[SunshineGold03]

I don't know what happened tonight one minute I was watching TV and the next minute my inner thigh started to bother me alot so I started thinking what if my lymph is swollen, what if it is swollen because I have cancer, if the cancer is the lymph nodes then I have progressive cancer and will do soon. You know the whole snowball effect of OCD thinking going from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds flat. This caused me to go right into panic attack mode couldn't breath, ringing in the ears, sweaty, etc. I took 1.5mg of my Klonopin which totally hate doing. And then sat done and began to cry which I am still doing because then everything just started hitting me at once the fact that I can't seem to land a job, we have not been able to produce children yet, we have little money to speak of, and I have gained 60lbs over the past 2 years and use to be super thin....its just all getting to me and all I want to do now is get drunk and numb myself I suppose.
Having a really bad night.

Jenn

[(JD)]

yeah... pretty bad anxiety... do you get any chance, during one of these attacks, to THINK good stuff? Like, wait... breathe... STOP that thinking like that... I'm okay ??? and then reacquaint yourself with your surroundings, like, it's ok, I'm really ok right now, stuff like that for attacks?

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[SunshineGold03]

Sometimes I stop and think and say everythings okay but last night I just couldn't. But I am feeling much better this morning.

Jenn

[kelbelle65]

Hi Sunshine,

I'm sorry that happened to you. I can totally relate! I have been feeling my lymph nodes for days and wondering if I have cancer. I would normally have gone to the dr. by now but I'm embarrassed because about 6 months ago I made a fool of myself going to the dr. 5 times telling them to check me for cancer. Now the scary part is that my husband has told me that I "usually" have bad breath! How much does that suck??!! Now I have to be anxious about whether my breath is bad... not to mention chronic halitosis can be a sign of a serious disease. So the other day, I came across a little magazine blurb explaining an easy way to test your own breath (lick the inside of your wrist, wait 4 seconds and then smell it) and it hasn't smelled too bad to me most times I check, so that's been a relief. I started flossing more regularly and I think that has helped. (I'm picturing you all reading this and then licking your wrists and it's making me giggle...;-)

Hugs, Sunshine. Love yourself. You deserve good things.

-k.

[SunshineGold03]

Hello Kell,
Thanks for your warm wishes!

Jenn

[Butterfly_Faerie]

{{{{{sunshinegold}}}}}}

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>