[tmarie]

does anyone else ever feel like everyone's eyes are on you, watching your every move, criticizing how you walk, dress, present yourself, etc? i'll be walking to class, and if i trip over my feet or something, like everyone does, i feel like everyone around me has seen it, and they're all laughing at me and thinking how stupid and clumsy i am for doing that. even if i don't trip, most of the time i feel like people's eyes are on me. since all my friends are student teaching now, and i'm a psyc major, i always have to walk to class by myself, and feel like everyone is looking at me and thinking that i'm some kind of loser cuz i'm by myself (although many people i pass are alone as well). i think it probably started back in middle school or high school. i was never in the "popular" crowd, and if you weren't one of them, you just plain weren't good enough, and that they were always looking down on you. my college also has a lot of those "popular/cliquey" people here, and they're always in these huge groups, and when i hear them laugh, i think they're laughing at me, because i did something stupid or because i'm by myself and they're not. same thing in other situations...i.e. the mall. if i'm there by myself, or split up from who ever i went there with, i feel like everyone is staring at me thinking "that poor dumb girl...she has no friends...she's here all by herself...what a loser..." and so on. i know its so stupid, i don't even notice when people are by themselves, but of course i'm always too focused on everyone staring at me...i know this all sounds soooo stupid, but i just needed to get this out.....thanks for the ear.......

"I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I'll stop missing you." ~Anonymous

[collegefriend]

i know exactly what you are going through. I hate having to walk beside groups of people on my way to class because i feel like after i walk by they are talking about me. Sometimes I even hate leaving my group of friends because i believe they start to talk about me behind my back. I know it silly but i can't help it. i also was not very popular in MS/HS I was and still not a very sociable person i would much rather be in my room watching TV or reading.

[kelbelle65]

I do that too! I always feel like I'm not walking naturally when I walk by people, like if I have to use the bathroom in a restaurant. I try to walk with confidence, but I feel like everyone is looking at me and noticing that I am uncomfortable walking by them. I hate that! I always wish I could walk like Meg Ryan does in her movies. Isn't that silly? But she has a great walk in "You've Got Mail" and in "City of Angels"... You are not alone with this one... I also have a weird thing about people looking at me when I'm in my truck at a stop light. I can't bring myself to look around because I'm afraid someone is going to be looking right at me and I won't know what to do. I told a therapist about that once and she suggested that I force myself to look at the person next to me and smile. But I'm afraid to because what if it's a guy and they think I'm coming on to them and follow me? ACK! I am 38 and I've been dealing with the "all eyes on me" thing since high school. The only thing I can say is that when I am having a rare confident day, I can step outside of that and realize that people are soooooooooo self-absorbed these days (maybe they've always been...) that I'm pretty sure nobody is looking at us or laughing at us and if they are laughing, it is because THEY are insecure about themselves, so they are no better than us. Keep that in mind. Nobody is any better than anyone else. We all have to realize our personal power and we can get over some of this stuff... it's just hard sometimes to find your personal power when disorders and phobias and chemical imbalances are in the foreground of our lives...

hope that helped a wee bit... it helps me to know I'm not alone, that's for sure. thanks!

[lonelygirl1]

Hi tmarie... I am a little bit late in replying to this, but I just joined this site yesterday! I noticed that you haven't posted here in about a month, so I hope everything's ok.

I can relate to a lot of what you said. Like you, I am a college student in my last semester as an undergad (though I am majoring in engineering). I am sooooo sick of school -- I just want to get out of here!

I always feel like people are watching me and laughing at me too. It's not about being alone (I actually have no friends at all, nor a boyfriend, so I am always alone, but that's not usually what I worry about); I am overweight and very self-conscious about it. I feel very vulnerable because ANYONE can merely look at me and laugh at me for being overweight. I don't even have to say or do anyting stupid -- just by being visible, I leave myself open to ridicule. People make a lot of judgments about overweight people (e.g., fat people are lazy, stupid, etc.). It seems like you have similar feelings being alone -- that just by appearing in public alone, you are vulnerable to being judged by anyone who sees you.

[SeptemberMorn]

Yup. I know what you mean but here's something to focus on so that you can overcome that feeling:

if i trip over my feet or something, like everyone does

although many people i pass are alone as well

i don't even notice when people are by themselves

One of the problems I see with society today is that no one seems to want to make contact with anyone else. One of my pet peeves are those hubby and I call "oblivians." There are so dang many of them out there! JEEEEZ!! They are completely oblivious to those around them to the point that they don't even notice if they stop right in your path or they bump into you without so much as an "excuse me." You think that they are going to notice that you tripped or that you're walking alone? Not a chance! LOL

I know it's tough to get over, but you can do it! I did... so you can, too!

Oh... and if you look up and catch someone looking at you? Smile! They'll think what a friendly person you are!





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[Beautiful_Pain]

Oh...yes, I hadn't talked to anyone else who had the same feeling before!

*sighs in relief*

Meh, I don't even like to drive for similar reasons: people watching and judging my driving. Though I'm sure it isn't true...I can't convince myself it's not