Still counting

OCD. What a stupid thing to have. I mean really how silly I feel rubbing my nose just the right way, drying my back with a towel six times on the right, then 10 on the left. If I forget to drag the towel across my left ear just right, guess what, square one. Do it all again. I almost made me and my son late for the movies today because I couldnt stop drying my darn back. Arrrgghhh. Then of course on the way there I have to tap my right heel against the kick panel in my car all the way there. Not just tap mind you but tap, twice, then four times, then 8 then 16. Man this is killing me. My nose hurts from rubbing it, my throat hurts from making what my mother calls "piggy noises", and I feel totally stupid. I have to wait until Im pushing 60 to get a damn appointment with a phsychiatrist aroud this one pony town. The medical DR I went to wouldnt give me anything for it and acted like he really didnt care. The idiot told me to try and just "not do it so much" Obviously he got his degree through Cheerios box tops or something. Any professional would never tell someone with OCD that they could simply stop counting and rubbing things so much. He actually said to me, just try doing something else to take your mind off it. Uumm excuse me but if I could just do that it wouldnt be the horrible disease it is right? Anyway, Im venting here a little, its just so frustrating. Oh and no I dont know how to spell phsychiatrist !! LOL

My daughter was diagnosed with ocd at a young age. The ssris help, as does exposure and response prevention. There is an ocd site in Connecticut U.S. you may want to check out. The therapy is as important as the meds. Also duke does a lot with ocd. Good luck.

does any1 here feal like they have dirt and hair in their mouth and on their face so your constantly having to check ur face and blow ur nose and clear ur throat...etc? I also make every1 late at my house too doing weird things like that(its nice seeing im not the only abnormal person on the planet)

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone...I feel the frustration when I am told I should just snap out of it or do other things to take my mind off of it. If I could just do that would I be doing??? Duh no i wouldnt. No one could want these horrible feelings. I just want them to go away!!!! Anyhow I hope things get better for you I had a bad experience with therapy and now I am going to be seeing a new one this week. I hope that works out and i can live a happy normal life once and for all. Good luck!!!!

I always clear my throat because I am obsessed with the way it feels. I am afraid of not being able to breath, so I constantly clear my throat to make it feel better, or so I think I make it feel better. I am concious of doing it, but can't seem to stop. I want to breathe!!!

i think i do it bc i feel like im swallowing dirt or hair and something bad will happen...of course nothing will but....

Hi JK1967,

I have respect for you, dealing with such hard OCD. I have it in thoughts mainly, and in alignment obsessions. I think that it is tied up with the panic, anxiety, depression and all that stuff that we tend to have as well.

It is my belief, after 45 years of various horrible symptoms, that for me the bottom line is FEAR. In three hours time I am getting on a flight to Spain. I was 40 before I could fly on a plane, and my father (also a sufferer) could never fly or even use public transport. He once paid to go 120 miles in a taxi because he was frightened of going on the train.

I know now that all the rituals in the world won't stop a panic attack and if I get one I will survive it. This single understanding has enabled me to travel, both with my family and also alone. I have even been travelling abroad alone with horrible IBS, and still enjoyed the victory.

I'm not saying that we can always defeat this stuff with willpower, because we surely can't, but I am saying that I have managed to reduce some of my barriers through facing the spider at the bottom of my particular barrel. It doesn't bring relief, but you do get to see some different scenery along the way.

Good luck, and I hope it gets easier for you.