[AlteredState01]

Why can I not keep my mouth SHUT!!!

Why can't I regain control, once it starts to slip?

Nothing changes - ever! Oh, sure, I might have a calm period for a few days, but let's face it, the old pattern ALWAYS return.

I learn as much as I can about my illness; practice what pdocs and therapist teach; willingly subject myself to countless meds that affects negatively on my body, yet do nothing to help balance my brain chemicals; I've endured electrocutions (ECT), and what is the ultimate result??

NOTHING!

[Perna]

Just apologize to her for freaking out. She'll understand. That's "taking control". Everyone freaks out. The trick is to freak out less intensely less and less often by either learning how and practicing catching one's self beforehand more often or getting over it sooner and cleaning up the "mess".

You're allowed to freak out! This ain't a picnic!

[sabby]

[AlteredState01]

Alway apologizing to someone. And I am very fortunate - my mom may not understand, but she's always willing to forgive - so far. That's what makes freaking on her that much more guilt-wracking.

Unfortunately, your "trick?" Hasn't worked for me.

[Perna]

Yes, the old pattern "returns" but next time may be 3-1/2 days returning or last only 1/2 as long before you realize and come out of it, etc. It just takes a long long time! We didn't get this way in a moment. I think that's why diets don't work, we gain 10-20 pounds in 3 months to a year but expect to lose it in two weeks or something! Learning a new habit or breaking one takes 21 days when you practice it faithfully! It's going to take longer the deeper the "groove" our brain has cut doing the same thing over and over.

If you use the same ski tracks down a mountain it gets all hard, compact, and slippery; not good skiing at all. The only way to fix that is to find a new/different way down the mountain. There's never just one way but we get "use to" the old ways. But if you jolt your mind out of it (by remembering this post/conversation is one way) it will learn to do things differently.

Now, next time you start to freak on your mother you'll suddenly remember this post and that will help you stop sooner :-) You can come freak on me instead because you had to stop yourself from freaking on your mother

[AlteredState01]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Now, next time you start to freak on your mother you'll suddenly remember this post and that will help you stop sooner :-) You can come freak on me instead because you had to stop yourself from freaking on your mother

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Okay. but it will probably look something like this:

What the @$#^$%&% is @#$$%$#$%$ and who the @^%$(^&%^ do they *&%^%^%^$ think they are. And that %($@&^ is totally *&%$*&*&&^.

Oh, forget it...you wouldn't have a &$^%#&^& clue $^^&&$$((@$%&^&^%%$^%&^*&)_)^&^$%$^$#%*_(.

And just to make sure you understand, I'll put it this way:

%&#)^*@!%$$#^*(*&^^^ and {^%&^%^$$#@$#)&%*^$*^$.

As long as your ok with that...

[Perna]

I'm great with that! Anything is often better than freaking out one's poor old mother. Thanks for the heads-up of what to look for and what it "means" :-)