Why are you anxious?

i think sometimes it is past experiences that i feel i failed at. driving very long distances makes me very anxious and i do not drive interstates because of anxiety. i think this comes from going very far away from home for college and what a negative experience that was. being 17 and getting lost trying to find an airport in a place i didn't know. trying to make it home in a snowstorm only to feel unwelcome once i got there. the sum of all these experiences that were so awful at the time. one after another failed friendships in my life. that has led to no interest in trying to talk to people or make friends. idk i also come from a long line of worriers i think it is all these things combined as to the "why".

Relationships with other people make me anxious. Interacting with people at work isn't hard because I can keep them at a distance. But getting close to people is hard. I also get anxious about my romantic relationship because of previous experiences, which causes me to pick everything apart and only able to see the negatives. In that negative mind space, I start questioning my happiness and whether I might be happier single, even though I logically know my relationship is great.

I guess that's what causes me to feel anxious now. As to why I feel anxious: I was in an abusive relationship through high school and my first year of college. I didn't know how to ask for help and I pushed everyone in my life away. I put up walls so everyone would think I was fine, but I was severely depressed and on the verge of suicide. Compounded by the fact that as a child I felt very isolated in my family because I was very different: intellectual instead of athletic, interested in video games and toys instead of the outdoors. Also, my family isn't very emotionally expressive; we all tend to internalize.

Social situations, odd numbers except 7&13, nothing at all...

I am anxious about pretty much everything. Life, the future, making wrong decisions, making mistakes, looking foolish, money, everything. One thing I can actually put my finger on is social situations. People and having to talk/be around people makes me crazy. Sets off anxiety/panic attacks. Having to sit still or stay in one place or do the same thing over and over causes me anxiety. Also lots of movement and loud noises/lots of talking/yelling. Sometimes driving. Talking/conversing. Lots of stuff.

I like being in control. To me 'confidence' is some alien concept, and I cannot understand. I only feel confident when I'm 100% sure of myself or something happening, but I know that's not possible in most cases. Other people seem to be confident even if they're entirely not in control.

I'm always anxious, am I looking presentable enough? Am I making people feel uncomfortable? Will I succeed if I put all my effort into something or should I just not try because there's always the chance of failure and I hate failing?

Social situations and when I have to find my way around in unfamiliar places. I am terrified of getting lost.

Any time I spend outside of my house makes me anxious

I have generalized anxiety disorder along with schitzoaffective disorder.

I constantly worry and dwell in my head. It's not healthy at all, but it also feels like I can't control it...

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i certainly get anxious in social situations, and like was said also about the future

i honestly think it's life that makes me anxious. life and it's unpredictablility

nothing's really certain