[sabby]

*Sigh*

Here we go again. That damned anxiety about going out for what should be a fun time with some folks I haven't seen in awhile and some folks I have. I go out so rarely these days. Too many other things keeping me busy most times. Oh who the hell am I kidding??? The biggest thing keeping me home is my anxiety. It freakin sucks big time.

A huge part of me wants to go out, socialize, enjoy dinner and a drink or two, maybe even get up and dance...ummmm no....scratch the dancing part....LOL. But you get my drift....I really WANT to see these folks and have a good time, but dammit....the other part of me is saying..NO, stay home and veg out. *sigh*

I hate this internal battle

[Rio_]

((((Sabau))))

How about if you do go, but think of a way to excuse yourself in case it does get too much? Sometimes I find myself dreading a social situation, but when I actually get there I really enjoy it.

It's your decision, though. Good luck!

[sabby]

Thanks Rio for the suggestion, much appreciated

I did end up going...and I had a very nice time. I knew I would once I got there. The folks I was with are funny and uplifting and postive and we laugh a lot.

It's just that initial push out the door that I need sometimes LOL

((((Rio))))

J

[Juliana]

Oh, I can relate Sabau.

I recently made a rule for myself. I will say yes to at least 2 social outings per week whether I want to or not. I used to have agoraphobia and even though I got better and went back to work, I was still avoiding socializing. Part of me would want to say yes because I want to see my friends, but the anxiety was more powerful.

At my new job, there are lots of social/work events that I HAVE to go to and what I have found out is that I usually have fun once I'm there. So, the more I do this social stuff, the easier it gets. My anxiety is lessening and I'm actually enjoying myself.

When I have the option to say NO to a social outing, that's my first impulse, but I have been making myself say YES. I see it as part of my therapy -- exposure therapy. The more I do it, the more natural it will seem and the less anxiety I will have. I don't want to go back to being agoraphobic, so I have to fight the avoidance urge. The avoidance tends to spiral if I don't challenge myself and before I know it, I'm not socializing at all.

Maybe you could set yourself a goal. For instance, tell yourself, I will say YES to a social outing X times per month. Tell yourself you can leave if you're not having a good time and you're having a lot of anxiety. Maybe choose outings that are close to home if that makes you feel more comfortable, and remind yourself that you don't have to stay if you don't want to. That way, it doesn't seem like a huge commitment and it's less anxiety-inducing. It's so tempting to just shut ourselves away where we feel safe, but getting together with friends can be rejuvenating. I hope you're able to get out once in a while and enjoy yourself... and I hope that the more you do it, the more you enjoy it, and your anxiety will lessen. ((((Hugs))))) to you. I know how tough this is.

P.S. I'm going out for a birthday dinner with friends tonight. I have been looking forward to it for 2 weeks, but of course I woke up this morning filled with anxiety, my stomach tied in knots, etc. I keep having little flashes of wanting to make up some excuse why I can't go, but I am DETERMINED to go and I am DETERMINED to have a good time. If I stay home and miss out on something I have been looking forward to, I know I'll regret it.

[Juliana]

I just read your second post. Yay! I'm so proud of you. I'm so glad you went and I'm so glad you had a good time. That's wonderful news. I hope this will make it easier for you to go out NEXT time, and the time after that, etc.

[sabby]

((((Juliana)))))

Thank you so much for your suggestions and telling me how you deal with the anxiety. It is sound advice that you give and I do so appreciate it!

I've been going through this anxiety for a couple of months now. It has resurfaced after being gone for many years. It absolutely ticks me off that I go through this. And I wonder sometimes if what I really need is to hibrenate for a time to regroup and rejuvenate myself. Who knows, maybe I'm just kidding myself thinking that way too....sometimes I just don't know.

Anyhow, thank you so much for your uplifting comments and support. I wish you well in your fight against the anxiety too!

Hugssssssss
J

[Rio_]

No problem. That's great you had such a good time! I know what you mean about needing pushed out the door sometimes.

[Phillipa]

Hi I joined tonight. I have had panic attacks since I was 24. I was first given benzos in the 70's and have continued with them different ones at different times and different doses depending on what was going on in my life. Many pdcos suggested and tried multiple antidepressants make anxiety worse not just for a few weeks but for too long so the discontinue them . My heredity is full of hypo and hyper thyroidism and a hx of chronic lymes disease. I recently started treatment with a new pdoc who has long waiting lists of people from other states too and he said no no antidepressants for me or antipsychotics and to go off the only ad I could tolerate but didn't help luvox. So now I'm only only xanax long lasting and lunesta 3mg for sleep. Any help or comments appreciated as this long lating xanax seems more subtle than regular and I seem to be gathering strenth again to confront the world and at the same time weaning off luvox, valiam too. Thanks Phlllipa

[Talulah]

Hi Sab.......kudos on following through with your plans! I am fearful to make them, cause I always seem to break them......

Hope I can follow your lead!

((((((((((((((((Sab)))))))))))))))))))