[Deilla]

For the past 2 years, I've had a lot of difficulty leaving my house. These past few weeks have been especially hard. I cancelled medical appointments cause I just don't want to leave the safety of my house. The thought of going out creates a lot of anxiety. I worry about getting dressed, driving and being out in public. I try to tell myself that it usually works out, but that doesn't help stop the anxiety. I tend to go to one medical appointment a week. I can't handle more than that.

My family has invited me out to eat for Thanksgiving. That is causing me a lot of anxiety. Number one, I don't want to be in a crowd. And number two, preparing for the outing will be stressful. I thought I could ask my mom to drive. That would help. Anyway, I may just stay home alone.

Anyone else can relate?

[AllIHaveIsHope]

Deilla,

I could have written your post verbatim, I hate what anxiety has done to us and others. I remember when i was normal and had never heard of the term agoraphobia. This might be the first Thanksgiving alone for me because of it.

Well, Happy Thanksgiving anyways

[Deilla]

Hi AllIHaveIsHope, thanks for responding. Yes, the anxiety is pretty tough. I remember when I would go places with no problem. I used to ride a motorcycle across the country with no fear. Now I'm scared to drive just down the street to the pharmacy. I did it today though. I was dressed and told myself to just go. I'm glad I got it out the way. I have to go back again to pick up the meds. My med provider gives me paper scripts. But I think I will wait until Saturday. I want to rest tomorrow.

Happy early Thanks giving to you. My mom told me it could just be an outing with the two of us. Unfortunately, that leaves my sister out, which I don't want to do. I think my mom and my sister should go. Maybe my mom can come by to visit me for coffee and pie. I don't know. I have to find the energy to clean my place. Maybe I will try this weekend.

[sarahsweets]

I had agoraphobia about 8 years ago due to a traumatic experience with my local cops and I became afraid to drive. (not arrested or anything) I wont say it was only because of that but it seemed to be the trigger. The only time I could leave was if my husband drove me somewhere. I cancelled appointments and all sorts of things. My doc at the time was kind enough to do some phone consults for me and my therapist too. I learned about exposure therapy not in the official sense but something I read about and what my therapist suggested. He first suggested I walk to the corner and back and I did that. Then it was around the block, etc. Then he suggested I pull my car out of the driveway and go to the corner and back. Then it was around the corner. Then it was the back roads into town, and eventually the highways. This all occurred over time and with no set schedule. With each goal met as i was able to work through the gripping anxiety and build on each goal. I also took medication for anxiety and panic attacks. I was able to get better and now have no issues. I am not saying this works for everyone but it worked for me.

[Deilla]

Hi SarahSweets! Yes, I've heard of exposure therapy. That's great that it worked out so well for you. One thing I really want to do is go to a park. I think I can drive to the one close to my house and sit in my car in the parking lot. It will probably feel good to do the drive out there. Once I got comfortable with that, then I thought I could try getting out of my car to find a place to sit a while. I know I would love it, but unfortunately the thought of it makes me so anxious. I wonder if it would help me if I could find someone to go with. Like maybe meet my sister out there. I don't know. Like today would be a good day to go somewhere. But the thought upsets me. So I think I will just stay home.

[FluffyPuppy]

Yes, I've been this way for about the last 6 years, maybe longer. Is there any specific event that took place that started making you fearful that you know of? For me I think going out with a drug induced paranoia setting in might have triggered it or a bad break up with a girlfriend. I have been diagnosed with a number of anxiety disorders. I still live with a parent and always need someone with me when I go anywhere. Thinking of getting into a long term hospitalization or residential treatment facility.. I was recently put on a extended release beta blocker and they have helped a little bit. I haven't been out again since my script but even at home it has made a difference because loud noises would set me off and make my heart start racing but haven't anymore.

[Deilla]

Hi GuitarsOnMars! I think what triggered all this for me was when my diabetes was diagnosed and I had a foot injury. For 6 weeks I was seeing my GP and the podiatrist plus other health care professionals about 3 times a week. It was very stressful. It was more than I could handle. I was in a lot of pain and my GP wasn't really helping my diabetes. I was sick a lot. I just wanted to rest all day.

Sorry to hear you are struggling. Bad break ups are difficult. There's part of me that thinks my issue began after my own difficult relationship. And then it further developed because of all the medical treatments. I hope your medicine helps you with going out.

[FluffyPuppy]

Originally Posted by Deilla

Hi GuitarsOnMars! I think what triggered all this for me was when my diabetes was diagnosed and I had a foot injury. For 6 weeks I was seeing my GP and the podiatrist plus other health care professionals about 3 times a week. It was very stressful. It was more than I could handle. I was in a lot of pain and my GP wasn't really helping my diabetes. I was sick a lot. I just wanted to rest all day.

Sorry to hear you are struggling. Bad break ups are difficult. There's part of me that thinks my issue began after my own difficult relationship. And then it further developed because of all the medical treatments. I hope your medicine helps you with going out.

I'm not too informed on diabetes other than a little practical knowledge from knowing people with it but I can definitely understand the anxiety of a chronic disease. That could an underlying reason and why you're more comfortable in your home.

I've always had blood pressure issues from smoking cigs for over a decade and if you add on anxiety disorders and panic attacks I have hit stroke levels multiple times and taken to ER . Going to have to get a little cuff monitor to take around with me and start monitoring..

Also, maybe some of your meds could be giving you negative side affects that make you uncomfortable. I hope that things get better and more manageable for you and you feel better. don't beat your self up, you're allowed to be at home and rest

+ relationships can be a pain and if you add anxiety disorders especially agoraphobia its like how the heck can I even meet somebody and its hard for others to understand and accept you for you. Hope you have a little more sweetness in your life.

[Mountaindewed]

I have a hard time going out on weekends and after 1-2 on weekday afternoons. I do ok at work though. Mine is more of a sensory issue. Loud noises and other stuff just overwhelm me. I was thinking of a service dog but maybe getting a pair of those noise cancelling head phones autistic kids wear would be better. But that may be taking it a bit far. I don’t want people thinking I went off the deep end. But I mean, if I can’t hear them....

[Deilla]

Hi Mountaindewed! Sorry you have that happen to you. Yea, noise canceling headphones sound like a good idea. Maybe people will just think you enjoy music. No matter what, I hope you do what's best for you. I use noise canceling headphones in my house. Sometimes my neighbor gets noisy and I love that I can just put the headphones on and listen to nature sounds or music.

[made08]

Yes, I know the feeling. A few years ago my anxiety made it incredibly worse to go to the store. I only like to go out places that are close to my house , but I didn't have this before anxiety.

[Deilla]

Hi made08! Sorry you are going through that. Yes, it gets hard to do the things we need to do. I'm glad I can order almost everything on line and get it delivered. Even my vaping supplies are delivered from a local shop. I'm very thankful they do that for me. They don't do it for many people. I sent them some holiday cookies as a Thank you. I hope your anxiety gets better.

[Deilla]

Yesterday I got out of the house. It was very scary. I went to the pharmacy and to visit my mom. It was a long drive. The hardest part was coming home because it was getting dark. I was on edge most of the drive. I hate when that happens. Maybe next time I can listen to some music. Visiting my mom was nice. My sister was there.

[zapatoes]

Usually I’m ok going out to the store and do better in a smaller store. Walking in a large, crowded mall at Christmas time, no way, panic will set in and get this feeling of just get me out of here or a large, crowded cafeteria or restaurant and I’m eating by myself, no way forget about it.

[unicornlady]

Hey Deilla, I've felt this way before also. I hope you'll congratulate yourself for getting out of the house and making it through all the fear and anxiety. The best way for me to get better was to acknowledge every step in the right direction, even if it was tiny, even if I was terrified. You made it out into the world. Good for you.

[guy1111]

Originally Posted by Deilla

Yesterday I got out of the house. It was very scary. I went to the pharmacy and to visit my mom. It was a long drive. The hardest part was coming home because it was getting dark. I was on edge most of the drive. I hate when that happens. Maybe next time I can listen to some music. Visiting my mom was nice. My sister was there.

Good job!!

[Deilla]

Thank you! Unfortunately I wasn't able to leave my house for Thanksgiving. I didn't feel well at all. Emotionally I was stressed out and just wanted to stay home. I felt very disappointed in myself for doing that.

[guy1111]

Originally Posted by Deilla

Thank you! Unfortunately I wasn't able to leave my house for Thanksgiving. I didn't feel well at all. Emotionally I was stressed out and just wanted to stay home. I felt very disappointed in myself for doing that.

Did anyone come to visit you, at least?

[Deilla]

Originally Posted by guy1111

Did anyone come to visit you, at least?

No, no one came by. But everyone sent me a text message. So I thought that was nice. I'll take it.

[Deilla]

I finally met up with my mom and sister for dinner. It was hard. I didn't want to do it because I was nervous about being out in public. And part of me wanted to do it because it meant a lot to my mom. I'm just glad it's over with. I had a nice time. Unfortunately, I felt sad and uncomfortable while out. My sister was all dressed up, and so was my mom. I didn't do much with my appearance. I think I looked pretty awful. I was tired. I believe it showed in my face. My sister had just come from work. She said she was tired. She looked at me and said, "You probably don't know what it's like." I do know what it's like! Just surviving takes all my energy. Just because I don't have a job doesn't mean I'm lazy all day!!

[Deilla]

Today I have a dentist appointment. I hope I can shower this morning. I'm nervous about getting dressed for it. I can take back roads to the office. That is good to know. I'm anxious but I will try to go. I really need to. It's past time for my cleaning.

[Deilla]

I couldn't go today. I felt too bad and I was too anxious. I don't know what my problem is.

[unicornlady]

What kind of help have you asked for? Some places can talk to you over the phone. I agree that just because you are not working does not mean you are "lazy". It takes just as much energy, if not more, to deal with the kind of fear and anxiety you have on a daily basis.

[guy1111]

Originally Posted by Deilla

My sister had just come from work. She said she was tired. She looked at me and said, "You probably don't know what it's like." I do know what it's like! Just surviving takes all my energy. Just because I don't have a job doesn't mean I'm lazy all day!!

Sorry to hear that your sister doesn't understand how you feel. It's not uncommon when people don't have the same issue as you for there to be little empathy. You can even explain it until you are blue in the face, but until she goes through what you do, you can't expect her to understand. You can try talking to her and if she understands, that's great! Otherwise, just know that there are many others like you that do understand. You are not alone.