Can not stop crying.

I'm hoping you do too. I can't predict how tomorrow will go, but I feel pretty certain it's worse in your head tonight than it will be for real in the morning.

Thank you for your support.

I'm about to go to bed myself (west coast here). But I don't want to jump ship if you're still crying uncontrollably.

Hoping you are sleeping now. Good luck tomorrow. Goodnight.

Fell asleep for an hour. Thank you so much for listening.

Just curious, did you meet with them yet? If so, how are you feeling about it now?

The meeting went well. They were understanding. All I'm left with now is feeling a sense of embarrassment.

I doubt they are sitting there thinking poorly of you. Like I said, it's very normal for people to have doubts about taking new positions, and lots of people back out.

I'm glad they were understanding.

That's a really good point. Thanks for hanging with me last night.

Sorry for jumping in here.

Hidesad , I have read how Biornen is helping you and will not interfere.

I only want to say , you sound so much like me !! I don`t have low self-confidence , I don`t have any self-confidence at all.

If it were not for the fact I am all alone and have to buy food / shop do things I must to stay alive , I might never get out of bed

I would like to tell you a story , and I will try to keep this as brief as I can:

I suffer from Phobic Anxiety and I have been treated for a long long time , and yes I am seeing a therapist and MD.

I couple of decades ( not a type-o ) before I was on the right dosage , I had a panic attack so bad that I drove 45 min.`s to have fun and was fine when I left the house , but the PA hit me like a ton of bricks. I had my meds and water , so I took one , sat in my car , and after a couple of min. before the meds had a chance to take affect , I got PO`d , I mean really PO`d at PA`s and I said BS , PA you are not mucking with me anymore , so muck off.

I got out of my car and went to the event just fine.

My PA`s were and are sometimes that crippling , until that night. I told my doctor and he said "good for you" .

That my friend is the truth , strange , but the truth.

I do hope you find peace , I am here if you or anyone needs me.

We are all in this together

Take care ,

Keyplayer 

Keyplayer. Thanks so much for jumping in. Your story was uplifting. Crippling is such the right word. The other night my mind could not go anywhere else but the thought of how I just really ruined my life. The tension racing thru my body was piercing. The thought of anyone seeing me like this would be totally humiliating. I woke up in the morning pulled myself together the best that I can and dealt with the situation. Which on the surface went well (I say the surface b/c I can not completely let go that I just did something catastrophic ) Now I'm dealing with the after effects of what people think of me. Do they realize how pathetic I am? The tough part with me is that time will pass and I will feel better but I also deal with rumination issues which the slightest reminder will bring me back to these feelings. I have been working on years on these issues (therapist and meds) I do like this site b/c it does provide me with an outlet which I can use at any time. Lets face it it is not unusual for a someone to be on there phone typing away. Thank you.

Hi Hidesad ,

I hope you are well , and please do not ever , not for one second think you don`t matter.

Don`t ever think yourself not worthy of a happy life , a life filled with love and joy.

As I live and breath and go through my own set of issues , I can tell you , do what ever it takes to like yourself.

We are many , but you are one , we will stand united to be sure , however we all must go back to our caves and hibernate for a short while , but then we come out and say "Hello World"

Never think of yourself a failure , because if that were the case you would not be posting.

Somewhere , stuck in some small area inside , you have the same struggle break free like we all do , and you too will find the door to freedom.

Have faith my friend , no one ever said life would be easy , but it is so worth living.

Be well , we are all here for you , take care

Keyplayer. 