[LoganJoan]

Recently I reached out to a family member, and expressed a lot of anger towards them. It was a defensive message, but it was not disrespectful, but it was about the things I've heard him say about me and I just found the courage to let it all out to them. I felt like my family never wanted to see me happy, and I just wanted to express it. & they took it as if I was trying make them responsible for all I went thru. But I wasn't I just wanted to let it out over the years. I felt horrible afterwards, I felt so misunderstood, and I felt stupid. My panic attack came on, I had my mom call those family members and they reassured her that they wasn't mad, they understood, and that it was okay. But now I am having intrusive thoughts thinking that they now think I'm crazy and bipolar. They told my mom, that the doors is always open for me and that they understand. But I still worry about what they might be saying. I still feel crazy. I am having a really bad episode. I have always dealt with anxiety issues, I mean this isn't the first.... I obsess over things a lot. Even within this situation, I started to think what if I start to attack innocent people of the past. What if I'm going mad,? What if people think I'm nuts? This is eating me up. I hope this passes like the other incidents, I haven't felt like this in about 3 years, I have had my lil anxiety attacks but they never was this strong. I feel like I will never get over my feelings. I have breakdowns all day, I replace one worry with another worry that's not true. I feel I'm not in control.

And I am set to move to LA in about 3 weeks, I'm just 25 and I've gotten over a lot of stuff. These past few years. But I want to feel good and normal again.

Anyone has any tips

[Sunflower123]

Do you think your anxiety could be also tied to your upcoming move? Are you on any medication for anxiety? If not, that could be a game changer for you. If you are, could you see your pdoc to see if they need to tweak your medication? Do you see a therapist? If you do, maybe they can help you address some of these obsessive thoughts. If it continues in LA, that's always a possibility. Have hope...there is help available. I get hung up in my anxiety to sometimes. It's really tough. There are apps that help with anxiety like Mindshift, Virtual toolbox and Calm to name a few. The Calm app has helped eased or stop my anxiety and obsessive thoughts at times.

I hope your move goes smoothly. Welcome to PC. Best wishes.

[Unrigged64072835]

You can't control what other people think about you, no matter what you say. What you can control is your reaction and how you feel about it.

Since you're moving soon, you may want to find a workbook on controlling your anxiety. Then you can try finding a therapist after you move.

[Wunderland]

Hello,

i can only assume that you had these feelings pent up inside for a long time, towards this family member who spoke badly about you. I've done the same thing in my past, and I'm not proud of it. I guess I let it linger and boil inside because I'm really slow with responding. It's almost like a delayed reaction.

Anyway, I digress. I think it was good that you confronted your family member. I am sorry that you feel ganged up upon, which is what it sounds like. However, it was very good that your mom called them, and the family members said it was okay, and that they understood. It sounds like they care very much about you. I can understand that you feel like people are judging you as crazy. But I don't see it that way. I think they understand.

It took me a long time for my anger and anxiety to go away. I was livid, just as you are. Maybe it might help you to remind yourself that you are in control of your own life now. As others have mentioned, please check with your PDoc, assess your medications and whether they are working or not, reflect upon whether your anxiety is tied to the upcoming move.

I do not want to patronize you, because you seem like a capable adult, despite the anxiety. But other suggestions that come to mind are..... get a massage asap, walk around a park and be around nature for just 20 minutes each day, write down 5 positive things each day to refocus your thoughts. I'm sorry I can't think of any more suggestions, but these have helped me in the past.

[defyinggravity65]

Originally Posted by LoganJoan

Recently I reached out to a family member, and expressed a lot of anger towards them. It was a defensive message, but it was not disrespectful, but it was about the things I've heard him say about me and I just found the courage to let it all out to them. I felt like my family never wanted to see me happy, and I just wanted to express it. & they took it as if I was trying make them responsible for all I went thru. But I wasn't I just wanted to let it out over the years. I felt horrible afterwards, I felt so misunderstood, and I felt stupid. My panic attack came on, I had my mom call those family members and they reassured her that they wasn't mad, they understood, and that it was okay. But now I am having intrusive thoughts thinking that they now think I'm crazy and bipolar. They told my mom, that the doors is always open for me and that they understand. But I still worry about what they might be saying. I still feel crazy. I am having a really bad episode. I have always dealt with anxiety issues, I mean this isn't the first.... I obsess over things a lot. Even within this situation, I started to think what if I start to attack innocent people of the past. What if I'm going mad,? What if people think I'm nuts? This is eating me up. I hope this passes like the other incidents, I haven't felt like this in about 3 years, I have had my lil anxiety attacks but they never was this strong. I feel like I will never get over my feelings. I have breakdowns all day, I replace one worry with another worry that's not true. I feel I'm not in control.

And I am set to move to LA in about 3 weeks, I'm just 25 and I've gotten over a lot of stuff. These past few years. But I want to feel good and normal again.

Anyone has any tips

I went through a similar time when I was in college and the only thing I can say is that distraction and the passing of time are the best healers I've found. Try not to let yourself get caught up in a cycle where you are having obsessions and anxiety about your own anxiety. Acknowledge the anxiety and the feelings that it causes. State where you feel it on your body. State how, in the present moment, it's affecting each of your senses. Remember that you are not alone in your feelings, and that there are people (like me and others on this forum) that really can imagine what your going through and can visualize extreme terror. Then, try to do something else relaxing or even a little enjoyable. Watch a movie, eat a cupcake, go for a walk, visit puppies at the humane society. Take in the moment and don't force yourself to enjoy it, just force yourself to do it and to know that this will not last forever! Hope this helps.

[janeausten1231]

Are you under the care of a psychiatrist and do you go to therapy? That is your first step. You need a psychiatrist to help you know exactly what is going on mentally and help you with medication if you need it. Here is why I say that. Number one you mention several times that you think or your family thinks your crazy. Why not find out?? I guarantee the word crazy won't be used to describe you. Secondly, youre having racing thoughts and severe anxiety. Thirdly, you are no longer able to control your emotions and it is "spilling out" to your family. Finally, you will not have to keep wondering, you will know and then you can find a way to live peacefully in your own skin. Mental health used to be tabu like you said, just a bunch of crazy bipolar people, which bipolar is far from being crazy. You need some peace of mind. If you were having headaches and a terrible rash you would go to the Dr and get help. Mental health is the same it's just that no one can see your rash. It doesn't change that you need a Dr. Ok. Good luck!!