This sucks!

omg, omg, omg, omg, omg. I so don't wanna be a paedophile but thanks to my ocd (i was finally diagnosed) it seems as though I don't have a choice. I am not physically attracted to children (eww!!!) at all but my anxiety keeps telling me differently. Any interest in sex, regardless of age, is now interpreted as paedophilia in my mind so I am not allowed to think about sex at all. Try telling a 17 y/o kid not to think about sex...lol, it gets difficult. This just plain flat out sucks. I don't understand how my ocd yoyo's back and forth from obsessing about killing my parents (God forbid!) to child molestation. So at anytime of the day I will think of myself as either: 1. a serial killer or 2. a dirty old paedophile. As you might guess my self-esteem is right up there next to Justin Timberlake. I just cant understand why it is happening and can't see and end in sight to it. Damn this thing to hell.

hi.

Are you sexually active? with 3D people, I mean.

Ozze:

Sounds like you're on the brink of a major freakout. I can completely understand how those thoughts could freak you out. But the thing I have to say is, and I'm assuming here, you haven't acted on your impulses or your compulsions so...that is saying alot. I also have OCD and get images pop in my head and all I want is for them to go away. It seems the more we stress about them, the more they persist. Relax a little. You haven't acted on them right ? Just stay strong.

And btw: that is an excellent question. Are you sexually active?

Take Care. Try to relax.

Hey there bud, you saw a doc, I am so happy for you. The intrusive thoughts about being a pedophile are the ocd. Acknowledge it and say it out loud. The thoughts of harmong your parents are the same. Did doc start meds? I have been concerned about you and you know I feel you are a good kid and ocd really sucks but people live with it every day and don't let it take over. You can do this. Reach out for support around you. All my thoughts to you

No, I'm not sexually active. I wouldn't dare be at this stage because, like I said, I would think of myself as a paedophile even if the girl was 10 years older than me. And no, I have never acted on these awful thoughts. I would never want to do that to a child. It sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it. I just want to stop thinking about it, and whenever I have a breakthrough and my mind is distracted I go "Hey you've stopped thinking about it", and BOOM, my mind straight away back locked onto it. arrrrggggghhhhhhh

Here's a news flash for you, from the perspective of a woman much, much older than you are: *thinking* about something isn't the same as *doing* something.

When my former stepson was in his teens, he was so beautiful, and I loved him so much that I would sometimes look at him and wish I was his age so that I could date him. That was horribly traumatic! Every so often, I'd catch sight of him around town, or at a school function, and just catch my breath before recognizing him. It was always terrible, because -- while I wasn't really "turned on" by him -- it made me wonder if I might be a potential child molester. It got to the point that I'd get a bit uncomfortable when he'd come and cuddle with me on the sofa in front of the TV.

You know what, though? I would never have touched him that way, and I knew it. I knew that the worry was only coming from the little obsessive portion of my brain. I also knew that it was perfectly OK to see an adolescent as a sexually maturing being, and that the part that wasn't OK was any thought of *acting* on it.

What I think would help you most is to address the real problem: your obsessiveness. Are you on any sort of medication for it? Are you in any sort of therapy for it? Both of those could help you, especially the therapy. The meds can help jump start the relief, but learning how to deal with these fears will help you much more long term.

And, at 17, NOW is the time to do something about this. Otherwise, you may find yourself 40 and still worrying, still fearful, and still wondering how to help yourself.

Take good care of yourself, and I wish you the best.

Ozze, you have another mother on the board now giving you the same info. OCD needs meds. You never told me if you were started on them. Also cognitive behavioral therapy will help. Look my young friend I know from whence I speak. I will speak with my 16 almost 17 year old daughter and see if she wants to be in email contact with you if you would like. She has had the illness for many years. Let me know kiddo and feel good that you are taking steps. You are a brave kid and I like you the first time we chatted.

Sometimes talking about these things like sexual obsessions can help you conquer them. I had terrible thoughts for many, many years, but once I got up the courage to tell my T about them, about how they made me feel, I was able to gain some control over them. I have been doing meditation for several months so when the thoughts would come up I would go into my meditation phrases and manage to put the obsessions out of my mind. I do take Xanax for anxiety but that is all.