[pconst167]

Hello. I am 31 years old and during the past few days I have been feeling anxiety and fear because of some problems that I have.

I don't know why I am like this, and my problem seems difficult to put into words.

To be direct, I worry about what thinking is, what words are, and why we as humans understand out own thoughts and what that all means.

Basically sometimes, out of nowhere, I become aware of myself, and my own thoughts, and my own existence, and it just feels weird to me what this all is. It seems confusing to experience my own thoughts and to understand them. What is understanding? When we are thinking, why we do understand our own thoughts? It could well be that we were unaware of them and they were just gibberish sounds, but we put them in correct grammar, we understand them.

This confuses me and is paradoxical. I want to get free of this and just be normal. I want to be ignorant of this like I was before and not worry about it.

I try to get myself out of it by realizing that everything is okay, and that we evolved in this universe out of lower creatures that did not know how to think, and to which thinking was meaningless and non existent, but we somehow evolved a brain, and this brain can look at the world, and associate little sounds with objects and actions, and it is smart enough to put them together to form sentences. And so thinking would simply be little sounds put together to make something that exists or could exist in the world.

But still it feels weird to me to exist and to be here now and to think. It's seems strange. It's like I don't really know what I'm doing. It feels that in reality we don't really know what we're doing, we just do it and are unaware of it. But I am aware of it and it bothers me.

I would like to think that it's all fine and good, and thatw e are here because the universe exists and probably has always existed, and reality is here. This is what reality is. And this is where I am. And this is what I am thinking. It feels confusing to me to be here now, but that's where I am.

Please help me get over this, help me feel normal and accept what is.

I think I need a psychiatrist, but I don't want to take medicines because I am very sensitive to my psyche and I don't want it to change for the worse.

Thank you

[Skeezyks]

Hello pconst: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

There is a forum, here on PC, dedicated to the subject of anxiety. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/anxiety-panic-phobias/

Yes... when you consider what life is all about... & human life in particular... it really is all very strange. I don't know as there is much of anything I could offer to help you get over what you're struggling with. But perhaps it's not necessarily important to focus on the subject matter of your particular concerns, but rather to focus simply on the fact that you're struggling with a lot of anxiety along with intrusive thoughts & rumination in general. (I don't really know. That's just my personal non-professional opinion.)

You mentioned thinking you might need to see a psychiatrist. But you don't want to take medicines. I'm not on any medications. So I can understand how you feel about this. My personal feeling is that what may be preferable would be for you to find a mental health therapist you feel comfortable with & work with that person over a period of time. Then, as time passes, should you feel the need, the question of you seeing a psychiatrist can be revisited.

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of rumination. They're not going to address the particular subject matter you're concerned with. But hopefully they can provide you with some insight into the topic of rumination in general:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-ways...tuck-thoughts/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-ru...d-how-to-stop/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/when-ru...mes-a-problem/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-re...uce-the-cycle/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/artfu...lp-to-stop-it/

Also... there is such a thing as existential depression. And perhaps this also touches upon what you're experiencing. So here are links to articles on that subject as well:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is...al-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping...al-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/existe...human-anxiety/

My best wishes to you.

[Noncomposmentis8]

The same few things have been happening to me lately. My anxiety was REALLY bad in 2008 to the point where I was having anxiety attacks daily.. I took control of them for a few years but the last few nights I feel like its back in full force...I forgot the ways I used to cope and I feel kinda helpless. I think what helped me was just time... maybe were in a funk? Hopefully you and I get through this in a few more days, maybe weeks. Good luck.

[pconst167]

Originally Posted by Noncomposmentis8

The same few things have been happening to me lately. My anxiety was REALLY bad in 2008 to the point where I was having anxiety attacks daily.. I took control of them for a few years but the last few nights I feel like its back in full force...I forgot the ways I used to cope and I feel kinda helpless. I think what helped me was just time... maybe were in a funk? Hopefully you and I get through this in a few more days, maybe weeks. Good luck.

It's good not to feel alone.

Today i am feeling helpless. It's like my worst nightmares are coming true. Life feels like a dream. A bad dream. I am scared.

[pconst167]

Can anyone please tell me that I am just being silly? I am afraid. Please help.

[CANDC]

Hi pconst167. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you are feeling anxious and afraid. These can be normal reactions when we face a threat but are not helpful when we face no real threat in real life.

You may want to contact a psych professional and talk with them about it. This article may be of interest https://psychcentral.com/disorders/anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/living-...c-and-anxiety/

[Sasqautch]

I had a problem kinda similar but different. iIt was me becoming so fed up with thinking about the same thing repeatedly or it was one word. I was for a long time telling my brain out loud to shut up and leave me alone and had a fear my brain would take over me as its own being and i would be under its control like a puppet. Quitiepine has helped me , It has completely slowed down and blocked out this racing mind of mine. Your thing is quite different though but i thought i could kinda relate , Dont go asking for Quitiepine lol as it wont help you with your thing.