Major Panic Today-- alot of babbling

For a few hours today I felt like absolute crap!

I got a call back for a job at a Dog Kennel, my sister Messaged me on MSN with the number to phone this lady back. Instant panic, I was crying and freaking out ... to scared to call, wringing my hands, I couldn't understand why I'd be so scared like this to call a job back that I know i'd be good at. Everyone always tells me to work with Animals!

From about 2-5 I was a wreak, I called up my psychiatrist balling and I just lost it. But at 5 I managed to pick up the phone and call this lady back about employment, took me a couple of hours thought my body was a wreak I was feeling things I haven't really felt before, or for a long time. I never panic!



So anyways I called, I was worried that it would be too many hours, full time 30-35 hours per week plus weekends and Holidays... I think that's what got me panicky, could I handle that many hours a week? But she already filled that position as kennel operator but she had a part time job working with a yorkshire terrier breeder 2 days a week Wed and Sun 9-5... I thought now this is along my lines, nothing to over-whelming, it's only 2 days but it can build up my self confidence and have a bit of extra money. So I haven't gotten the job yet, I am waiting to hear back from this woman. I was surprised I got back to her though after she told me about this job, I was on the phone 10mins after I hung up the phone with her telling her that transportation wasn't a problem, i'm worried that she'll fill this position without me knowing, but if that is the case, than i know I gave it my all and go to the next thing.

Anyways I don't know, i'm so tired, anxiety really takes a lot out of you...

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

It is perfectly normal to be anxious when starting anything new. I think and I have read books that say that doing what makes you the most uncomfortable is what makes you overcome your fears. Jump in and son't look back. Even though it is so difficult. The job is right for you.

I was feeling anxious this morning. I felt good that I called her back after 5 mins of talking to her. So I guess it's up to her to phone me back today. I told her that i'd let her know today, but I let her know yesturday that Transportation wasn't an issue right now, does that make sense?

I'm not feeling so good today though, headachy, it's tha time of the month too so feeling yucky as it is and anxiety is just adding to it.

Making a coffee that I likely don't need or want, but i'm hoping it will help this dull ache in my head.

Our friend is coming down soon and we are suppose to go out for lunch with him somewhere before he goes to work. My cousin is coming tomorrow so at least I am doing stuff for the rest of the week.

Just not feeling good. I called my psychiatrist and told her not to call me back that I Was fine.

She has me watching what I eat and how much I eat because i'm having alot of anxiety with food right now, and sometimes i'm avoiding it, it's becoming a fear. Not a good fear...

Also she has me doing stuff from my job list with applying, making out cover letters for faxes, doing half full cup siuations where I exceled despite the anxiety.

So we'll see got a lot of homework this week.

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

Hung in there, it is all going to be all right.
You've done a good job so far, so let's hope for the best.

gab

I still haven't phoned her back and it's 2:30pm.. I did leave her messages yesturday the the kennel telling her what was up, I should call her cell phone since she did leave me the number..

I don' t know I keep getting over-whelmed and panic everytime my BF's cell phone rings.

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

I've basically had to curse and say F it and go out and do it regardless how ****** I feel.

I tend to put off things which makes it worse.

Right now my anxiety is pretty low maybe it's because I wont call?

I don't know .. ARGH!

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>