Wanting to be liked!

Hi

Why do we strive so hard to be liked, the ones among us who suffer in this way? Is it maybe a lack of confidence? Or could it be an overstuffed ego? Or a bit of both!

I can't decide, because sometimes I think it's one thing and then the other, according to how I'm feeling and who I'm with.

FG

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Hi

Why do we strive so hard to be liked, the ones among us who suffer in this way? Is it maybe a lack of confidence? Or could it be an overstuffed ego? Or a bit of both!

I can't decide, because sometimes I think it's one thing and then the other, according to how I'm feeling and who I'm with.

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I wish I could see it from an outside perspective and tell you what I see. But my life seems to revolve around what I think other people are thinking about me... even though they're really not thinking what I'm thinkin' they're thinking.

For me, it's a complete lack of confidence... and even when I can find that confidence, it's gone the very next minute. It's kind of an uncontrollable twist in my head that makes me hate myself even more... which makes my life seem even more meaningless... which leads me to where I am now... here, by myself, alone and without anyone I feel can trust.

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InKoGNiToS said:
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which makes my life seem even more meaningless... which leads me to where I am now... here, by myself, alone and without anyone I feel can trust.

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Hi Inkognitos,

Welcome to PC, and please believe that here you will be accepted and be able to find some support. We know the score here, and we look after each other pretty well.

Good thoughts,

M

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funnygirl said:
Hi

Why do we strive so hard to be liked, the ones among us who suffer in this way? Is it maybe a lack of confidence? Or could it be an overstuffed ego? Or a bit of both!

I can't decide, because sometimes I think it's one thing and then the other, according to how I'm feeling and who I'm with.

FG

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Hi Funnygirl,

You make a wise analysis of the problems some of us face. We seem to swing to the extremes, rather than taking the middle path, and I think that is a feature of the kind of illnesses we cope with.

One thing is clear; trying hard to be liked by everyone is not the best strategy for a happy life. It's an impossible goal!

My feeling is that it is mainly a confidence thing, and it goes deep - unfortunately.

Good thoughts, M

Ahhh.....the age old question, Why do we try so hard for others to like us?

I think for many different reasons. I guess acceptance is a biggie. If someone doesnt like us we will automatically blame ourself and think that there is something wrong with us. So we try harder, most times going out of the realm of what we would normaly do to make friends because we want so badly to be accepted.

Does that make sense?

Also, I think we define ourself by how well we are liked. We shouldnt but I feel alot of us do it. If we are not well liked, well, again, we will take the blame on that too and assume that it is our fault for one reason or another.

I tend to beleive that alot of these traits can be traced back to our child hood. Feeling abandoned and alone can make us, as adults, go out of our way to feel accepted.

I think that therapy and a whole lot of soul searching as to why we choose to go out of our way and to go to such extremes for acceptance is the key to changing our behavior. We have to get to the point where we are confident and secure with ourself that acceptance from others will eventually become less important. The old saying "We must love ourself before we can love someone else" to me rings true. I think that we have to get to know ourself, like ourself, love ourself and that the positivity we put out will be noticed by those around us.....thus, making it easier to find quality friends that we will not have to go to extremes to impress.

I don't know the answers for this one, but I do know that I'm like so many others, searching and searching for people to like me!

I guess you could say I'd do almost anything to get people to like me...I can get pretty desperate at times. I just feel terrible when I'm not liked.

Its HUMAN NATURE.... to be liked and to like - we are all made by design to NEED other people, in friendship and in love.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I don't care what anyone thinks, except DocJohn and the administrators. They have the final say here.

Dear Michael,

Not for sure what exactly you meant by your comment, but I do believe the original poster was just talking about how she feels in general in LIFE and not necessarily how she feels here toward any one on the forums.... she was needing support, for a troubling emotion of hers.

>>>>>>> PeAcE

LoVe,
Rhapsody -