[Maven]

I am going through so much. My OCD affects so many things, that I can barely do anything. I can't even relieve my anxiety easily. For instance, a cool cloth on my forehead can help my anxiety, but then I have to go through washing my hands and often my arms, and that stresses me out. The simplest things are hard for me.

I've weaned off my meds, so sick of the side effects and risks, and now the anxiety is really kicking in, as I expected it to. But I have no one I can lean on in real life, and that makes it extra hard. I'm terrified I'm going to have a panic attack.

I haven't slept well the past couple of days, because I keep waking up, overheated and panicky, and it's difficult to breathe when I lay down, causing further anxiety.

As I posted in the General section, we don't have TV right now, and I'm used to having the TV to relax me. Substitutes aren't really enough. (See the thread for more info.)

I want to cry so bad, but crying means having to wash my hands, because the tears make me feel "dirty." I can't cry in front of people, because they feel burdened by me (my bf has said so), and I stress them out. Plus, they would rather I go back on the meds, not caring what the meds do to me or how they make me feel. They only care what makes it easier for them.

I get so stressed out trying to research alternatives, and nutrition, and trying to stick to healthier eating is hard. I really love sugar.

Just needed to vent right now. I'll post more later.

[England_123]

I dont know if it helps but there are some free TV type things on the internet.. I`m sure if you google you can find something.They may help get over the immediate issue.

I`m recently diagnosed (two days ago actually) and going to get the meds tomorrow. Yes I am slightly scared about taking them, but I haven`t been as positive as I feel right now in years because I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. However my brain is having a real good go at the moment, almost trying to convince me that they wont work before I start them. I`m not ignoring it, just trying to deal with it, always thinking about the good things I will be able to do when they work.

If the goal is worth it, then the journey no matter how hard, is worth it too. Whats your goal , how would you like your life to be ? What are some of the specifics you "dream of". Thats what I keep thinking to myself. I imagine an ideal day, and when I really think about it realise the things I want are the simple things, and are attainable I take pride in small victories, the bits others take for granted, but I think to myself "thats a step on the journey"

[Maven]

Thanks...the problem with the computer is, I can't take it into the living room. When I'm on the computer, I don't need a show to watch or anything. It isn't really about the shows...it's just having the TV, visuals and sounds available in the living room. I have to be in the living room for our bird (birds need companionship), and just need the TV to focus on.

However, we just got our new receiver today, so hopefully, this one will work ok. I'm just P.O.'ed about losing out on all the shows and movies we'd recorded to watch. I am really upset about that, because I was really looking forward to them.

Good luck with the meds and overcoming your anxiety and OCD!