[dan073]

hi my name is daniel and i just wantin to get some things off my chest. i havent really told anyone all of my symtoms exept for my mom, but although she wants to very bad she still dont exactly understand me. when i was 19 i got diagnosed with paranoid schizofrenia...everyone thought i was on drugs bc of the way i was talkin and acting. i thought everyone was out to get me.my family,friends,police,government,cia,and even my doctors.i didnt trust no one...i have always been pretty religious but not the way i was supose to. around that same time i was reading the bible and the book of daniel has always been my favorite book.but around this time i got a whole new meanin out of it..i think i am daniel. not just bc of my name.but theres so many similarties that i "think" fit me.even after i got well i still thought that...i always feel like someone is watchin me or listenin to me but ive only heard voices like 2 times.but they werent tellin me to do nothin or anything like that. i have never wanted to harm myself or someone else.i know this may sound "weird" but i honestly feel like i can change the world single handly (with everyones help does that make sense)folks just have to watch and listen.i feel like that is why im here. i dont just like to talk about that bc i know what happens to them ppl but i feel im different. but lately i have been off my meds bc i thought i was well..and well some of them thoughts are slowly comin back. as of lately the main thought on my mind is that someone gave me aids.i feel like when i was younger and would get drunk and pass out folks would take advantage of me.not for sure if ppl raped me or injected me with somethin i dont know.but that thought wont go away.i know i keep goin from one thing to another but im just tryin to get all of this out at once.all of the time i feel like i know what people are thinkin and what they are bout to do and many times i have been proven right but only i know that. i dont feel like i control their thought but i feel like i know what they are thinkin. and as of right now i am off my meds. im not just actually scared or anything as of right now but the thoughts are back.and im naturally high and more religious and i like this. it seems like when im on the medicine im back to the old me dont wanna read the bible or pray always say ill do it later... i think i MAY need the meds but somethin tells me ill be ok with out them. i wanna think its god tellin me that but what if its the devil. but i guess im fixin to go lay down adn try to go to sleep.im sorry i didnt just stay on one subject i get carried away sometimes.... anyones help would be appreciated

[agony007]

welcome to pc. you will find a lot of support here. i take meds to control my psychosis, depression and anxiety.
i take them because for me they are helping me get better. i know some medications can be intrusive because of the side effects. does u're doctor know you stop taking your meds? it really is good to just stop your meds. you should talk to your doctor about your feelings and hopefully you can come up with a treatment plan that works for you. best of luck.

-agony007

[agony007]

i meant to say it really isn't a good idea to get off your meds , sorry for the typo

[Soidhonia]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central. Soidhonia

[Sarah116]

Welcome, how is it going?

[dan073]

well i am doing fine and i go see my doctor tomorrow for the 1st time in almost 2 months.i realize the doctor wants to help me but i have a hard time talking to him.not that i am embarrased or ashamed of my feelings or anything like that but i would just rather not talk about them to him..but tomorrow i am goin to try ............thanks

[(JD)]

I'm glad you're reconsidering going back onto medication. Please do. Wouldn't it sound rather ridiculous if you heard, say, a diabetic say they are going off their medication? Any reason wouldn't really sound like a good idea, right? Some of our maladies require medication. It's just the way it is.

TC!

[spiritual_emergency]

Hello Daniel:

Like you, I'm someone who has gone through a schizophrenic break. My experience also contained religious elements and I found it very helpful to explore various aspects of religion and spirituality for quite some time after -- gnosticism, alchemy, mysticism and shamanism were particular favorites.

Reviewing all that material provided me a framework for interpreting my own experience; it brought meaning and a sense of purpose to my experience so that it didn't have to be just a negative experience, there could be positives within the negatives as well.

I also found it helpful to realize that many other individuals who go through bouts of psychosis have also identified strongly with specific religious themes. This helped me to realize that my experience was "normal" (within that context) and made me feel less "weird" about the entire experience.

Speaking personally, I'm of a mixed opinion about medication. I've not been on any form of medication but I've spoken with numerous other individuals who identified it as personally helpful to them and felt it was instrumental in their recovery. I've spoken with other individuals who felt medication was very unhelpful and simply got in the way of their recovery. It's good to know that many people recover without medication but individual needs vary. The most effective treatment -- every time -- is the one that works for that specific person. What that is for you might be different from what that is for me.

[spiritual_emergency]

Daniel:
If you're still reading, the following may be of interest to you...

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

Religious or Spiritual Problem is a new diagnostic category (Code V62.89) in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-Fourth Edition (APA, 1994). While the acceptance of this new category was based on a proposal documenting the extensive literature on the frequent occurrence of religious and spiritual issues in clinical practice, the impetus for the proposal came from transpersonal clinicians whose initial focus was on spiritual emergencies--forms of distress associated with spiritual practices and experiences. The proposal grew out of the work of the Spiritual Emergence Network to increase the competence of mental health professionals in sensitivity to such spiritual issues. This article describes the rationale for this new category, the history of the proposal, transpersonal perspectives on spiritual emergency, types of religious and spiritual problems (with case illustrations), differential diagnostic issues, psychotherapeutic approaches, and the likely increase in number of persons seeking therapy for spiritual problems. It also presents the preliminary findings from a database of religious and spiritual problems.

More here: From Spiritual Emergency to Spiritual Problem: The Transpersonal Roots of the New DSM-IV Category


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[spiritual_emergency]

daniel: i have always been pretty religious but not the way i was supose to. around that same time i was reading the bible and the book of daniel has always been my favorite book.but around this time i got a whole new meanin out of it..i think i am daniel.

Hello once more daniel. Your story has been on my mind since I first read it a few days ago. I'm guessing that if it was important enough to you to share, it's probably important enough for you to come back and check to see if anyone else has commented on it.

In my own experience I often found myself self-identifying with specific themes and images too. Specific poems, prose and music became very important to me and I read or listened to them over and over again. In hindsight, I can see that they were expressing a part of my experience that I couldn't give voice to. It occurred to me that the same might be happening for you so I went searching for something on the net that could possibly touch that place and found this...

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

"... it's unlikely that I personally will ever end up in a lion pit," you might say. But, indeed, God's people today perhaps are in a lion pit. This pit represents the exile, confinement, and isolation of God's people. It is the place where we feel "cut off" from friends, family, and neighbors and from God and the joy of God's values and lifestyle.

Note the skull in the bottom center of this detail image (above) and the other human bones included in the painting. Daniel is in grave, imminent danger. He has remained alive thanks only to God's protective presence (Daniel 6:22). Daniel is in a grave, a pit, a place of skulls and bones. Above Daniel's head, a stone covering the pit has just been rolled away.

Such a pit is symbolic of exile of being "cut off" from life and community. Distraught at Jerusalem's destruction, Lamentations 3:53 cries, "They have silenced me in the pit. And have placed a stone on me." Verse 55 continues, "I called on your name, O Lord, Out of the lowest pit."

Source: Daniel in the Lion's Den


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Having some insight into this myth/story provides me with a possible means of connection with your own experience. 'Perhaps,' I am thinking to myself, 'Daniel is telling those who can hear what he has to say, that he feels isolated, cut off, terribly alone and in need of a bit of faith that he will get through this personal test.'

.