[Gabby2007]

I'm new here and fairly overwhelmed at the vastness of the site. Been poking around a bit and decided to post.

I've got a long list of projects to do, and yet I can't seem to make progress as I get bogged down researching all the options - it's exhausting!

Been eight months since we moved here and I need window coverings! I really need to decide on plants to place at the front foundation, but I'm in brainlock! As soon as I get those in place, it'll be something else!

The worst part is worrying that something terrible will happen to my family...I'm married with three kids and constantly obsessing about 'what would happen if' and then I plan out contingency plans - just in case.

There is good reason to worry (I say to myself), better not fly in a plane: that's how my parents died when I was ten. Better wear your seatbelt: that's how my brother broke his neck and became a quadraplegic. And the anxiety about abandonment is just the worst incidious thing: I was passed around quite alot after my parents died, none of my grandparents wanted to take me in....so I am not clear if I push people away, or just don't get the social stuff.

i am so sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. you've got quite a history and it's no wonder that you worry a lot.

do you see a physician? or a Pdoc? Therapist? i feel that you need someone IRL to talk to and get all of this out. would that be possible for you?

continue to post here and keep me updated. xoxoxo pat

[Gabby2007]

fayerody,
gosh, I was having anxiety about responses to my post LOL.

I have seen a therapist off and on for a couple of years, then took most of last year off (moving, fixing up new house, settling kids into new schools, etc), then regrettfully my deductible went way up.

Long story but I picked out a new therapist and saw her five times (she's the one who gave me diagnosis of OCD). The other one just GAD I guess. Then I got this letter last weekend the new therapist is resigning and no way am I going to make the drive where she's moving to.

Today I spent about four hours totally imobile with anxiety - and I had just gotten off the phone with HMO booking appointment with someone new - a five week wait. ugh.

btw, what is IRL, I can't for the life of me think of anything LOL

you know I felt almost normal until my kids started arriving at 10 years of age, (I felt whole as a person up until my folks died), but the anxiety has been horrible since, it's a wierd mixture of being a Motherless Mother, and reflecting on the abusive families I lived with since that time. I've felt empty with nothing to give my kids, as I didn't get it.

anyway, thanks alot for responding, helped me feel cared for.

IRL= in real life

[Gabby2007]

oh, of course! thanks.

[Soidhonia]

Hello Gabby.
Welcome to Psych Central. I am glad to hear that you have made an appointment with the HMO for treatment. There is also a chat room here at Psych central in case you would like to talk to someone in person. Take care and good day. Soidhonia