I am my own worst enemy because I do think that thinking so negatively about ourselves doesn't help us. And demanding so much perfection from ourselves at the same time doesn't help either.

I do know that reading posts such as yours is helpful because it is so easy to feel like I am the only one who thinks and feels like this.

It is hard for me to remember to be gentle with myself as I would with a friend.
So I'll remind you too:

Be gentle with yourself, my friend.

Meta

[therealme]

who is the one we blame
who is the one in shame
who is the one we cant see
who's is the voice inside me
who's the one we hurt the most
who's the one we treat like a ghost

[Talulah]

You hit the nail on the head, I have used the same words so many times before and wonder if anyone can relate.

The world is too much for me most of the time, I'm articulate and bright and I just can't understand why I'm so affected and weak and fearful....I've often thought I'm just not cut out the way others are to deal with the world, the people, the issues, the badness, the ruins---life.

I've fought like hell, most my life to maintain control over my feelings and have just resorted to antidepressants for the anxiety and depression I couldn't shrug off. Feeling weak and artificial too...I tell my t this feels so "fake". Funny, I'm not alone on this. Why am I not better equipped?

I ask her (my t) if some people are just born "marked" or if we become so during our youth, so as to never remove the stains. I feel ppl can 'smell' or sense this inside me making me always show others of my weaknesses, even when i try to save face. I tell her so many others are this way, we are so affected by everything, it hurts and it hurts and it is so heavy....

[Soidhonia]

Hello I hope things get better fro you soon. It is okay to feel rejected at times, but it is also okay to feel that meds are a positive solution to the negative response to life. It is okay to feel better, even if you have to take meds to accomplish this task. Take care I wish you all the best. Take care Soidhonia

[mistyberkowitz]

I can so relate to all you folks-- thanks for showing your hearts! I walk around feeling like I'm watching over my own shoulder, watching for subtle signs from other people, expressions, tone of voice...i'm just too sensitive, and people take advantage of that. It is like they *know* ...the anger, the badness...i just feel it all too much. Thanks for reading.