[DesperateEric27]

Hi everyone. I am new to the site and do not know where to start. I will try to keep a very long story short. I am a 27 year old single male. I have always been of a shy guy who has been prone to depression. In 2005 I had some serious medical complications that required 3 surgeries. Ever since then I have been going down hill mentally.

I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I was told this problem would get better on it's own and given Ativan as needed and Zoloft. It is now 2008 and I am worse than ever. I have panic attacks daily and do not want to leave the house. I am constantly leaving work because i can't calm down. I am afraid my job will be in jeapordy soon.

I constantly cry and don't feel I know how to relate to people anymore. I ended a relationship and moved into an apartment about 8 months ago. I find that I don't like spending so much time alone. I was put on Xanax daily and Effexor for a bit but got worse. I was but back on Ativan as needed and thought I was improving a bit. My doctor now wants me to go on the anti psychotic medication Zyprexa. I have read about it and am scared to death of it.

I know I have to do something because I can't spend all day crying and upset or sleeping. I have no motivation to even do the simplest things anymore. I am seeing a therapist in addition to my psychiatrist. I have been in therapy for about 8 months no and have continued to spiral. I wish I knew why I was upset, I wish I could explain the feelings I am having.

The only time I am not on edge or crying is when my current boyfriend is with me. When he is gone I miss him so bad. I have never been like that with anyone before. I guess I am looking for others who kind of understand what I am going through. My boyfriend has been very supportive, but does not understand my bad days and seems to have started becoming more frustrated with my problems. We have some great days and he doesn't understand why they are all not like that.

[nowheretorun]

welcome desperatedan

there are so many caring and understanding people at PC that i'm sure will listen to you and offer some help for thier owns experiences.. there is really something therapeutic i think about just writing how we feel and getting feedback from others, learning and sharing and growing...

come in and join, im sure that you will find peace, friends, and help here