[therealme]

no not the god up high, this is the doctor that tell the goverment if i an ill or a fake.
im feeling like i have no control over myself or what is happening around me, not sure what to expect tomorrow.
am i scared ? ....... hell yes, this man doesnt know me and he has the power to send me back to my living nightmare, called realworld.
do i feel better ? .............. no, im still the same person that worries about just about everything, the person how fights with the urge to end it all, everyday.
this meeting with this mortal god, is ripping me apart inside, the acid taste is in my mouth and throut , i have started to turn off when people (family) talk to me.
it the moment im anxiety x100.

((((((((((((((((((dec)))))))))))))))))))))))

i went today to pdoc

its not easy i wont lie, but the only way to be well, to stop this torture, to stop the dreams and the hurt and the fear. i'm with you, maybe we can do this together, i felt sick before i went, sicker when i came out - but this is recovery, not easy but
has to be done - please my friend go to the doc, keep me posted as i will you, it needs to be done.

love,

[therealme]

thank you kerry, its 00.50 am , i have to see this doctor at 13.55.
to scared to go to bed, because if i sleep the time will be here sooner

[sabby]

((((((((Dec)))))))))

I wish there was a way I could help you with your anxiety over all this. I can only imagine what you are going through. Please know that I'm in your corner and sending you strength and positive vibes through the net and over the big pond!

Hugsssss
J

[therealme]

thank you (((((((((sabau)))))))), i can only hope now that this doctor knows what he's doing.
(((((((((((american cousins))))))))))

[sabby]

Yes....I hope so too hon.

All you can do is be as honest as you can with him. He isn't a mind reader...just a doctor. You are in my prayers!

Hugssss
J

btw...I've got scottish blood grands were from dundee and alyth

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((( Dec )))))))))))))))))
Hoping it goes well dear Dec, I'll be thinking of you

[Calm]

therealme, I hope you were able to get through the meeting well, and you'll be able to get the help you hope for.

[Perna]

So, what happened, real?????

[therealme]

today i went to see this doctor, it wasnt a pdoc, this doctor is to review my benifits,
when i first saw the doctor i was calmed by the fact the doctor was a woman, she called me into a examination room, offered me a coffee and asked if i wanted katheryn to join us, i replied no to both these questions. she then went on to ask me three questions.
1. what meds do i take ...........
2. do i still have feelings of ending it.............
3. do i go out much ............

my answers where hard to talk about, so i just shut my eyes and went for it.

1. mirtazapine , lansoprazole ,
2. yes most days
3. i only go out when im with katheryn or the kids.

the meeting lasted for about 5 minutes, and it ended with this doctor holding my hands and telling me " your so brave for coming to see me" and " i know how hard it must of been for you "

so now i wait, wait for her to write her report and send it to head office. so i still dont know if im ill or a fake.

on a better note................ i have an appointment with my pdoc in june, it arrived this morning, so soon maybe i will get some meds that work for me.
thank you all
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
dec xox

[sabby]

((((((((((((((((((dec)))))))))))))))))))

I'm so glad you were able to feel fairly relaxed with this woman. Doesn't it always seem the way that we work ourselves up worrying over something, and most of the time, the worst never happens???

She sounds like a very sensitive and caring individual. I pray her report is in your favor! Great news about the pdoc appt. too! See??? Things are beginning to roll right for you. You are on an upswing now baby!!!

Hugssssssss
J

[therealme]

thanks j ?
i was panicing about nothing again. it took so much to be able to walk into see her and when i did it was all over before i had chance to blink.
my pdoc appointment is wonderful news , just have to wait till june now though.
(((((((((((((((((( J ))))))))))))))))))
dec xox

so glad it went well dec!

[sabby]

May I suggest something for you to do when you start to perseverate over an issue you believe will go badly??

I've learned to do this as I have a tendancy to over worry about things. But I am also a planner too, so this is what I do.

1. Write down the issue in Big Letter at the top of the paper.

2. Draw a line down the middle of the paper

3. List on one side of the paper, the worst that could happen in that situation

4. List on the other side of the paper, the best and/or most logical things that can happen.

5. Review the worst side. What can you "plan" to do to recover from the worst possible happening? Write it down.

6. Review the best side of the paper. Tell yourself over and over again that 95% of the time, the worst does NOT happen in most situations.

The thing with this is that you have to be completely honest and logical about the bad/good possible outcomes. It helps us to learn how to prepare for things that bother us and give us anxiety. When we have a plan in place, we are more likely to be more comfortable and not shocked when the worst does happen (which is rare)

I hope you try it out and practice it. I think you will find that you will train yourself to think more logically and feel less emotionally about issues in your life. Good luck with it ((((((((((((((((((((dec)))))))))))))))))))))

xoxox
Jean

[therealme]

((((((((((((julia))))))))))
(((((((((((jean))))))))))

dec you're brill!!!!!!!

fingers crossed cos obviously you'll get what you need i feel it and you're so brave.

love you x millions

kerry xoxoxoxoxoxo