Anxiety Daily Check-In point #8

I am sort of anxious because I ate something three days ago that made my stomach upset and I'm having a bit of a tummy ache.

I had a hystercomy as part of gender reassignment surgery. So I dont have those issues anymore.

I'm sort of anxious because it's getting late and I will have to go to bed soon. Plus I can't find a therapist.

((((Hugs)))))

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That's cool! Could it be side effects from your meds? I hope you feel better.

Congrats on the gender reassignment surgery!

@Deilla - I hope you were able to get rest, and I hope you find some safe and fun things to do.

As far as finding a T, it's really tough these days and around the holidays, since many T's are seeing many more clients due to this pandemic and more. Many T's are burning out, and they are told to make sure they take time off. Many T's naturally take time off during the holidays, which sucks because that's when we tend to need them the most. I wished that they took a safer time off, such as during non-holiday seasons. They'd be safer during a pandemic and also get travel discounts, should they be healthy enough for safe travels with PPE and vaccinations in mind.

That said, it's not impossible to find a T - at least an interim until the holiday season passes, as well as the post-holiday surges in cases. Perhaps consider an interim T you can see online via video or by phone. It may not be the best therapy, but it is better than nothing, depending.

There were times where I managed okay with the freebie hotlines and saving my copayment money for self-care instead. I'd do things to reward and pamper myself with the money that I would have spent on endless intake appointments that seem to offer no treatment at all when you're barely getting to know your new T during those first few weeks. But if you are in crisis or heading there, it's best to find a T right away - and that money would be better spent in therapy. These are just options for you to consider during this tough time. The holidays are the worst to find a new T. I really feel for you!

(((safe hugs)))

PS - you can private message me if you want me to search for T's in your area. I'm in the U.S. though. I'm not familiar with finding T's outside of the U.S.

@Cocosurviving -

My anxiety is just kind of mediocre right now. I could use my 3rd valium and the meds I normally take around this time but its not a big deal to wait.

(((safe hugs))) @Mountaindewed - it sounds like you're doing a lot to self-care. I'm sorry you are struggling with a lot. I hope you feel better today.

I’m feeling a lot better. I met up with my adult daughter to finish Kwanzaa shopping for my grandson. It was very crowded and hot in the store. I have a few more Kwanzaa gifts being shipped.

I purchased soup and tomorrow will grab fresh fruit. I’m drinking caffeine free herbal tea with raw honey and lemon. The weather change has my nasal allergies dripping nonstop.

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I am getting worried over the transmussability of this new COVID variety - omicron. I was supposed to go get my blood drawn today for some labs to check for anemia. I was afraud to go to the lab out of my fear of catching COVID. I've had all 3 shots, but I'm still afraid to go anywhere.

I have OCD now and was also afraid, but I was able to wear a double mask (N95 with KN95 on top), goggles, head scarf covering my hair and ears, and double gloves (disposable under washable cloth gloves). I went to do both blood draw and a urine test. When I returned home, I stripped, washed my hands, washed my glasses, showered, blow dried my hair, wash my glasses again, washed my hands one final time, and rested in my bedroom for at least an hour with clean clothes on. I keep my bedroom the most sanitary of all rooms, and I make sure that there's enough airflow in my apartment. I did all this during "crisis standards of care," when our hospitals were filled with Covid-19 patients. I was safe.

I think if you take similar precautions, you should be fine. There's also special tape you can put around your mask(s) to ensure a tighter seal. N95s, N99s will really help, especially if you put another layer on top (such as a cloth mask or surgical mask over a N95 or N99). If you use a KN95, you will need at least one more layered mask over it, as it's easier to get a counterfeit one.

I still separate my "potentially contaminated clothing" from the rest of the laundry, and I keep it in the hamper for at least one day before I put it in my washing and drying machines on the highest heat setting. I make sure I only wear things that I can wash on the highest heat settings, which is why I donated most of my nice clothing at the beginning of this pandemic.

If I must clean potentially contaminated things right away, such as when I had 3 outings in one day and had too much potentially contaminated laundry piling up, I made sure I wore just any old surgical or cloth mask and gloves while handling the contaminated cloth items from the hamper to the washing machine. I always made sure my hands were washed and cleaned (bare, not gloved) once the items were washed and then placed into the dryer. But from the hamper to the washer, I make sure that I protect myself from fomite-to-aerosol contamination, which is possible. It's the aerosol that is most contagious than the fomite transmission, but it's possible for movement with clothing that the surface contaminants get into the air (aerosolized), which makes breathing that it more likely. That's why I sometimes wear masks and gloves to handle certain cleaning tasks. I still wash my hands after discarding the disposable gloves, but at least I know not much contaminants are under my fingernails, where germs can easily hide.

My anxiety is not as bad as the weekend and last week. I am tired of all the worrying and stressing I've done lately. It is weird. I notice I can feel high anxiety for weeks and at some point, the fatigue from stressing so much makes me stop caring. Not caring as much, lowers my anxiety.

I am probably going to do the same. I can only do what's best for me, but if others want to ruin their lives, let them. I am beyond the point of caring anymore, and I don't need to hear their excuses or be part of the solution since the responsibility is mostly on them (and sometimes the media and disinformation spreaders).

I think when we get to a point of not caring anymore, it helps us think clearer. There isn't all the emotion from the anxiety.

Yeah, we can't worry about other people so much. They are going to do what they do. We can only do what is best for us.

I have to distance myself from not only news, but also other areas that keep bringing up troubling statements of risk-taking, disinformation spreading, misinformation spreading, and the like. It's their consequences now. I'm done trying to help and hinder death, disease, loss, and trauma. They choose that life, they are alone in choosing it. I'm no longer going to try to help. I'm done. I'm just simply going to either ghost, walk away with an explanation, or, if I'm kind of anonymous anyway, ignore. It's not worth my mental health and the resulting immune deficiency from being stressed out by risk-takers. I just can't anymore.

At least I know I'm doing my part on my own with other like-minded individuals who also value the same things I do - safety.

I'm super anxious right now. I dont know why. Its like IP type anxiety right now but of course thats not going to happen. So I'll just take a valium or something and turn on my music.

I'm anxious, my OCD is even dissociated and in denial, and I don't know if the world is getting desensitized to Covid deaths now. It's almost like we expect it and don't care. It could also be that one of my friends has the symptoms - fever, etc. - but refuses to get tested. He is in a different state, but he is in a building I used to live in with my other friends. I worry about him spreading whatever he has to other people. He also wants to go out to the gym and to a restaurant with friends in 2 days. I just don't get why people take such risks. It bothers me. I also worry about his health, too.

I'm anxious because my online therapist didn't respond appropriately to me today. She ignored most of what I said. I don't know who she's talking to. It's not me.

I blog to brain dump, process, brainstorm and clear my thoughts, this is my method.

It’s important to not try to police others. I don’t share my feelings with certain people because they feel the need to try to fix things vs just listening and being supportive without giving unsolicited advice.

When my kids share something with me. I ask, “do you want me to just listen or would you like feedback, would you like my opinion?”

I do read many posts although I don’t leave comments. If I do respond it’s just ((((hugs). It’s not that I don’t care or have compassion. I prefer to allow people to express their feelings, frustrations, thoughts and process situations.

People reach out to you directly when they have a question.

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I'm anxious because I heard on the news today we are all likely to get omicron. I have a 5 and 8 year old nephew who will most likely get it from school and then pass it along to us. My sister is also a middle school teacher. They are coming for Christmas and I'm hoping we are all safe afterwards.

I hope you are all safe, too.

If everyone wore N95 or N99 masks, showered and washed their clothing when they arrived, cleaned and disinfected their items as they arrived, kept surfaces clean, kept air purifiers and fresh air flowing, socially distanced, ate their lunches at work in their own vehicles or outdoors, avoided restaurants during omicron season, and kept hands clean, then it's possible you won't ever get it. If you live alone and shield/isolate/shelter and only meet people outdoors while masked, then you won't get it.

It's a misnomer that everyone will get it. That's pandemic fatigue talking; that's not doing everything you can to reduce the spread. There are ways to reduce the spread, and it's similar to the same ways that were mentioned since they announced that this virus is airborne. It's just that people's pandemic fatigue have caused them to let down their guard. It's individual choices that are spreading this, not that this disease is inevitable. It's human behavior that can be altered, but it won't. People will do what they want to do, unfortunately. But we as individuals do have choices, if we can afford to do so.
We can wear masks around visiting family members, or choose to Zoom instead. There are many alternatives that people can do to avoid getting this virus.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I need to just try to relax. Hide the scale for a few days and ignore the news and go have a mental health day after my lab work in the morning. I want to just do Christmas shopping and go out to eat. I'm not sure whats up with this sudden anxiety. But it seemed to start Saturday morning.

You don’t have to care what I think but personally I feel like you weight yourself too often.

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Its that time of the day/night/week/whatever. Is it covid or is it just anxiety. Not sure whats up with these muscle aches.

@Mountaindewed - I hope you are okay. I hope it's not Covid. My friend had a fever with muscle aches but no other symptoms; he's staying home and quarantining. He doesn't want to get tested, and he doesn't have any tests. I hope he is okay.

My niece and her husband have Covid-19, but my vaccinated nephew (who is on leave from the Army and staying with them and fully vaccinated but not yet boosted) tested negative initially when he found out those he was staying with while on vacation had Covid. My niece's son also tested negative. Perhaps the vaccine works with some strains but not with others. They think it's some other strain because they lost their smell and taste, in addition to having other symptoms.

I'm anxious for a lot of reasons - I don't want anyone I know to die, and I don't want to deal with medical trauma if I get it. I have about 4 or more risk factors for severe or fatal Covid, so I'm doing everything possible to avoid getting it. Most people can't avoid it because they live with others, have to work, etc. I'm fortunate for being able to stay isolated and still afford the bills.

I hope there are a few of us who can avoid getting Covid. It would be nice.