[SandyWeb]

I'm not sure if this is the correct category to pose this question under, but since my main "label" is anxiety, I figured I'd give it a shot.

I don't sleep well at all....for years. I think it is ingrained as a self-protective mechanism. Even though I've been separated from my husband for a number of years now and the kids and I are safe, he used to do things to me in bed......such as smothering with a pillow (which was bearable because I could get my head turned just a little and contort my mouth in a way that allowed some air in), and his favorite was suffocating (wrapping his hands around my neck and being so angry (while I couldn't breathe in, breathe out, swallow, or make a single sound....the throat is completely closed off. And when he would be done, my throat felt like the size of a pencil and I would have to just keep swallowing and swallowing). Among other things, those were the two worse that he did in bed.

So when I "sleep" now, I am always awake as well. I may be following somewhat of a dream, but I can still hear the cat padding into my bedroom before he jumps up beside me to have his belly rubbed. I'll sleep for a few minutes, but I'm just always aware. I'm not scared or anxious. I feel perfectly safe in my home because I always pick out an apartment that is practically impossible to break into (unless you're Spiderman or can kick through metal doors and frames). But my brain just will not let me sleep, even with countless sleeping pills that I've tried. Maybe this should have been posted under PTSD. I don't know.

ANYWAYS......my question is about AUDITORY hallucinations. I have woken up (if you want to call it that) to someone urgently whispering "Mummy", "Mum", or "Sandra". And I immediately open my eyes and ask, "What?" It is the oddest thing. The urgent whisper sounds OUTSIDE my head....like someone is actually talking....not like a dream or anything. It doesn't scare me. Makes me feel rather foolish for saying, "What?", in the middle of the night! Lol. Probably freaks the cat out.

And I live alone. My son moved out....again.....about a month ago. And my daughter stays with her grandparents during the school year because she likes the school system better in that area then where I live.

Only my daughter calls me "Mummy", and only my son calls me "Mum". My sister and mother usually call me "Sandy", but mum does call me "Sandra" as well.....I kind-of think it's her voice.

Do you answer your auditory hallucinations? Lol. It's just real odd. I'd be interested to know how many people "wake up" to a voice and respond to it.

God bless,
Sandy

[Soidhonia]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central. I feel that you should think about consulting a professional since you are not sleeping and regarding the other issues you are having at this time. A physical may be in order as well to rule out any medical conditions. I hope things get better for you soon. Take care and good day. Soidhonia

[Juliana]

Hi Sandy. Something similar happened to me a number of times when I first left home and moved into a university dorm. I was very happy and I loved it there. I had been somewhat of a mother to my own mother when I was a teenager, so I was worried about her -- worried about leaving her behind because we were so close and she depended on me and I knew how much she missed me... and I felt quite guilty that I felt so free and didn't miss her nearly as much as she missed me... or nearly as much as I felt I should have.

Anyway, for the first few months, occasionally, I would be startled awake by her voice saying my name clearly and urgently. I could hear it so clearly. The first couple of times it happened, I actually ran down the hallway to the payphone and called home because I thought something had happened to her... and just had to know that she was okay. Over time, I got used to it happening on occasion and knew it was just a dream -- just my anxious subconscious calling out to me, and then, eventually, it stopped completely. I got used to my new life -- all the changes -- and I knew my mum was okay.

So, maybe you have some anxiety about being alone. Maybe you're worried about your children... worried that they need you. Maybe you're so used to being vigilant about protecting them, your subconscious is still focused on that... or perhaps deep down you're sort of grieving that they're not there. It sounds like your mind isn't shutting off. You're not getting any rest from your thoughts and anxiety is creeping in when you're half-asleep.

You should talk to your doc about your trouble sleeping. You really need to get some good, deep sleep for your health. ((Hugs)) to you.

[SandyWeb]

Hi neighbor (Julianna)

You're a sweetie. I'm glad that nothing ever had happened to your mum. You just love her an awful lot! Also glad you had money for the payphone or you might have had a panic attack! Lol.

We've tried just about everything to help me to sleep. Nothing really seems to work. I was saying that I need to buy one of those cartoon anvils from the old Bugs Bunny Show. That always seemed to knock those critters out good!!!

Have a great day tomorrow. Isn't it wonderful that we're seeing the sun again? Then again, I don't know what tomorrow's weather is supposed to be. I probably just jinxed us. Ha ha.

Take care. Have fun at work.

God bless,
Sandy

[Juliana]

Do NOT hit yourself with an anvil! LOL. I hope you can find something that works. You need some sleep!

Today was lovely, wasn't it? I just checked our weather for tomorrow -- 8C and sunny. Not so bad. I'll take it... So much better than two weeks ago. It's nice being able to leave the toque, gloves and scarf at home, isn't it?

[heyjoe]

That happens to me also..i hear a voice and wake up. Sometimes i hear a voice when i am awake. It is always just one word and like you say sometimes in a voice i recognize...i have actually searched the whole house and outside to see if anyone was there..haha

[southernyankee]

I've heard voices too. Only they came from inside my head. I'd be almost asleep or maybe I was asleep. I do have DID or MPD. Anyway a few times it sounded like my mother and she was mad at me. Other times it was just a female voice and it would feel like they were trying to get my attention for what ever reason. All the voices would ever say is my name.
One time I had a voice that seemed to come from the corner of the of the room up high. It seemed to me it was my grandmother, my father's mom( who passed away in the 70's). I felt like a little girl ( I was in my 40's) again and what she said scared the crap out of me. "So, you perceive to know something devil's spawn?" Perceive? Just seemed an odd word for anyone in my family to use. Devil's Spawn? Creepy!!!!

[heyjoe]

ok i wasnt going to post this...but one time i was in a lot of danger.....in a situation of imminent death and i was trying to get away, but could never have outrun it, when i heard my fathers voice as clear as a bell go to the right which i did and found shelter. My father died in 1984. This was 2001.